


Love in Watercolors

by fromseoul2tokyo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Art Student Eren Yeager, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Cute Eren Yeager, Domestic Violence, Drama & Romance, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Furlan is amazing, Gay Sex, Grisha is an awful father, Hanji is the best as always, Homophobic Grisha Yeager, Homophobic Language, IT'LL BE SAD, Idiots in Love, Jean is an asshole, Kenny is the best uncle ever, M/M, Pianist Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Sex, Slow Build, Violence, and then it'll be happy, trust me - Freeform, when they fall in love is great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2020-09-25 06:24:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 80,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20372161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromseoul2tokyo/pseuds/fromseoul2tokyo
Summary: Watercolor: "the art of painting with watercolors, especially using a technique of producing paler colors by diluting them with water rather than by adding white."When Levi and Eren meet, their relationship is diluted - they're just two strangers who happen to be in the same place, same time. Eren is afraid to stand up for himself and Levi is afraid to love and they are both attracted by the other one. But, they are too afraid to make a move...How do you make something that is diluted strong?You add layers.Levi and Eren need to add layers of trust, and care, and joy, and patience to make their connection less diluted. But when Eren's family gets involved and Levi's past comes crawling back in he present, things get beyond complicated.The only way to be together is to overcome their own fears - will they be able to do that?





	1. PART I: Croquant

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! :D  
For the ones who waited for me to finish this story and post it (as I promised at the end of "The Naruto Law") - I'm so sorry it took me so llooooong. I had time to write only in weekends and well, I wanted to do it properly, so yeaaahhhh...  
For the ones who read one of my fanfics for the first time - Hello! ^_^ Nice to meet you. Visit my profile for more :D  
This story is the first multichaptered fanfic that I write in the Attack on Titan universe. I'll warn you - it has some angst and some sad chapters, buuuut overall it's an uplifting story. Or at least I hope you'll see it like that. It is also very personal, at a certain level.  
Now, some general stuff:  
1\. This story will depict gay relationships, if you're not into that, you kno' - don't read.  
2\. Shingeki no Kyojin characters don't belong to me, they belong to Hajime Isayama, obviously.  
3\. I really appreciate any type of feedback, so comment, give me kudos or bookmark the story. I'll try my best to answer your questions if you'll have some.  
4\. Update day is Saturday :D> weekly updates. ;)  
5\. Enjoy this story! ;)

Eren lets himself fall on his bed, his body bouncing at the contact. The red lights of the electronic clock show him is 10 PM. He sighs, a deep sigh that makes his lungs clench, cursing again the horrbile traffic from Marley. The city is amazing, with lots of art galleries, malls, parks and everything else a big glamorous capital city has, but it’s also extremely crowded. And polluted… And it takes him 2 or 3 hours to commute, because, obviously he is not from Marley. His studio is in Shiganshina District, which is basically like a mini town compared to Marley, normally 1 hour away from the capital city (not during rush hour).

Eren’s phone is buzzing on the pillow, so he picks it up with a groan. He knows it’s Friday night and he’s supposed to live the time of his life, but the truth is he is exhausted and the only thing he wants it’s to take a shower and freaking sleep.

~Armin: “Are you free tonight? We’re going to check the last Marvel movie.”~

Eren stares at the message that his friend sent and tries to remember which movie he’s supposed to be interested in.

~”Sorry, Armin. I’m already home. I had a shitty day.”~

~Armin: “Oh, don’t worry. Maybe next time. I’ll tell Mikasa you said hi.”~

Eren puts the phone aside and stares at the ceiling. There are some greasy spots, smudged glitter and cracks. _Cracks._ Just like the ceiling, his life has too many cracks and he feels like he can’t repair or cover them in any way. Is this the life he wanted? To live in a studio as small as a can, in his suffocating hometown, 2 hours away from his university and his dream city?… How did he get here?

Actually, he knows very well how he got here, it’s just sometimes he regrets some of his choices.

He gets up and throws his shoes away, then starts undressing and heads to the small bathroom to take that damn shower he wanted. Coming back in the bedroom (literally if you make a big step to the left of the bed you enter the bathroom) he makes the bed and leans in, inhaling the scent of fresh clothes from his pajamas and enjoying the way his body finally relaxes.

He picks up the phone again, scrolling one more time through his Instagram feed. Armin (his childhood friend), Mikasa (also childhood friend) and Annie (Armin’s girlfriend) are at M.PLAZA waiting for the movie to begin, Keith Shadis (his Contemporary Art teacher) is in Paris, Connie and Sasha (high school friends) posted another picture with the ultrasound of their first baby, Jean (his ex) is kissing Marco’s (his new boyfriend) nose freckles. At the last one Eren’s stomach clenches. He didn’t want to throw up before bed, so he mutters some curse and throws the phone on the nightstand.

At least tomorrow is weekend.

The problem with weekends is it doesn’t last for long and you think you have time to do so many things, but the truth is, at the end of the two days you realize you did almost nothing. Sunday evening Eren stays in the middle of his studio looking around. On the little balcony, which has now the role of his painting space, his canvas with full bloom sakuras lays unfinished. On his desk, near the window, at the right of his bed, his project about the most beautiful Art Museums around the world is also unfinished, the screen of his laptop indicates. Besides, he needs to take a shower and get ready for the chores of the new week: commuting, university, his job as a barista in a little coffee shop called “Croquant”.

He sighs again, the same thoughts as always coming back to his mind: is this his life? Three years ago it was not easy, but it was not like this. Life has always been kinda rough with him, but he managed somehow, thinking that it’s never easy. Yes, his father was getting more and more out of control when he was drinking, yes he saw his mother getting beaten more than once, yes he got beaten more than once, but, well, some had it worse than him. And then, when he had just one more year to finish high school he fell in love…with Jean. Jean who was louder than him, if that was even possible, more restless, more everything. For a while it was good, but Eren knew it would get bad after. It was always like that for him. And it indeed got worse at the end of high school when his father found out he was gay.

Eren shuts his eyes, then shakes his head. The pain of the broken ribs is still present for him, even if it happened some time ago. But, if the physical pain somehow dissipated in time, the pain in his heart never did. The words his father had told him, the filthy insults, the accusations. Everything was ringing in his ears every night he felt too lonely. He tries not to let the flow of memories take him to the moment when Jean, for whom he sacrificed almost everything, told him it was over. Or the moment his father put his luggage in front of him and told him to never come back. Thanks God, at least he had Armin and Mikasa already in Marley and thanks God again he obtained a scholarship for his university years.

And then he was lucky again when mister Pixis, which was the owner of the studio and an old friend of Armin’s grandfather told him he’d rent he house for him. It was not perfect, but at least it wasn’t nothing. The studio was in Shiganshina, but close to the bus station and at a decent distance far away from his old house or the hospital where his father was working. He was safe.

Plus, Pixis agreed when Eren suggested him to close the balcony with plasterboard walls and turn it into a little space where he could bring his easel, his canvases and other things he used for painting. It was getting colder in winter in that small space, but the temperature was perfect for his paintings and if it was getting too cold he could always open the door of his bedroom and let the warm air fill the balcony. So, all in all, he imagined many things going exact the opposite way, but this version of his life was not bad either. He knows now, when things settled in a way, that it could have been worse, much worse.

Eren’s eyes fix at the red glimmering numbers of the clock. 10 PM again. Time still flows, even if he doesn’t like or doesn’t want to. He needs to get ready.

Monday morning finds him a little confused and grumpy, the piercing sound of the alarm waking him up at 5 AM. Outside, April has also a bad day, rain splashing on the pavement.

_“Wonderful” _Eren thinks, then he groans and gets up. In less than 10 minutes he gets dressed, picks up his sandwiches for breakfast, takes his backpack and out the door. The bus station is only 5 minutes away and a car is already waiting. He takes it and looks for a good place to spend the next two hours until Marley. It’s the perfect opportunity to read the things he hadn’t for Keith’s “Contemporary Art” class and to eat his breakfast.

The freeway is getting more and more crowded the closer they get to the capital. When they enter the city is 7 AM, rush hour. The bus leaves him near “Maria Hospital”, which is another half an hour away from “Sina International School of Arts” - the university Eren attends. The rain has stopped and the air is filled with the angry horns of the cars, the smell of gas and the background buzz of the big city. Eren watches the huge car queue on the boulevard and decides is better to walk to school.

When he arrives in class, the room is empty, except a really tall guy who sits in the row from the back. Eren could recognize Reiner’s light blonde hair anywhere, so he goes and sits near him.

“What’s up, Jaeger?”

“Hi! Monday morning, I guess” Eren answers, grimacing. Reiner nods vigorously:

“Tell me about that. I swear I hate this city.”

Eren scratches his nape:

“I hate it and I love it in the same time.”

Reiner crunches his nose:

“Man, always poetic. Don’t you get bored to be this sappy all the time?” he teases him.

Eren laughs:

“I’m a walking work of art, my friend”.

Reiner booms a guffaw of a laugh that echoes in the empty room and a calm voice from behind also breaks the silence:

“I see, you’re flirting with my boyfriend again”.

Eren turns and notices Bertolt, Reiner’s boyfriend, a slouchy guy, tall as a tree and nice, most of the time. He sits near Reiner who gives him a peck on the cheek while Eren observes:

“Sorry Bert, he isn’t my type.”

Bert grins and pats Eren on the shoulder:

“I know. More of him for me.”

Eren purses his lips and starts rummaging in his backpack for his course book.

He knows Reiner and Bertolt since high school. Back then the group was bigger: Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Reiner, Bertolt, Connie, Sasha and Jean. They were just like any other “teen squad”: restless, stupid, loud and carefree. They’d skip classes, drink too much beer, play stupid pranks on each other and dream about a better future in the big city during the long and dry summers in Shiganshina. When high school ended Armin decided to go to medical school, Mikasa to law and Eren, Reiner and Bert to Art. Connie and Sasha picked up a Cooking School, especially because they already had plans of getting married. Jean gave up on them completely moving to New York. Not that Eren actually cared where he went.

They still went out together from time to time, although lately the group hasn’t reunited in a while due to their university and working schedules. Still, Eren was happy he had friends – really good friends who’d make him forget the bad parts of his life.

“Dude, have you seen Connie’s Insta? Man, how many pictures with that embryo are they going to post?” Reiner snickers while Bert raises a judgemental eyebrow at him:

“It’s their future child and they’re happy. Stop being an ass.”

Eren taps the edge of his book:

“They’re excited..I guess. I can’t imagine Connie with a baby though.”

Bert and Reiner nod in the same time:

“Dude, that boy lives on fast-forward.”

The room starts filling with students with every minute that passes until every place is taken. At 8 AM sharp Keith Shadis enters the class with heavy dark circles and a menacing look in his eyes:

“Bon-jour, rats. My weekend in Paris was a disaster thanks to a croissant that gave me a good diarrhea session for the next two days”.

All the students give the teacher a disgusted look. Shadis clicks his tongue and waves a hand in dismissal:

“Don’t give me that look, life’s full of shit, you should know by now. What I wanted to say is that today I don’t want you to give me the usual crap. I’ve had enough. So, let’s get started.”

A little after 2 PM Eren leaves Reiner and Bert in the school cafeteria and heads to “Croquant” for his afternoon shift. The place is two streets away from “Sina School” which is perfect. The walk gives Eren time to breathe between art classes and concepts and the constant buzz of the coffee shop.

“Croquant” is a small space with a few tables inside and more outside, during warm seasons, when the terrace is full with people. It sells almost all types of coffee, tea and French pastries. Eren loves the place, with his warm brown colors on the walls, the small minimalist black furniture and the smell of chocolate, coffee and warm pastries.

At the entrance Isabel, who is one of the owners along with his husband, Farlan, is wiping the water from the tables. She gives a wide smile when she sees Eren, her green eyes sparkling in the shy light of the sun, that finally got out of the clouds.

“Hi dear! How was your weekend?”

“Hi! Too short, I’m afraid.”

Isabel scans his face then leans in and ruffles his hair:

“It’ll get better. Farlan is waiting for you in the back. The croissants delivery just came in.”

Eren nods:

“I’ll go and help him.”

He enters the coffee shop. At the counter Historia waves at him and he smiles back. Due to the hour the place is full, students tapping on their laptops, chatting and two business men sipping their coffees.

Eren goes to the storage room where Farlan is struggling with a box of croissants.

“I heard you need help” Eren says, putting his backpack and hoodie aside.

Farlan jolts and turns around:

“Aha, my knight in armor” he jokes and points the boxes:

“Gue-zz what, they brought again too much. I swear I don’t know how they mess our orders all the time”.

Eren tries to hide a smile hearing the French accent that comes to the surface every time Farlan gets annoyed. It’s the same for Isabel too, but he likes it. When he started university he knew he needed a job, but being a first year student it was hard to find something at a museum or an art gallery. Walking around one day he saw the poster on the windows of “Croquant” with “Searching for a barista/casheer // On cherche un barista/ caissier”. Eren didn’t speak French very well (at all), but he entered and immediately the vibe of the place made him actually want the job. He talked with Farlan and Isabel for two hours and it clicked. They loved his personality and sent him to a two months class for baristas. And bam! things settled. It was a bit exhausting to come from school in a place with so much movement and energy, still, it has been almost 5 months since Eren was working there and he loved it. Plus, Isabel was teaching him French words when the coffee shop was not that full and he was giving them suggestions about how they could change the interior design of the place.

After helping Farlan, Eren changes in his white shirt and puts on the black apron with his name written in delicate letters in the front. He actually made the new designs for the aprons and chose the calligraphy for the names and Isabel gave him more money since then.

At the counter Historia is arranging macarons on a plate, while Eren takes the order from a new customer. Finishing the café latte he hands the cup to the girl and turns to Historia:

“How was your day?”

Historia is a short girl with blue eyes and blonde hair. She looks like a princess from fairytales and has the kindest personality ever. Eren was so relieved when he found out he was working with her. Historia was still in highschool, in her last year and was dreaming to become an English teacher. She already knew which university she’d go to and she didn’t want to give up her job as a barista. It made Eren feel good in a way because he knew at least some things were constant in his life – like some of his friends, his passion for art and “Croquant” and the smell of coffee.

Around 7 PM Isabel comes and tell him she’ll take over until closing time. As always Eren gives her a peck on the cheek while Farlan comments from the storage room that his wife is taken. He changes in his clothes and heads to the bus station, putting his earphones on and listening to “Queen” during the road back home.

***

“Eldia International Airport” it’s a futuristic building, busy like an anthill and smelling like luxe perfumes, fast-food and disinfectant altogether. And Levi hates every part of it, but he doesn’t have a choice. The airport is a permanent presence in his life since he was 18 and started to be the most appreciated pianist in South Korea and Japan. For some reason Asians love him to the point they’re ready to fill a whole stadium and listen to his music for hours. His concerts in Europe or America will never reach the level the ones in Seoul or Tokyo do. Sometimes it is surreal for him, but it’s ok. He gets easily annoyed by the hectic preparations, crowds, fans, languages he can’t get used to and strange foods. But between this and the poverty from the suburbs of Paris, he’d definitely choose the first and forget about the last.

He pinches his nose waiting for his luggage to come. His phone buzzes so he picks it up and gives the screen an annoyed look. _Shitty Glasses _says the screen. Groaning he answers:

“Yes.”

Hanji’s voice scrapes his eardrums:

“My God, Levi, how come you didn’t tell me you’ll be back?!”

“I didn’t know I have to tell you when I’m back” he answers, picking up his bag. He then heads to the exit of the airport, Hanji still whining in his ears about the fact that he didn’t tell her he’ll be back from Tokyo earlier.

“Seriously, if Petra hadn’t told me I would have never knew. You’re a horrible friend.”

“Are you done or you’ll keep talking until I get into the car?” Levi mocks her spotting his Maserati Quattroporte in the parking lot with Hanji on the driver’s seat. He knew that if the told Petra he’s coming back she would tell Hanji and Hanji would wait for him at the airport, very well aware of how much Levi hated taxi drivers.

He gets near the car and she grins at him and gets out to switch places. Her hair is in a loose ponytail and he changed the frames of her glasses.

“Are you sure you can drive after 12 hours of flight?” she asks Levi.

“I think you driving my car once a day is enough.”

Hanji gives him an eye roll and takes the passenger’s seat while Levi turns on the engine and indulges in the purr of it.

“How was Tokyo?”

Levi inhales:

“In full bloom. They have an obsession with cherry trees, “sa-ku-ra” as they say, but it was beautiful. I took too many pictures.”

Hanji smiles:

“That’s good. I haven’t seen you this relaxed for a long time.”

Levi narrows his eyes:

“I think I started to get used to this.”

“You are a successful pianist, of course you should get used to this.”

Levi grimaces, but doesn’t retorts as he’d want to. Maybe he is a bit tired. After he turns on his street and parks in front of his apartment complex, he says:

“I have some japanese green tea, high quality, if you want.”

Hanji grins and gets out of the car, a little bit too excited for something so trivial:

“I knew you love me.”

They drink their tea in silence, here and there Hanji commenting on the photos he took in the country of sushi. An hour later she stands up:

“I’ll head home now. Rest and remember to call Petra tomorrow. She said she has to tell you the details about the courses you’ll teach at Sina.”

Levi nods and allows Hanji to give him a shy hug:

“Bye, Levi. I’m glad you’re back.”

Without telling Hanji, Levi knows it’s always good to be back home. Actually, it’s good to have a home to return to.

Next morning he wakes up at 8 as usual, despite the jet lag and makes himself a good cup of coffee. He calls Petra and finds out that in two days he’ll have his first class at Sina. Petra sounds happy and rambles about how her baby bump got bigger. Levi smiles, if Petra is finally happy and is still talking to him it means life is still good. He cares about her, always did, always will.

Petra and Levi dated in high school. It was a sudden attraction with a disastrous ending. Being with Petra Levi figured he was attracted to men too. After a concert he had in high school he met Erwin, who offered to be his agent and to make his career a success. Levi accepted, figuring out later that he said yes because Erwin was tall, blonde and had piercing blue eyes. The problem was Levi still loved Petra and wasn’t ready to give up to her and date a man. Erwin saw things differently – as in he got Levi drunk, undressed him, made it look like they did it and took a picture, showed it to Petra and everything went to hell from there. Levi had to postpone his first tour after that, fire his agent, clean all the shit and pick up the pieces of his career. It took him two years, but eventually the truth came out – Petra forgave him and became his agent, doing a better job than Erwin.

In all the storm of his life Hanji, Isabel and Farlan stood for him, cursing Erwin and keeping him away from Levi, while he tried so hard to tell Petra the truth, the real truth, not the shit Erwin made up.

Now he is 27 and he isn’t the Levi he used to be, except one thing – he knows he’ll never be able to trust somebody else. Not just because of Erwin, but because of his childhood too – the misery of Paris taught him that people shouldn’t be trusted until they prove themselves. And they prove themselves rarely…

A knock in the door makes him mumble a curse. He goes to open it, greeting his visitor. _Kenny Ackerman._

“Annyeong – haseyo, little mouse.”

Levi grimaces and observes:

“That is freaking Korean and I’ve been to Tokyo, Kenny. What are you doing here?”

His uncle enters the apartment, his usual long ash brown coat on. The raw scent of tobacco fills the air:

“Came to see if you’re ok after you had to eat raw fish there.”

“Sushi is not that bad, as a matter of fact. Still, you didn’t answer my question.”

“Your mother wants to see you. Don’t you want to go back to Paris. At least for a visit?”

The question is hesitant, it’s almost surprising to see Kenny being hesitant around Levi.

“I’ll think about that, but I wouldn’t count on myself if I were you.”

Kenny’s lips form a thin line:

“A brat always stays a brat.”

Levi snorts at that.


	2. Americano with two shots of Espresso

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellloooo people! :))  
Chapter 2 is here - our boys meet. Enjoy!  
And don't forget about feedback - it's highly appreciated!  
Have a nice week! ^_^

Wednesday Eren wakes up too late and has to run all the way from “Maria Hospital” to “Sina” to get in time to his morning classes. He misses breakfast and stays with his stomach rumbling until lunch. Plus, he smudges his favourite jeans with paint and realizes there is also some in his hair when he leaves school to get to “Croquant”.

Arriving there the place is crowded as usual and Historia is moving around the counter like a spinner, trying to take all the orders and to avoid a queue. Eren comes in, throws his backpack aside and proceeds to help her. It’s a little hectic for a while, but Eren inhales deeply, enjoying the powerful scent of the coffee beans and the buzz of the place. He tries to stay focused, smiles at the customers, makes conversation with a little boy that orders an éclair and jokes with a girl who was too shy to ask him for extra milk in her coffee. In an hour or so the rush passes and the coffee shop settles in that calm state, before the new wave of customers from the late afternoon comes in.

That is finally the moment Eren goes in the storage room to eat something, chatting a bit with Farlan who checks if they need to order more strawberry flavoured macarons.

“Is that green paint in your hair?” Farlan asks him with his blue eyes wide, not hiding his amusement.

Eren blushes a bit and answers:

“Yeah, I had a chaotic day. I usually don’t pay attention where I put my hands when I paint.”

Farlan smiles:

“I see. Well, I know someone who doesn’t know what she’s doing if she’s too focused on her work.”

“Who?” Eren asks innocently, munching his sandwich.

“My wife” Farlan chuckles.

“Are you making fun of me??” Isabel’s voice resonates from her office where she probably answers questions on social media.

Farlan and Eren look at each other and try to suppress their laughs.

***

Levi wakes up at 8 AM and stretches his arms. It’s that time of the year when he returns in the lecture halls of the “Sina International Schools of Arts”. He received the opportunity to teach his own course, called “Contemporary Music and Media”, two years ago and since then he always marks his calendar on April and May. The course it’s actually the reason why he denied Asaya’s invitation, his Tokyo agent, to stay two more days in the big city and enjoy the show of the cherry blossoms.

Finishing his coffee he picks up some grey slacks and a white shirt, then takes his keys and phone and gets in his Maserati. He lives in the North part of the city, while “Sina” is in the center. He knows he could take the subway, but he hates crowded spaces and at this hour it is for sure a mess. After 15 minutes of driving he parks at “Sina” and enters the hallways. First stop it’s the dean’s office, where a too smiley Darius Zackly shakes his hands for more than it was needed:

“Mister Ackerman, it’s an honor to have you again in our university.”

“I couldn’t have refused your invitation” Levi simply shrugs, while the dean points him the chair near his desk.

“How was Tokyo?” he asks, picking up a cigar from one of his drawers and lighting it. For some reason, Levi was sure that behind the dignified mask of the dean lays a man with probably very questionable morals and lots of vices. The dean notices he’s being observed and gives an apologetic fake smile:

“You don’t mind, do you?”

Levi shakes his head:

“Not at all. Tokyo was ok, to answer your question, very…Asian.”

Zackly barks a laugh and lets out a dense puff of smoke. _Judging by the scent, that thing is expensive_, Levi thinks. Students pay for their studies and their money are used to buy cigars by decrepit men. _Tsch…_

“So, are you going to teach again until May?” the dean questions Levi, his eyes narrowing and making the wrinkles around his eyes deeper, looking like cracks on a very well maintained mask.

Levi knows he’ll try again to make him start his course from October and probably keep it going for both semesters, but he doesn’t want that. From autumn until Christmas he usually has the concerts and classical music festivals in Seoul and then spring is usually booked for Japan.

“Yes. Only April and May are available for me.”

“I see” Zackly replies pensively, inhaling again from his cigar and fixing the large windows:

“What if I raise your salary?”

Levi lets his eyebrows raise in something that he intends to be a mocking expression – is he trying to buy him with money?

“I’m afraid it’s not about money here. Piano is always my priority…. Besides” Levi adds after a break “I can’t disappoint my fans from Asia.”

The dean scratches his white beard and nods, another fake smile plastered on his face:

“Of course, of course.”

Levi looks at the clock and gets up:

“I have to go to meet my students.”

Zackly jolts and gets up from his luxurious chair, almost taken aback by the fact that Levi simply dismissed him:

“Yes, yes..”

He rapidly recomposes himself and adds with a sweetened tone:

“Again, glad to have such a talented pianist between our walls, mister Ackerman.”

Levi nods, shakes the hand of the dean and rushes out of his voice muttering “_asskisser_”. Behind the closed door of the office Zackly takes back his seat behind the desk and comments out loud, spitting the words:

“Arrogant bastard.”

Levi lets his feet guide him around the halls of “Sina” until he arrives at “Dina Fritz Lecture Hall”. The room is filled with students, some of them carrying around their instruments or playing it. In the left corner of the lecture hall Levi notices a Yamaha Grand Piano, a little bit too old for his taste. The moment he entered the room all voices ceased, students looking like they simply froze in their places. Levi clears his throat, scans the room and leans on his desk:

“You know you don’t have to die the moment you see me, right?”

Some students let out puffs of air in relief, while others seem to tense even more.

Levi purses his lips:

“Until you take out the sticks from your asses I’ll present myself – my name is Levi Ackerman and in these two months I’ll tell you some things about Contemporary Music and Media. This is supposed to be a dynamic course, which means you’ll have to take part in it. We will talk about the main genres of music that shake the industry nowadays – pop, rock, rap, jazz and some new things like electronic music and the waves that come from Asia, mainly known as k-pop and j-pop.”

A girl with pastel pink hair and a violin placed on the desk near her raises her hand timidly. Levi nods and invites her to talk:

“Are we going to talk about…your music too?”

Levi taps the edge of the desk:

“If that is interesting for you, yes, of course. There are two or three meetings where you can choose what you want to talk about. Obviously, relied on the subject of this course.”

The girl and the rest of the room seem pleased. Levi knows that in probably two weeks this innocent scared kitties will turn into loud monsters who will ask too many questions, cross the line when it comes to joking with Levi and whine when he’ll start to talk about the final exam. But, despite that, there is some sort of routine, a calming one that will settle and by the end of May he knows he’ll already start missing these brats.

After the course he decides it’s time to pay a visit to Isabel and Farlan, taking in consideration that their coffee shop is close by. On his way out some of his last year students stop him on the hallway.

“Yo, teacher Ackerman!”

He turns and is greeted by Thomas, Hannah and Franz, all smiling at him. He narrows his eyes at Thomas and asks:

“Did you just “yo” me? Is this what I taught you?”

Thomas grins at him:

“You didn’t lost your jokes on the way.”

“And you didn’t grow up at all” Levi retorts, making the others laugh and Thomas pout jokingly, looking offended.

They talk for a bit until the break ends and the hallways empty. Then Levi heads to the streets and walks until he arrives at “Croquant”. It’s almost 13 and the place is a bit crowded, but not enough to make him uncomfortable. Behind the counter is no one, but he hears steps approaching from the storage room. He notices a young boy who puts on his black apron with a mop of chocolate hair and some vibrant green paint smudged on his bangs. Then the boy raises his eyes and there is this second, this exact second when Levi feels like the world has stopped for a bit or he is suddenly struck by lightning. This barista has the most beautiful and unusual eyes Levi has ever seen – not completely blue, not completely green either, but somewhere in between, which is completely crazy because no one has aquamarine or teal eyes in reality.

The boy fidgets a bit and gives him an encouraging smile:

“You can’t decide what to order?”

His voice is warm and maybe a bit polished, Levi thinks, like it's measured and custom made to fit his appearance. The look that the boy gives him makes him realize he’s probably staring, so he recomposes himself and speaks:

“An Americano, hot, with two shots of Espresso.”

While the barista types his order Levi has a bit of time to read the name on his apron – “Eren”. Eren gives his receipt and proceeds to prepare his drink. Levi notices how easily he moves around the espresso machine, how fluidly he picks up the cup and mixes the coffee shots with water. He hands the cup to Levi with a warm smile, _a smile made for customers_, he thinks, wondering how Eren smiles genuinely.

“Thank you” he says, while Eren nods and goes to serve another customer. Levi turns to sit at a table when Isabel rushes in from the storage room and grins at him:

“Ha! I could swear that was your voice, Big Bro!”

She approaches and gives Levi a bear hug, almost making him spill his coffee.

“Jesus, Isabel, slow the fuck down!”.

She giggles and calls Farlan, making the few customers in the coffee shop chuckle. They’re used to the loud personality of the owner:

“FARLAN! He’s here!”

Farlan mumbles something and gets out of the storage room, face a little bored, until he notices the visitor is Levi. His expression changes then immediately in a wide, almost scary, grin and he gives Levi another version of Isabel’s tight hug.

They sit at a table and start chatting:

“Tell me, how was Japan?” Isabel asks with a high pitch in her voice, probably due to excitement.

Levi rolls his eyes and drink for the first time from his coffee – _“fuck! That kid did a good job!”_

“You ask me this every year. Japan is beautiful now, but crowded. People are obsessed with their freaking pink trees.”

Farlan nudges Isabel with his elbow and mocks Levi:

“I think you’d better say they are obsessed with a very sexy pianist.”

Levi gives him a look:

“Shut the fuck up.”

Isabel giggles and enters Farlan’s game of teasing Levi:

“Come on, Big Bro, no little kawai girl for you? No one caught your attention?”

Levi is ready to blurt out that no freaking kawai bitch could match the hot (probably underage) barista she has in her coffee shop, but refrains himself and retorts:

“Do you think I went there to fuck?”

Farlan grimaces and observes:

“You’re a very refined pianist, but you still talk like a barbarian.”

“We’re not perfect” Levi mocks him with a judgemental raised eyebrow.

“Who made your coffee? Eren?” Isabel asks and Levi points out:

“If the kid at the counter is Eren, then yes”. _Smooth Levi, very smooth._

Farlan observes:

“He’s not a kid, Levi, he’s 20.”

_Ok, not underage..The FUCK AM I THINKING?!_

“I see. He makes a good coffee. What’s with the green paint in his hair? Is this a new wave or something?”

Isabel chuckles:

“No, he’s an Art student, at Sina. He sometimes comes like this, but I think he’s cute.”

Levi doesn’t hear the rest of the phrase, except the fact that Eren and Sina are connected, which means walking around the hallways at Sina he might see Eren. Is it good? _NO! It’s bad. Very bad. I stared already too much._

“Levi, are you paying attention?” Farlan asks, eyes a bit concerned.

Levi frowns:

“What makes you believe I don’t pay attention?”

“I was asking if you want to meet Eren.”

_Should I panic? Like gay panic???_

“Yeah, sure” Levi shrugs, mentally preparing for whatever meeting Eren might bring.

“Hey, Eren! Come here for a sec” Farlan calls the boy and he appears from behind the counter where he probably arranged something. While he approaches Levi notices that his hair stays in all directions and looks extremely fluffy and that he is tall, like really tall. Maybe 1m80cm or something.

“This is Levi” Isabel says “it’s a very old friend of us.”

Eren smiles, this time genuinely and reaches his hand to Levi:

“Hi, Levi. I’m Eren. Nice to meet one of Farlan’s and Isabel’s friends.”

Levi reaches too – Eren’s hand is warm, almost burning, but delicate, with long fingers and a steady, firm grip.

“You mean their only friend” Levi teases and Isabel sticks his tongue out at him.

Eren scratches his nape and gives a lopsided smile:

“Hope you like your coffee”.

Levi scans his face and tries to hide his smile, maintaining a neutral look:

“Not bad for a brat” he says, surprised completely when Eren blushes a bit. A customer enters and he excuses himself, returning behind the counter.

Isabel nudges Levi with her elbow:

“Don’t tease him, he’s a good boy!”

Farlan doesn’t say anything, but Levi knows his friend analyzes him.

***

Eren finishes his lunch and jokes a bit more with Farlan. He hears steps on the wooden floor of the coffee shops and figures it might be a customer. Getting up from his chair he fetches his apron and puts it on while he gets out of the storage room. When he raises his eyes on the newcomer his breath hitches.

_OH, SHIT!_

It’s a young man, probably in his twenties, shorter than him, but sexy nevertheless. The white shirt that he wears does no decent job in hiding the lean fluid muscles of his upper body. He has perfectly jet black hair, with thin straight strands that fall on his forehead and most probably an undercut at the back, Eren notices from this angle. And then, his eyes - _Mother of Jesus!! _Eren curses mentally – his eyes have this molten silver shade, like the perfect shade of grey, cold, yet inviting, hypnotizing. Eren is fucked up by this guy, definitely and irrevocably. He knew he was gay, but suddenly he feels gayer than ever.

What’s worse is that this HOT customer (HOT being the key word here) stares at him, his piercing look doing unorthodox things to his insides…and his imagination. He starts fidgeting and tries so hard to make his brain function, asking timidly:

“You can’t decide what to order?” and immediately wondering after if he stuttered or his voice trembled.

The man orders an Americano with two shots of Espresso and Eren thinks he just turned hotter because that it’s exactly the drink he expected him to order. With those eyes and those looks it would have been a shame if he has ordered something sweet. The bitterness of the Americano matches the sharp undertone in his voice and the even sharper line of his sculpted jaw.

Again, while he prepares the Espresso Eren knows it’s fucked up for today. It’s not the first time he sees a guy on the street who looks like a freaking sex god, but it’s probably the first time, after seeing Jean, when he is so shaken by the presence of another man. Plus, it seems the guy scrutinizes him every move, which makes Eren almost feel nervous. He finishes the drink and hands the cup to the other, pulling out his “professional barista smile.”

He receives a reserved “Thank you” and he simply replies with a nod, heading to serve the girl who waits at the counter. While he prepares the hot chocolate for her, he sees Isabel hugging the hot guy and screaming after Farlan. Probably, no, most certainly, they know each other.

He proceeds to serve the rest of the customers who come in the coffee shop, while Farlan, Isabel and the hot stranger chat at a table in a corner of the room. He sees him sipping from his Americano and can’t read his reaction in any way.

_Oh my Dear God, if it’s bad I’ll kill myself. Did I put too much water in it? Did I forget completely the recipe of Americano? Yes, yes I did._

Realizing his knees started trembling he hides under the counter, pretending he’s arranging the plates stocked under.

_The FUCK JAEGER! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!_

He is standing back up when Farlan calls him:

“Hey, Eren! Come here for a sec”.

_SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! _

Eren takes a deep breath and approaches the table where the three waits for him. He feels the stranger’s eyes scanning him again, most probably because of that damn vivid green smudged paint from his hair. Or maybe he’s just ugly….

“This is Levi” Isabel says “it’s a very old friend of us.”

_Levi _Eren repeats the name in his mind – _suits him, I guess._

He recomposes himself and reaches his hand, smiling:

“Hi, Levi. I’m Eren. Nice to meet one of Farlan’s and Isabel’s friends.”

When Levi’s hand touches his, a jolt of excitement hits his spine and makes his stomach jump around. Levi has cold hands and long delicate fingers. Being closer to him now, Eren notices how he looks maybe a bit older than him, probably 24, maybe 25.

“You mean their only friend” Levi teases and Isabel sticks his tongue out at him. It makes Eren more comfortable than before. He releases Levi’s hand and tries to find a subject to keep the conversation alive. He likes the sharp, almost snarky undertones of Levi’s voice.

He scratches his nape and gives the other a lopsided smile:

“Hope you like your coffee”.

Levi’s demeanor doesn’t change, except a glint of something Eren catches in his grey eyes:

“Not bad for a brat”.

_SHIT!_

He suddenly feels embarrassed and hot and most probably blushes. It’s not like he hates that Levi called him a brat, but now it’s definitely clear that he’s not interested. Not even a bit. Jesus, and how come Eren thought someone who looked like that (out of a Men’s Health) could notice him?

“Please excuse me” he says, turning and walking back behind a counter to serve another customer.

He hears Isabel saying something, but can’t figure out the words. In the palm of his right hand he still feels the cold touch of Levi’s.


	3. Green Tea Macarons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys1 Sorry for being late - here it's chapter 3 with some cute interactions between our boys.  
Have a nice week and don't forget to comment or give kudos!  
Bye ^_^

The rest of the week goes on without major events for Eren. He hopes, maybe just a bit, to see Levi at “Croquant”, but the man doesn’t appear anymore. Of course, again, how could Eren believe that someone like Levi would 1. Be gay. 2. Be gay and be interested in him.

Friday evening, before he takes his backpack and heads to the bus station Isabel chirps:

“Hey, Eren, don’t forget that tomorrow it’s our team building.”

Eren makes a grimace and Isabel asks impatiently:

“You didn’t forget, did you?”

Eren gives her a lopsided smile:

“Almost, but don’t worry, I’ll be there. You said it’s a picnic?”

“Yes. It’s gonna be you, Farlan and me, Historia, Ymir and Hitch.”

Ymir and Hitch are their weekend shifts, and Ymir is Historia’s girlfriend, a tall girl with caramel skin and freckles. Eren remembers her quite well, she’s pretty scary.

“Well, that sounds good. Kind Reiss Central Park, right? At 1 PM?”

Isabel nods, smiling widely:

“Exactly. You can bring your easel if you want”.

“Ok” Eren agrees, kisses her on the cheek and it’s ready to head to the bus station when his phone vibrates:

~Armin: “Up for a bowling game? At M.Plaza? ^_^ ”~

Eren knows that if he says “no” again Armin will get upset. He’ll probably get home late and wake up late tomorrow and he doesn’t have much money to spend, but the truth is he misses Armin and Mikasa too much to refuse this get together.

~ Eren:”Be there in 20 :D”

~Armin: ”Great! I’ll tell Mikasa and Annie.”~

Eren smiles and heads to the opposite way of the bus station.

Half an hour later he hits the first strike, grinning at Armin.

“If you keep up like this all the game we’ll beat the girls.”

Annie, Armin’s girlfriend, frowns at him and takes her turn. Meanwhile Mikasa sits near Eren and hugs him:

“I’ve missed you. It’s everything ok?”

Eren hugs her back and mumbles:

“Yeah, it’s fine. I have to go to a team building tomorrow.”

Armin laughs because Annie missed 2 pins, while she approaches and ruffles her boyfriend’s hair:

“So, you really like being a barista, huh?”

It’s probably one of those rare times when Annie actually speaks to him, so he does his best to answer:

“Yeah, and I love the vibe of that place. It’s refreshing to go there after school.”

Annie nods and Armin gives her a timid peck on the cheek before getting up to take his turn.

In the end the girls actually won the game, because Eren and Armin teased Mikasa too much and she kept on hitting strikes for three times in a row.

Somewhere near 12 AM Eren opens the door of his studio, going straight in the bathroom and then collapsing on his bed.

***

Even if it’s Saturday Levi wakes up at 8 AM. It’s definitely a beautiful day for that picnic Isabel told him about. He knows he should have refused, because it’s obviously a team building for the “Croquant” staff, but Isabel and Farlan pestered him to come.

So, here he is, waking up hours before the event and already thinking what the hell he should wear and if it would be nice to bring with him those green tea macarons he bought in Japan.

He also finds himself wondering if Eren will be there, with those freaking eyes of his.

_The hell I’m even thinking about that brat?!_

He doesn’t even know if the boy it’s gay, and even if he is, most probably he has a freaking girlfriend or boyfriend because he looks too damn well not to.

Frustrated by his own thoughts and feeling like a stupid teenager in heat, he groans, drinking the rest of his coffee and heads to the living room where a white Steinway Grand Piano is waiting for him. He always plays when he has something on his mind.

Sitting on the little chair in front of the instrument Levi closes his eyes and tries to pick up a song to play. He decides Vivaldi’s [“Winter”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6El8B8hJ4Sg) it’s perfect for his current state of mind, so he flips to his notebook for the music sheet of the respective song. The moment he touches the keys and the melody rushes through his fingers he simply forgets why he was frustrated.

Around 13 he decides it’s better if he leaves home and heads to the park. He finally picked up a decent outfit – black skinny jeans and a white, oversized T-shirt. Just in case the wind started to get cold he chooses a loose grey cardigan. Before starting the engine he checks up if he took his phone and the boxes with the green tea macarons.

When he gets to the park, an hour later (_fucking traffic_) Isabel and Farlan text him where they are. From afar he spots Eren’s fluid figure and his chocolate hair burning with undertones of blonde and copper in the sunlight. As he gets closer the boy notices him, his aquamarine eyes fixing on Levi’s.

“Le-le-le-vi” Isabel sing-songs, receiving an eye roll from the respective newcomer. He then shifts his attention on Eren and the boy gives him another piece of his genuine smile:

“Hi Levi!”

Something makes his stomach flutter and a sort of giddiness settles in the depth of his chest, but despite the internal (obviously annoying) turmoil he replies simply:

“Hi Eren!”

Noticing that it’s just Farlan, Isabel and Eren, Levi asks:

“Where are the others?”

Farlan answers:

“Girls, they are late, of course.”

Isabel turns to him and frowns:

“What’s that supposed to mean? You were always late to our dates and you’re not a girl, as far as I know after 4 years of marriage.”

Farlan pouts like a child and Eren grins seeing how they tease each other.

“Eren, hope you don’t mind Levi is here. He would’ve stayed all weekend in his coffin otherwise” Isabel declares with a serious face, making Levi narrow his eyes and retort:

“Eren, hope you don’t believe Isabel, she’s always talking nonsense.”

Eren does a shitty job trying to refrain his laugh, Levi notices while Farlan approaches him with a fake menacing look plastered on his face and growls:

“Did you say something about my wife, Ackerman?”

Levi senses the challenge and emphasizes:

“Eren, have you noticed how many times a day Farlan underlines the fact that Isabel is his wife? Like dude, chill, no one wants to steal such a brat away from you.”

At this Eren can’t keep himself together anymore and barks a laugh, the sound filling Levi’s ears. It’s the innocent laugh of a child, genuine, making Eren’s mouth wide, his teeth like pearls sparkling in the afternoon sun.

_“What a beautiful kid” _Levi thinks, not paying attention to Isabel’s comeback after the teasing.

They want to keep on going, but Ymir, Historia and Hitch arrive and they present themselves to Levi. After the introduction and a little bit more teasing, they set the picnic blankets Isabel bought under a tree and start picking the food from one big basket (also brought by Isabel).

The park is full with families, teenagers and some old couples, but it’s big enough not to feel overwhelmed by the crowd. They settled on a little hill known as the perfect picnic spot in the whole park, all of them admiring the beautiful view over the lake while they take the first bites from Isabel’s delicious sandwiches.

Now and then Levi gives Eren discreet side glances, noticing how expressive he is in everything he does – from munching his tuna sandwich to sipping in his coke or talking about the way you can paint the view over the lake in watercolor. He also gets along with the girls, joking innocently with Historia or fighting back Ymir’s teasing, with well placed observations and cute grimaces. Levi is very well aware of the fact that this sudden fascination for Eren is dangerous and that he has never been in such a position before, but he knows he can’t help himself.

When it’s time for the dessert Levi brings the macarons boxes, receiving all kinds of “ooohhhs” and “aaaahhhs” after he opens them. The macarons have that crude green matcha shade, but they taste good – not too sweet, not too bitter, the balance between the crust and the cream making their taste buds jump in excitement. Eren is completely fascinated by the fact that Levi visited Japan, his eyes shining in unspoken curiosities.

After they indulge in the taste of the macarons, Farlan, Isabel, Ymir and Historia decide it’s time for a good volleyball match, while Hitch offers to take the role of the referee.

“Eren doesn’t play because he completely sucks” Farlan teases before leaving “take care of him, Levi.”

At that Eren blushes a bit, a part of Levi feeling completely ecstatic that he has some time (for nothing more than getting to know the kid better, of course).

“Are you that bad, kid?” Levi asks him.

“Well, I killed two balls, hitting them so hard that they flew in the lake. The last time, however, I hit a kid in his nape – he fell and scratched his nose pretty bad and since then Isabel doesn’t let me play.”

Levi tries to hide his smile:

“I see”.

For a while they sit in silence, Eren’s eyes glancing over the lake and the people that walk around, play or eat on the hill.

“So, you’re an art student, huh?” Levi observes, making Eren shift his entire attention on him.

He scratches his nape while he answers:

“Yeah, I paint mainly in watercolor and acrylics.”

Levi takes a mental note – that explains why the boy had that vivid green in his hair the last time he saw him.

“And charcoal?”

“Bleah!” Eren replies “charcoal is messy. Nope, I don’t like that.”

Levi snorts:

“Charcoal is messy? You do realize you have pink paint on the hair from your nape, right?”

At that Eren’s eyes widen in embarrassment and his hand flies behind the back of his head. He groans:

“Jesus..where?”

Levi takes his hand and guides him on that place that Eren scratched earlier, helping him feel the strands of hair that are glued together by paint:

“Right here” Levi points out, a part of his brain registering how soft Eren’s skin is.

The boy puffs and pulls the strands of hair:

“Jesus, I’ll go bald in this rhythm. It’s so hard to take this thing out of my hair. If it dries it’s a nightmare.”

Levi clicks his tongue, his voice showing his amusement when he speaks:

“Why pink, though?”

Eren turns completely to him, sitting his chin on his knees:

“I’m working on a paint with some sakuras – if you came back from Japan you know how they are.”

Levi nods, then an idea crosses his mind:

“I have some pictures on my phone. For reference, if you want.”

Eren blinks then smiles widely:

“Yes, I’d love to see them.”

Levi fishes his phone from the pocket of his jeans and comes a bit closer to Eren, scrolling through his gallery and pointing details and colors here and there. Eren’s hair smells like something sweet, chocolate or coconut, Levi isn’t sure, but it’s grateful to the breeze that brought him the scent. Eren sometimes zooms on the images where the sakura trees are in full bloom, explaining to Levi which parts are harder to draw and why.

“Why did you go to Japan, Levi?” he asks suddenly.

“I went there for a piano concert” Levi says, figuring out by now that Eren doesn’t know who he is. It’s not like he is a big star or something, but he knows how people react when they truly know how popular he is. But Eren, he was completely natural all day, laughing freely and asking Levi questions that suggested he was just curious as a child and nothing more. And Levi likes that – that part of Eren that is genuine, free, that doesn’t act around him in a certain way just because he is _the Levi Ackerman._

“What did you like the most?” Eren shots again another question, this time turning his eyes on Levi and scanning his face, as if he’d like to catch all the emotions that flew through Levi during his trip.

At first he doesn’t know how to answer, mainly because it’s the first time someone that is not Hanji or Isabel or Farlan or Petra asks him something so close to the personal spectrum of things.

“The people, I guess. Polite, disciplined, but it the same time, in a weird way, warm.”

Eren smiled and nodded:

“Yeah, I heard it’s different out there.”

“You’ve never been to Japan, isn’t it?”

“No” Eren says “I’d love to, but right now it’s impossible.”

Levi notices how he seems sad saying those words, as if he’d be sure he’ll never get there.

“You’ll get there, kid. You’re young, wait a bit.”

Eren grimaced at that and pointed out:

“You got there and you’re not that old.”

Levi tilted his head:

“I am pretty much sure you assume I’m younger than I truly am.”

“Pfff, nonsense” Eren teases and Levi narrows his eyes:

“Shoot then. How old do you think I am?”

Eren seems to ponder a bit, then answers cockily:

“24”.

Levi snorts:

“Not even close – 27.”

Eren’s eyes grow wider:

“You’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

“I thought you’re Isabel’s age. Are you sure you’re 27?” Eren jokes and Levi nudges his knee with his.

“I’m just older than you, not retarded to forget my own age, brat.”

Eren snorts, then something settles on his face. Levi sees it – it’s another thing that Eren wants to asks, but he’s not sure he should. His aquamarine eyes move between Levi’s shoes and his teal Converses and he fumbles with the laces of the shoes.

“Shoot it kid, you look like something is stuck up in your ass.”

Eren jolts a bit at the crude comment, then scratches his nape:

“No, it’s ok. I mean, it’s not…it’s something personal. I don’t want to seem li-“

“Just ask, Eren” Levi interrupts his rambling.

Eren bits his lower lip and gives Levi an innocent look:

“I was wondering if you’re married or something…because you’re older than Isabel…”

Levi snorts at that:

“All that fuss for nothing. I’m not married, nor I have someone now.”

_For the last part – smooth Levi, again, fucking smooth._

“Oh” Eren retorts, fixing his shoes again. Levi could swear he sees the boy’s cheek going pink, but the others return and they change the subject.

Around 6 PM Eren tells them he has to go back home, especially because it takes him some time to commute. He greets the others, Levi remaining the last. The boy bores his bright orbs into Levi’s eyes:

“Bye, Levi”.

“Bye, Eren”.

An hour later, when Levi tells Farlan that he’ll head home, his friend offers to walk with him to his car. When Levi wants to close the door after he greeted Farlan, the other looks him into the eye and observes:

“I think you should know that Eren is gay. And single.”

Levi frowns and wants to freaking tell Farlan that what he said is out of the blue and it doesn’t make sense, but the look on his childhood friend’s face tells him he should simply take that as what it is: _a tip_.

***

On the way home everything that Eren has in mind is Levi. Levi’s charcoal hair in the sun, Levi’s molten silver eyes in the sun, Levi’s minty scent, Levi’s thin pink lips, Levi’s long delicate fingers, Levi’s alabaster skin.

_Goddamnit! WAKE THE FUCK UP, EREN! He’s sooooo out of your league!!_

When he gets home he opens his laptop and, even if it’s pretty stupid, types “Levi” on Google’s search bar. He then figures Farlan said his last name, but he can’t remember which one was. Then he sees the suggestions on Google and the first one is “Ackerman”.

Eren clicks. On the right side of the page there are pictures with Levi and his own Wikipedia profile.

_The fuck?!_

Eren clicks on that too and his mouth falls open when Wikipedia tells him:

“_Levi Eliott Ackerman known as Levi Ackerman (born December 25, 1992) (in French: _**ləvi akɛʁmɑ̃**; _in English: _**livaɪ**** ˈækərmən**_) is a French-American pianist and composer. Levi frequently performs throughout Asia (mainly Japan and South Korea) and Europe. His alma mater at Juilliard School helped him gain the European popularity and recognition, however, he achieved a bigger success in Japan and South Korea, where in the last years he has his own concerts and is the main performer in their classical music festivals. _

_In 2012, one year after his debut in Japan, the tickets from his concert at Tokyo Metropolitan Theatre were sold completely in less than half a minute, making Levi the most popular non-asian pianist in Japan._

_He began playing piano at the age of 7 and moved from Paris to Marley in USA when he was 14, in 2005, to study at the “King Reiss High School of Music”._

_He has dual citizenship, both French and American_.”

Eren lets out a long breath and keeps reading:

“_Biography:_

_Levi Ackerman was born in Paris and educated in USA. There aren’t any details about his childhood in France, except the fact that he studied at home in his primary school years, with private teachers._

_He moved to Marley along with his uncle, Kenny Ackerman, known as the owner of the popular French restaurant “Le Titan” to attend high school. Graduating from “King Reiss High School of Music” as a valedictorian in 2009 he completed his musical studies with a major in composition at Juilliard._

_In his interviews he avoids talking about his family or his life before the departure to America. _

_In 2013 he released his most popular album – “Wings of Freedom” – which helped him gain the Asian popularity.”_

Still dumbfounded Eren opens a Youtube page and types “Levi Ackerman concert in Japan” clicking on “Levi Ackerman – Concert – Tokyo Metropolitan Theatre – 2019” which is the most recent video he can find. The angle of the camera shows first the public – the immense hall of the theatre full of people, then the stage where it’s a big concert piano and an empty chair. Then the lights go a bit low and Levi comes from one corner of the stage, wearing a white shirt and black slacks, outfit similar to the one he was wearing the first time Eren saw him. He asks for a microphone and greets the public in Japanese, receiving a round of applause. Then he sits before the piano, waits for a second or two, breathing in, then out, then the moment his fingers touch the keys of the piano Eren’s heartbeats go faster. It’s like in that mere second something in the air shifted and Levi pulled the entire room in another universe. Eren doesn’t recognize the song, probably it’s Levi’s [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7maJOI3QMu0), but it makes his insides jump around, something from the deepest parts of his soul coming to surface. After 3 minutes of listening Eren closes the page and stares back at the computer screen, completely numb.

Levi, that Levi he joked and laughed with today, is a piano prodigy, a star….is this bad? No, of course not, it’s amazing, it’s great..but everything makes Levi so _out of Eren’s league. _ Like completely out of Eren’s league. If he had a hope, a fragile little speck of dust of hope, now it’s completely gone.

Plus Levi is French!! French!!

Eren’s mind is running around, more and more questions and curiosities about the pianist coming into light, two of them making him itch:

  1. How it feels to listen to Levi live?
  2. How does he sounds when he speaks French?

Eren snorts: that is completely stupid and immature of him. What a stupid kid he is. Stupid and delusional. He sighs and looks at the clock – freaking middle of the night. He starts biting one of his nails and goes back to the Google search, clicking on “Images” and scrolling through the pictures with Levi.

_Only tonight…_

Sunday he wakes up late, still thinking about the things he discovered the previous night. A part of him starts admiring Levi not just because he is successful, but because when he talked to Eren nothing showed he was basically a star. He was humble, patient, even crude sometimes, but Eren liked it, he was drown to Levi. He was genuine, raw, funny, a fascinating mix between finesse and the typical behavior of the middle class men. Eren couldn’t exactly describe how Levi was, but he knew he was attracted to him. He was like a vice or a walking contradiction – Eren knew he should stay away, but he couldn’t.

Around noon he focuses on finishing his sakura painting, remembering what he saw in Levi’s pictures. After 4 hours he is exhausted, covered in paint and sweaty, but he is pleased with the final result. He takes a picture of his work, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he’ll have the chance to show Levi.


	4. Crème Brûlée

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Saturday is on with Chapter 4 :D  
Be careful -there is some angst and mild violence in this one.  
Btw, the song that Levi plays it's actually form "Yuri on Ice" but I thought it was suitable for my story and for what Levi feels.  
Enjoy and don't forget to comment/leave kudos/bookmark :D You know I love feedback.  
Have a nice week!

Levi can’t sleep. It 2 fucking AM in the morning, Sunday and he can’t sleep. The moment he closes his eyes all he can see is a pair of aquamarine eyes, shining in the golden light of the sun and, if that wasn’t enough, in his ears he hears Farlan saying over and over again that Eren is “gay and single”. He groans, gets up and drags his feet across the cold floor stopping in front of his piano.

There is this tingling on the tip of his fingers and he knows it’ll go away only if he plays. He sets his phone on the piano, the thing already recording because Levi knows this is one of his frenzies and if he doesn’t record it, he won’t remember the song in the morning. He sits on the chair in front of the piano and cracks his knuckles. He closes his eyes and lets the silence of his apartment take over him, consume him, because only like this, only if silence conquers all when the sound comes it’ll be more powerful.

The moment his fingers touch the keys the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26I1hs1bg3o) starts unraveling on his own, alive and restless, playful and fragile, delicate and untamed. Levi knows right now he doesn’t _play_ the song, he _feels_ it, the same way he just felt Eren’s presence at the team building. Then, there is a part in the melody where he wants to own the song, to possess it, not to be possessed by it. He hits the lower notes, then goes back again to the higher ones and then there is silence. He takes a deep breath in – the prickling sensation from the tip of his fingers in now gone, consumed in the notes of the song he knows he’ll have to decipher tomorrow morning by listening to the recording on his phone.

He closes the recording app, looks at the time and heads back to his bedroom, falling in deep sleep…

Only to be awoken hours later by the repetitive annoying bang in his front door. He groans and gets up – someone will die today and it’ll be a slow and painful end.

He walks to the door and opens it, making Hanji jolt on the other side.

“Wow, Peanut, you look awful”.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Hanji?!” Levi growls, his eyes throwing fire.

Hanji frowns and purses her lips:

“Uhmm, remember when you invited me to come today to have a cup of tea at your place? Friday?”

Levi opens his mouth, ready to snarl at Hanji and tell her he never did such a thing, when the realization hits him, finally. He clenches his jaw, inhales and then lets Hanji in. While she marches to his kitchen she gives him a side glance and asks with prudence:

“Rough night? You look like you haven’t slept for years.”

Levi goes behind the kitchen counter to make a coffee, while he explains:

“Went to bed late last night.”

While he says that he remembers the song and the urge to play it, along with the fact that the named song is _entirely inspired_ by Eren, an art student, a total stranger that Levi is obsessed with. He groans making Hanji throw him an amused look:

“Peanut, the hell is wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Liar. It’s 1 PM in a Sunday morning, you slept too much, you forgot that you invited me to your place and you look like you have the most terrible hangover ever, but you don’t drink.”

Levi frowns at her – Hanji is probably the only one who can read him that well, except his uncle Kenny. He knows he won’t be able to get away from Hanji’s pestering if he doesn’t offer some sort of explanation:

“I played the piano until 2 AM….”

“Creative frenzy again?” Hanji inquires and Levi nods, handing her the cup with coffee.

“Can I hear it?” she pushes and Levi goes to his bedroom and comes back with his phone, his own mind curious about how the entire thing that kept him awake sounds like. He hits play, both of them staring at the device as the notes start to fill the air.

As the song unfolds, Levi fixes Hanji and Hanji fixes Levi and he reads on her face exactly what is in his mind, as he listens to his own song – it’s breathtaking, it’s beautiful, it has some sort of melancholy in it and it’s too good to remain forgotten between the many similar files on Levi’s phone.

“Levi” Hanji breathes “this is..this is a masterpiece…”.

Levi’s eyebrows arch in disbelief – is it? He thinks most probably the song is the proof of his madness, especially because he knows who inspires it.

Hanji clears her throat in an attempt to catch Levi’s attention and, with intrusive eyes scanning Levi’s face, she observes:

“Whatever made you create this is very powerful, Levi. Be careful.”

It’s one of those things Hanji says with a subtext, it’s something hidden within and she rarely says that. Usually she is damn straightforward, to the point she has no filter whatsoever, but this time Levi senses both the concern and the warning in Hanji’s words. And she might be right, because she knows Levi since they were in high school, knows how Levi doesn’t express himself well, except through music and _this_, Levi thinks, this is something that is fucked up entirely.

***

Monday at the cracks of dawn Eren feels hopeless. It hit him the moment he opened his eyes, one hour before he set the alarm. It hit him because, for some reason, life shoved in his face another thing he can’t have, and he knows he can’t have Levi.

His states of mind were always in a constant roller coaster, but in the last year it got more and more difficult to find a balance. And then it was this weekend, those limited hours in which he was not Eren, the gay disappointment of his father, but Eren the brat student in his first year in art school with pink paint dried in his hair. He was Eren who talked to Levi, teased him and explained him how difficult is actually to paint sakuras, even if it seems so damn simple.

But then he had to come back in his small apartment and now is Monday and life goes on. He groans and runs his fingers through his hair. Along with the bad mood - he has a headache which will probably stick around the entire day. He gets up and goes to the bathroom to take a shower, inhaling deeply and preparing himself for another week.

At Maria Hospital he realizes again it’s impossible to take the bus and he has to walk to Sina. He rummages in his backpack for his earphones when someone grabs him by the nape and pushes him to the ground.

Completely taken by surprise, he’s ready to curse but soon realizes the one who did that to him was his father.

Grisha Jaeger left Munchen when he was 18, coming to USA to become a doctor. He got married here only to obtain the citizenship and not going back to his family in Germany, that family that expected him to become a successful doctor. He did become a doctor, but not a successful one, receiving a job in a small and forbidden town named Shiganshina. Then his son was born and he had to provide for him and he hated the idea and the fact that there was no way out of this. Except the moments when he’d neutralize any kind of feeling or regret by drinking a glass of vodka and another and another and then letting his frustration out there to be heard by his wife and that little snotty kid.

He doesn’t remember when he started to hit his wife and let the anger control him, but he doesn’t care.

But Eren does. Now fallen on the pavement in a Monday morning before “Maria Hospital” he gapes at his father’s face twisted in anger and remembers he was 7 when his big calloused palm hit the face of his mother, then grabbed his hair and shoved him aside. And starting that moment he remembers vividly all the other times that came, all the punches, curses, hits, broken windows and glasses, screams and tears. And he hates himself because he can’t find the power to get the hell back on his feet and punch this man back in his face.

“What the fuck are you doing here?! I told you I don’t want to see you ever again?!” Grisha spits at him.

Eren clenches his jaw and answers:

“This is a public place-“ he can’t keep going because Grisha grabs him by the collar of his hoodie and shoves him on the ground again, this time with more force, then a feet hits him in his stomach and ribs. He gasps in pain and hears the security guard of the hospital approaching and asking Grisha what’s going on.

“Not much, but this prick ran into me and didn’t even bother to say sorry” he explains, voice now changed into a calm and collected tone “I guess I snapped too” he adds, excusing himself.

The security guard frowns, not convinced because Grisha seems too calm now when two seconds ago was ready to step on Eren and Eren looks too broken on the pavement, his clothes crumpled, backpack fallen and his hands around his stomach.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave, sir” the security guard says with prudence “this is a Hospital and you might scare the patients”.

Grisha swallows and nods, throwing Eren a deathly look before turning around. The security guard approaches Eren and he is pretty sure round two comes next, but the man reaches out and pulls him on his feet:

“Come on, kid, get up. Are you alright?”

Eren blinks and tries to hide the pain in his ribs:

“I’m fine, I…”

“I know you didn’t run into him” the security guard says “he is a doctor who comes here often to convince the hospital to give him a job and they keep saying no. He made a scene in one of the offices”.

_Probably being completely shitfaced _Eren adds in his mind and fixes his backpack on his shoulders:

“Thank you, sir” he says simply and the security guard gives him a lopsided smile:

“Don’t let this ruin your day” he says and goes back in the building.

Eren touches one of his ribs and winces in pain: the day _is in fact ruined_ and he is completely late.

He can’t move properly all day and the spot where he took the blow starts pulsing – he suspects a bruise is forming and probably he is in pain because it’s the side with the ribs that were broken last year.

After classes, when he goes to “Croquant” Historia isn’t behind the counter. Ymir greets him with a flirty wink:

“Hey, Jaeger!”

“Where’s Historia?”

“Remember how I kept telling her on Saturday not to wear only that sexy crop top and she insisted to wear it anyway? Well, she got flu and she had fever.”

“Bad girlfriend, huh?” Eren jokes, wincing when he leans in to put his backpack down. Ymir chocolate eyes inspect him:

“Are you ok?”

He nods and goes to take his apron and get to work.

Around six it’s starts raining with big fat droplets and Eren sighs because this was a fucking shitty day. The headache he had this morning returned, only now it seems to him it’s ten times stronger. He clenches his fingers on the edge of the counter and opens his mouth to let out a curse when Levi enters, followed by a loud women with a ponytail and black rimmed glasses.

_Shit! _Eren thinks, trying to recompose himself and forget the fact that he was ready to jump in the wagon of self loathing.

Levi approaches the counter and for a second Eren is breathless because he looks like a model with his hair out of his face, slicked back messily, most probably because of the rain. He wears slacks again and a black cardigan over his white shirt and Eren is pretty sure he lost one or two brain cells in the seconds Levi arrived before the counter.

“Hi, brat” he greets, his stormy eyes fixing Eren.

“Hi, Levi” he replies thinking that he looks like a fucking star because he actually _is _ a fucking star.

“Can you give me a green tea and crème brûlée?”

The wish Eren had, to hear Levi speaking in French for once, is finally fulfilled, only it leaves Eren weirdly aroused and kinda frustrated because Levi sounds damn sexy in French and obviously the entire thing doesn’t help Eren at all.

_Jesus Jeager, for fucking Christ!!_

Somehow, _he doesn’t know how_, he manages to make Levi the drink and give him the food without spilling everything everywhere.

While Levi reaches to take the tray from Eren’s shaky hands he asks:

“Eren, are you ok?”

_No, I’m not ok. My father treated me like shit today in the middle of the street and I have a shitty life. I haven’t seen my mother in a year, haven’t eaten anything today and my ribs hurt, but what hurts even more is my heart. Can you save me, Levi?_

“I’m fine. Just a bit tired.”

Levi looks around the coffee shop – he and Hanji and two other girls who are chatting are the only customers. He turns to Eren, eyes carefully scanning his face:

“If you want to take a break, you can sit with us.”

Eren ponders – should he torture himself with a little chit-chat around this handsome, internationally well known pianist? Of course he should, Eren is in secret a damn masochist – this is why he lived with his father for so long.

He answers:

“I think I really need a break.”

As they approach the table the woman waiting for Levi starts smiling:

“Ahh, finally Peanut. Who’s your friend?”

“Hanji, this is Eren, Eren this is my old friend Hanji, also known as Shitty Glasses”.

The woman grins at Eren and reaches to shake his hand:

“Hi, Eren. Nice to meet you. How come you know the vampire Levi?”

Levi gives her an annoyed look and sips in his tea:

“Uhmm, I don’t think he’s that bad if by vampire you meant to..insult him” Eren blurts out, letting Hanji speechless for a second.

“He’s not that bad? Oh my God, Peanut, where did you find this rare diamond?” Hanji shrieks, making Eren frown a bit. He tries to focus on something on the table and realizes his vision is kinda blurry for a second.

“Hanji, you’re freaking going to let him deaf!!” Levi growls at her and Eren tries to pay attention to what they say.

“What do you study, Eren?” Hanji inquires, taking a full spoon from her crème brûlée.

“Art, at Sina. First year.”

“That’s great. You paint?”

“Yeah” Eren says “actually, Levi, I finished the sakura trees thing” he adds, picking his phone from the front pocket of his apron and searching for the picture. He hands the phone to Levi who raised a curious eyebrow. He takes the phone and watches Eren’s work and Eren can’t figure out if he’s impressed or he tries to hide the fact that the paint is complete shit. Hanji hunches over Levi’s shoulder, her eyes growing wider:

“Wooooow, Eren, this is amazing. What’s this? Paint?”

Eren feels encouraged by her reaction and nods:

“Yes. The background is watercolor, the flowers and the house is in acrylic. His eyes bore into Levi’s – he still hasn’t said anything, only observing Eren, but now he gives him his phone back, saying:

“It looks like a masterpiece, brat” and Eren melts.

***

Levi gets into his car and starts the engine. Hanji gives him a strange look as if she’s seeing Levi for the first time.

“Eren is…a very interesting kid, I must say” Hanji observes and Levi’s eyes snap towards her.

“Hanji” he growls the warning because he knows that, by now, Hanji figured out who was the muse of the piano song.

Hanji clasps her mouth shut, knowing that pushing further is no good.

Levi drives in silence after he dropped Hanji at her apartment. Eren didn’t look good..he thinks he must rephrase that: he looked good, but also tired and Levi could swear he saw him grimacing in pain or looking like he lost it in the middle of their talk. Maybe he was exhausted by school and his job, Levi remembers his first year at Juilliard was the same.

Or maybe it was something else. In a way he is glad that he doesn’t know Eren enough to figure the origins of his distress, but in the same time he hates that they aren’t close enough to do that. He likes the brat’s smile and he didn’t smile much today.

They don’t meet for the entire week and Levi hates to admit that he hates that, until Friday the next week when he spots Eren’s chocolate hair on the alleys of Sina, probably heading to “Croquant”. He catches up with him and pats his shoulder:

“Hi, brat!”

Eren turns to him a bit startled and then immediately smiles. He looks better than the last time Levi saw him:

“Hey, Levi. Haven’t seen you around “Croquant” lately.”

“Got a pile of shit to do as a teacher at Sina.”

Eren frowns, then stutters:

“Y-you teach at Sina?”

“Yes. Every year from April until the end of the semester. Why?”

“You never told me” Eren observes, scowling.

Levi tries to hide his amusement:

“I’ve never knew I should’ve.”

Eren bits his lip and shakes his head:

“No..I…I didn’t mean to.. you know sound like you should’ve told me.”

Levi shoves his hands in the pockets of his jacket (is cold again, freaking April) and fixes Eren as he speaks:

“Would it matter to you? If I told you more things about myself, I mean”. He doesn’t know why he let those words out, but now they are simply out there and it’ll be hard to take them back. And if Eren could give him an answer or something to make things..not so….complicated and vague….

The boy halts his steps, his bright eyes fixing Levi. The breeze ruffles his wild hair and brings his sweet scent in Levi’s lungs. He fidgets with the zipper of his hoodie for a while, looking adorable and innocent and then speaks in an almost trembling voice:

“Would you tell me more if it mattered?”

_Freaking kid making things more fucked up than they are. _Of course Eren had to answer a question with another question, letting Levi decide where to go. And Levi is pissed off in a way because yes, he is the adult and he should take the reins of whatever this discussion is, and no, he shouldn’t because right now he’s not responsible at all and he’ll venture blindly on a mined ground.

“Maybe” Levi whispers, indulging in their little staring competition and taking in Eren’s beautiful features, his aquamarine eyes, his long lashes that flatter when he gets embarrassed, his bushy brows and that sculpted jaw line.

Eren is the one who gives up, starting to walk again towards “Croquant” while Levi punches himself mentally for most probably crossing the line. Eren is young, for God’s sake, young and beautiful!! He doesn’t need someone like Levi who has a life that is more than complicated: concerts, charity stuff, composer frenzies, let’s not talk about his past. Still, Levi can’t help but asks himself, while he watches Eren’s broad shoulders moving as he walks, how would it feel to actually _have_ Eren in his life.

When they get to the coffee shop, Levi doesn’t come in. Eren turns to him in expectation:

“Aren’t you coming in? I’ll make you an Americano.”

Levi smirks and explains:

“I just walked you here, brat. I need to go back to school.”

Eren deflates, it seems, lips pounting and Levi can’t help the way his heart is pushing him to touch Eren, to hug him or to do something to make him smile again. However, he does any of that, simply saying:

“Bye, Eren.”

Eren raises his eyes and the corners of his mouth go up in a timid smile:

“Bye, Levi.”

Levi turns around and head back to school.

In the evening, while he sips from a cup of green tea (that is not as good as Eren’s) someone knocks on his door and he’s pretty sure is either Hanji or Kenny.

It turns out is his uncle with a bottle of whisky and two greasy McDonald’s hamburgers.

“Good evening, mister Ackerman, may I make your Friday evening a little less boring?” Kenny jokes while Levi lets him enter his apartment.

“Kenny, you know I don’t drink” Levi observes as his uncle heads to the kitchen counter.

“Spare me of your shitty excuses, Levi. When your favorite uncle comes and asks you for a drink you have to say yes” Kenny retorts, teeth showing in a mischievous grin.

Levi sighs and sits at the kitchen table while his uncle moves naturally around, taking some glasses and plates for their food. Levi knows he can’t say no to Kenny.

His uncle disposes his hat and long coat on one of the chairs and sits near Levi, pouring whisky in their glasses and handing him the hamburger.

“So, tell me how is your life lately?” he asks, opening the wrapper of his hamburger and taking a full mouth.

Levi does the same, thinking that the next morning he’ll have to run more because he ate this shit:

“Normal, I guess.”

“Means boring. You’re young, you should fuck more.”

Levi grimaces, not at the crude comment but at the idea that even his uncle knows he has 0 sexual life.

“I’m not a whore” he replies, making Kenny snort:

“I didn’t say you should follow my sister’s example, I just said you should find someone to enjoy your youth with. If it’s not for a night, than for more. But find someone, Levi.”

Kenny takes his glass and drinks a bit of whisky, while Levi ponders if he should tell his uncle about Eren or not.

He drinks from his whiskey too, grimacing at the way it burns his throat and stomach and says:

“I found someone, it’s just…the entire situation is fucked up”.

Kenny clicks his tongue:

“Now we talk. Woman or man?”

Levi smirks – Kenny gave 0 fucks about his sexuality. He even supported him when he found out that he was not only into girls at 18, which helped Levi a lot.

“Man, boy actually. Don’t worry, he’s not underage” he added when his uncle quirked an eyebrow.

“But there is a problem” Kenny pointed “something is holding you back.”

Levi lets his fingers run through his bangs while Kenny steel eyes follows him closely.

“Yes and no.. I mean I’m pretty fucked up by this kid, but I don’t know if… I want to pursue _that_ with everything that means.”

Kenny shoves a hand in the pocket of his shirt and pulls out a cigarette and a lighter. A thin thread of smoke flows in the air as Kenny inhales:

“Please tell me you’re not still bitchy about that shitface – what was his name Irwin or whatever – that ruined your relationship with that cute girl 10 years ago.”

Levi groans – it is and it’s not about that:

“Firstly, his name was Erwin. Secondly, it doesn’t have any connection with him, but right now I have a career and a name and I can’t just fuck with anyone.”

Kenny gives him a defiant look and lets out more smoke:

“You just said this kid is not anyone because you’re fucked up and I know you’re not fucked up by any man. What’s his name?”

“Eren” Levi says, thinking of those beautiful eyes “he made me go into a frenzy” he adds, making Kenny’s eyes sparkle with interest. He gets up and heads to the living room, telling Levi:

“Now I am curious. I want to hear it.”

Levi follows him, his glass half empty. He puts it on the piano while Kenny sits aside directly in the rug. Levi breathes in, closes his eyes, opens them and starts following the notes on the sheet while his fingers dance across the keys. Kenny finishes his cigar and watches Levi with sharp eyes. When Levi ends playing the song Kenny nods pensively and declares in his raspy voice:

“You’re indeed fucked up by this Eren, but my advice is to pursue his ass. You don’t know where this may lead you and if this is about your image as a pianist you should give 0 fucks about that. The way you play the piano has nothing to do with who you fuck. Or in this case it might, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.”

Levi frowns at his uncle. Sometimes Kenny is extremely annoying because he’s right.


	5. Crêpes and lemonade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Another Saturday, another chapter :D in this one we find out more about Levi's past. :D Hope you'll like it.  
Don't forget to give feedback - I'd love to know your opinion.^_^  
Have a nice week!

When Monday comes Eren wakes up feeling helpless again. He thinks about Levi, about the way he looked at Eren on Friday and walked him to the coffee shop. He thinks of Levi steel eyes that hide so many unspoken things, some of them making Eren so curious he thinks he’s gonna burst. He thinks of Levi playing the piano in all those videos he saw on Youtube, of the way when his slender fingers touch the white and black keys, he looks as if he comes from another world only to mesmerize the people who have the chance to see him playing live.

And then, Eren thinks about himself. About his own insignificant existence, about his wreck of a family, about the fact that his own father basically abused him on the street and treated him as if he’d be a cockroach. He thinks about himself and how broken he feels every day, how _left behind_ he feels. He looks sometimes at Armin when they hang out together and wonders how does it feel to not worry about anything. Armin is smiling all the time, even when things get nasty. He is always positive, always taking chances, always trying to see if he can make it, doesn’t matter what opportunity he takes. Even with Annie, Eren knows Armin wasn’t sure, but he took the chance, asked her out and now they look like they could get married any moment and not be bothered by the idea of marriage.

Eren can’t think about these things, can’t picture himself with someone forever, and not because he doesn’t want that, but because he feels like no one would _want_ him – an art student in his first year with an emotional baggage so big that he doesn’t know how to move forward. A boy so broken he can’t become a man, even if he knows he got to the age where other boys have become men already. Eren feels like he can’t find his place, doesn’t matter how much he’d try. His heart is too afraid to try, too afraid to take chances because Eren knows he is strong, but he’s not _that_ strong anymore. Somewhere along the way all the words that his father threw at him, all those years of pain caught up with him, finally making his heart bleed, finally making him weak and unable to fight, to overcome the obstacles in his life.

However, he gets up and goes to school and then to “Croquant” and tries to enjoy how much he can the company of Isabel and Farlan and Historia.

Thursday Armin waits for him when he finishes classes to have lunch together. They go to a Pizza Hut near Sina and order a big Margherita because Armin doesn’t eat meat.

He looks fresh, smiling sheepishly as he tells Eren how Annie convince him to cut his hair shorter. The new fringe falls on his forehead, the golden strands in contrast with his cerulean eyes, that now scan Eren’s face with concern:

“Eren, are you ok?”

Eren frowns:

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Armin’s lips form a thin line and he says in a low voice, close to a whisper:

“Eren, you look sad…all the time.”

Something twists in Eren stomach – he thought that his pain is not visible, that he concealed everything in childish grins and humour, but he realizes now he can’t fool Armin. He inhales and fixes his Coke glass. The bubbles are fizzing near his straw:

“I…I don’t know what to tell you, Armin.”

He raises his eyes and notices how Armin studies him, the blue shade in his orbs now a bit darker:

“You know you can talk to me… about anything.”

And Eren knows, of course he knows, because Armin was there one year ago when he had no place to go to. Armin’s grandfather helped him and gave him money for the loan until he found the job at “Croquant”. Armin and his grandfather were with him at the hospital, Armin saw the bruises on his body and his red rimmed eyes. Armin did so many things for him and Eren doesn’t want to disappoint him and to tell him that he is not ok. He doesn’t want that – he wants to be the friend that Armin needs, he wants to be that Eren that he knows he’ll never be. For Armin, for the sake of their friendship. So he doesn’t tell Armin that he misses his mum, that he hasn’t seen her in an year because he was too afraid he’ll end up with more than some broken ribs. He doesn’t tell him that his mother didn’t call either, probably for the same reason he didn’t try to contact her. Instead, he goes the other way around, he puts on the table another card, one that it’s not as important as his sufferance, but it still makes him a friend:

“Do you know who Levi Ackerman is?”

Armin blinks in confusion and then says:

“The pianist?”

And Eren wants to slap himself – of course Armin knows who Levi is! Armin knows everything. He was the only blockhead who didn’t know that Levi was a star, even if Levi looked like one.

“Yeah, him…I met him.”

Armin’s cerulean orbs grow bigger:

“What?! You met Levi Ackerman?”

Eren ponders if he should tell Armin more or he should shut his mouth. He settles on the former:

“He teaches at Sina and Isabel and Farlan are his childhood friends.”

Armin grins:

“Wow, that’s…unexpected. And great. How is he?”

Before Eren can answer the waiter arrives with their pizza and the discussion is interrupted a bit. After the first bites Eren speaks, still chewing:

“He’s snarky. But not in a bad way. He seems very..warm to me.”

Armin narrows his eyes at “warm”:

“I suppose he looks better in reality, right?” he pushes and Eren knows what Armin implies. He swallows and drinks from his Coke:

“And by that you mean?”

Armin shrugs:

“Nothing…just askin’”.

Eren takes a bite from his pizza and admits:

“He’s hot. Like…_burning _hot.”

Armin nods and smiles at Eren:

“I’m straight and I still agree with you. He is.”

Eren approves and a part of him is happy in a way, because even if everything is fucked up, from time to time there are these moments, these fleeting moments like this one, when Eren is grateful for his friends, for Armin who never judged him and talked to him about men’s asses when Eren told him he is gay. Armin who was not afraid, nor disgusted when he found out that his best friend was swinging the other way. Instead, Armin smiled, told Eren in a warm and calm voice that is ok and started asking Eren what kind of guys he’s into. And Eren blushed and whined like girl, telling Armin he makes him feel weird until Armin snapped and told him that doesn’t matter what Eren is, he is Armin’s best friend and they can talk about anything.

With that in mind and the flutter in his heart Eren is able to go through another week in his life.

***

Levi arrives at the restaurant Petra invited him half an hour earlier. It’s finally May and the rain stopped, the new month of the calendar bringing humidity in the air and higher temperatures.

Levi sits at the table that Petra reserved and picks up his phone, his fingers itching to tap a message in which he’d suggest her to go to a certain coffee shop where he’d meet a certain brunette. He clenches his jaw giving himself some mental punches to stop being a teenager in heat. He orders an Americano (which is not as good as Eren’s, mind you) and waits patiently for Petra.

She arrives half an hour later, her caramel hair shining in the sunlight. As she approaches Levi notices that her belly bump is even more is bigger – she and her husband Oluo are waiting for their little boy to be born in October. Levi is not upset, he’s actually happy that she found someone who can offer her a family and protection, things that Levi couldn’t offer her.

She smiles when she sees Levi and chirps:

“Always too early. I’m your agent, I should’ve come first.”

Levi shrugs:

“It’s not my fault you lose lately the sense of punctuality.”

Petra sticks her tongue out in a mocking grimace, then giggles:

“I’ve missed your sharp tongue. So, tell me, how is teaching?”

Levi waves the waiter to come and bring their menus and sneers:

“This year’s brats are more reckless then last year’s brats. It’s good.”

Petra smiles, taking the menu from the waiter and turning the pages until she gets to Dessert.

“I crave Crêpes in the last time” she tells Levi with an apologetic smile. He snorts:

“Ok, so we’ll have Crêpes and Lemonade? It’s that ok for you?”

She nods and Levi orders. For a while they sit in a comfortable silence until Petra speaks again:

“Paris called. They want you in July for their National Day Classical Music Concert.”

She fixes Levi with her hazel eyes in expectancy. Levi fixes her too, speaking in a calm and sincere voice:

“Petra, I don’t want to go back to Paris. Not yet.”

Petra nods as if she’ll expect his answer and concludes:

“Ok, so we stick to Seoul and Tokyo, then?”

Levi gives her a smirk, grateful that she didn’t pushed him more on the matter.

“Fine” Petra says “I’ll tell Asaya. Also, I was thinking to let him be your agent when I give birth. Is that ok for you?”

The waiter brings their pancakes and lemonade and Levi lets Petra enjoy the first bite of their dessert until he answers:

“Yeah, I bet he’ll get over excited again. He always does that.”

Petra snorts:

“Come on, he’s not that bad. Plus, he enjoys your music.”

“And still acts like an insane fangirl, with the stupid giggling and all, yes” Levi sneers again.

Petra laughs, then adds:

“I’ll tell him to stop that if it bothers you-“.

She stops when Levi dismisses her with a hand:

“No, no. Let him be. How does he says all the time? – “Levi-san, watashi wa anata no saidai no fandesu.[1]”

His tone imitates the cute like sound his Japanese agent makes every time he confesses like that to Levi and Petra almost spits her lemonade seeing his friend mocking Asaya:

“Jesus, Levi”. Then for some reason her smile turns into something nostalgic, and then turns again into hesitation. Levi notices and narrows his eyes:

“Is it something wrong Petra, are you sick?”

Petra blushes immediately and shakes her head:

“Oh no, I’m fine. I haven’t had morning sickness in a while now. It’s….something else.”

Levi takes the last bite from his crêpe, chews, swallows and tells Petra:

“We’ve known each other since I was a fucking annoying teenager. I think I can take anything you have to tell me.”

Petra finishes her dessert too, leans in her chair and takes her bag. She picks up her phone, searching for something and then handing the device to Levi with a grave look and a tense line on her lips.

Levi frowns and takes the phone. The photo is obviously taken in a supermarket and shows a tall man with his cart near the vegetable section. The light blonde hair and the wide line of the shoulders, all of them too familiar for Levi, make him immediately clench his teeth.

“Why the fuck do you have a picture with this shithead in your phone?” he growls.

Petra taps the edge of the table with her pale pink nails and explains:

“This was taken in a Target three days ago” she takes a breath and avoids Levi eyes on purpose, fixing her lemonade instead as she murmurs “he’s in Marley, Levi.”

Levi follows the movement of her eyes and gives her the phone:

“It doesn’t matter. This city is big enough for both of us.”

Why Erwin is back in Marley after all these years, Levi doesn’t know and he doesn’t care. Erwin is nothing to him now and it’s no reason for him to search for Levi. Like ever, so he inhales and try to release the sudden tension in his chest:

“Don’t worry, Petra. I’ll avoid him if we meet by chance.”

Petra exhales in frustration:

“I really don’t know why that man is back. I thought he left for Sweden to get married with that model or whatever she was.”

Levi shrugs:

“Again, who the fuck cares?! He’s nothing to us” – the look Petra gives him, half concerned, half telling him something doesn’t seem right to her makes Levi tense again and he adds “Petra, listen to me, avoid the motherfucker too if you see him, do you understand? I don’t want him near you.”

Petra’s concerned look doesn’t go away, but she nods and gives Levi a lopsided smile:

“Yes, Levi. Understood.”

On the way home, while he drives his car as if he’d be on autopilot, Levi thinks of Erwin. He shouldn’t give that man a place in his mind, but he does anyway. Because, just as Petra’s worried eyes suggested, something wasn’t right. A man like Erwin doesn’t do anything based on coincidence, Levi knows that very well.

When he was in high school, he simply thought the meeting with Erwin was a happy accident, a little thing based on luck and nothing more. And he kept thinking like that until the first sip in his drink, in a hotel room, in the company of the same blond hot agent of his. When the room started spinning Levi realized how naïve he was, because with Erwin nothing was actually accidental. He fainted because of the drug with the thought in mind that at least he wouldn’t be conscious when the rape happened – if this was the case. Erwin could have also killed him and it made no difference for Levi. He still couldn’t protect himself.

He woke up the next morning in his bed and was greeted by an angry and caustic Kenny, who was hurling at him how irresponsible he was. Petra was the one who called his uncle after Erwin sent her the picture with him and Levi naked in bed. She was hurt, still, something didn’t seem right to her. Kenny basically broke the hotel door, punched Erwin until he broke his nose and jaw, threatened him that if he did something to Levi he’d end up with his dick cut in small pieces and took Levi home and then, later that day to the hospital. It’s not necessary to say what a shitty and embarrassing experience was to tell the doctor what happened, to be checked and tested. It was also a big wake up call for Levi, because he realized Erwin _pursued him, manipulated him and used him_ for the sake of an unhealthy obsession and the money he could get from Levi’s talent.

Fortunately, his perfect plan had a little unpredictable flaw, called Kenny Ackerman, who also had an interesting past back in Paris and interesting friends in Marley. Till this day, Levi doesn’t know what Kenny did back then but the thing never got in the media and it ended with Erwin leaving the country for freaking Sweden.

He opens the door of his apartment, pulling his phone in the same time and touching Hanji’s name on the screen.

“Yo, Peanut! What’s up?” she giggles with her usual unnaturally happy tone.

However, Levi is definitely not in the mood for that as he says neutrally:

“Please tell me you didn’t know Erwin fucking Smith is in town.”

There is a pause at the other end of the line, the silence making Levi understand Hanji is processing everything at a slow pace, as if it wouldn’t be real.

“You got to be kidding me” she growls.

“I’m not. Petra saw him in Marley.”

“Son of a bitch” Hanji mutters and Levi can see how she takes off her glasses and presses her fingers on the eyelids “I don’t know what to say. Should we – don’t know – call the freaking police? Call your uncle?”

“I’ll call Kenny, don’t worry. The deal is – avoid him, Hanji. I’m not joking, you see him on the street – you turn around and leave.”

Levi hates that his words sound like an order, but he doesn’t want his friends near that freak.

“Ok, ok” Hanji answers, adding then with a concerned voice “Levi, you should be careful too. You..you know..not just because of _that thing_, but also because of your career.”

Levi clenches his jaw and retorts:

“Yes, I know. Bye.”

“Bye, Peanut” Hanji whispers in a warm tone.

Levi closes the call and taps on his uncle name. Kenny answers immediately, as he always does, the clatter of the restaurant buzzing in the background:

“You already miss your uncle, lad?” he jokes.

Levi snorts:

“Remember that manipulative bastard from years ago, the one who took pictures with young boys naked in hotel rooms? He’s back.”

Kenny doesn’t say anything, just like Hanji, but then Levi hears him cursing:

“Fucking shithead! I’m coming to your apartment” then in the background – probably for one of his employees – “HARRISON! If you fucking mess up another order today I’ll fucking kill ya´. I’m pissed” – then the call ends.

Levi sits on his sofa, the black leather making that squeaking sound under his weight. He fixes the ceiling trying not to think about the past while he waits for his uncle to barge in the apartment.

And Kenny indeed barges in his apartment like a storm, 15 minutes later, fuming and cursing. Levi brings an ashtray and sets it in front of his uncle, while he waits for him to calm down. Kenny lights up a cigarette, inhales deeply, then lets out a thick string of smoke and finally speaks:

“Did you see that shithead?”

“No, Petra did. In a Target, but here in Marley anyway.”

“Fucking shit” Kenny growls, frowning.

“It’s fine, really. I’ll just avoid him” Levi tries to calm his uncle.

“Avoid my ass. I told that shithead to never return here if he cares about his life” Kenny snarls again, setting his cigarette on the edge of the ashtray and taking off his iconic hat.

Levi watches as he runs his bony fingers through his hair and speaks again:

“Seriously, Kenny. You’re not like some sort of mafia lord. I’ll just avoid that motherfucker and that’s all.”

Kenny gives him a look, half mocking, half angry, as if he doesn’t believe Levi can avoid Erwin or even if Erwin is avoidable. He then frowns and takes his cigarette back between his thin lips:

“If that motherfucker even dares to touch you, you tell me and I’ll kill him this time” he says, grey eyes throwing fire.

Levi raises a judgmental eyebrow and teases his uncle:

“I didn’t know you love me that much. I’m flattered.”

Kenny’s look flickers with a menacing light and he warns Levi:

“I didn’t take you out of the slumps of Paris so that, after, a fucking shithead like him touch you.”

Well, it takes Levi by surprise to hear Kenny talking like that. He grew up with the man and he was never affectionate towards Levi, not in that hugs and kisses kind of way, but he taught Levi to be warm with those that matter to him. He smirks at his uncle- maybe, finally, Kenny was getting old.

The matter is not discussed any further and Levi watches from his window as his uncle gets back in his car and heads to the restaurant. It smells like tobacco in the kitchen, a reminiscence for Levi of the days when Kenny used to live with him. Many things changed between them since then and many others are still the same. Levi is not afraid of change, but, he is afraid of the past that comes back, crawling in the present. And Erwin is that sort of piece of the past.

[1] „Levi, I am your biggest fan”.


	6. Blueberry tart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!   
Sorry for being late with this chapter - I was out of town :D  
Enjoy chapter 6 and have a nice week :D  
Btw, next chapter might come up earlier because I'll be out of town again next weekend. I think I might post on Thurdsay.  
Have a nice week ;)

The first weekend of May smells literally like summer. Eren could swear as he pushes his cart in the little supermarket near his studio in Shiganshina that the air is filled with the sweet scent of sun lotion and barbecue. A few more weeks and his first year of university will be over – that’s surprising to Eren. He survived somehow and he actually had fun with Reiner and Bert as his classmates.

Thinking that he should tell Isabel he wants to work at the coffee shop during the summer too, Eren pushes his cart further, near the sweets section, staring at the poor selection of Hershey’s chocolate. He is so focused on choosing something that he notices too late the familiar nude dress of his mother, Carla Jaeger, as she approaches him quietly. Eren jolts when he hears her calling him with a whisper:

“Eren, my dear”.

Eren turns around to her completely, noticing her shorter hair, with a few more strands of white and her chocolate eyes, teary, fixing him.

“M-m-mum!”

He doesn’t care if there are people around or even if his father is around – he jumps in his mother arms, inhaling deeply the well-known scent of lilies and homemade food. His mother slender arms come around his waist and for the first time in a while Eren feels safe, away from the worries of everyday life or his own fears. They stay like that for a while until Eren releases himself gently to scan his mother face for any sign of pain. She looks tired indeed and worried, but he doesn’t notice something else. Maybe he lost his ability to read her in the last time or maybe she’s truly ok.

“I’m fine” she says with a smile, as if she heard his thoughts.

He smiles back, then asks:

“Are you sure? You know you don’t have to lie to me. I’m still your son.”

She frowns:

“Of course you’re still my son! And of course I wouldn’t lie to you. Your father-“ she begins then stops, hesitant, swallowing probably her fears, then going on “-your father is better now. He gets angry sometimes, but not like before” she says. Eren watches the line of Hershey’s again – maybe he is not that bad because Eren is not there anymore. Maybe it was _his_ fault.

Eren inhales and nods:

“Good”. He doesn’t say anything else because he doesn’t know what he could say. Telling his mother he misses her or it’s hard for him and consuming this rare moment in self-loathing and despair seems wrong to him.

“Eren, my dear, are you alright?” Carla asks suddenly, this time analyzing Eren with careful eyes.

Eren nods and answers immediately:

“I’m good.”

“Do you eat well?” she adds, glancing at the contents of his cart. Eren almost hears how she’s taking mental notes of every item he has there and how healthy or unhealthy it is. He snorts at that:

“I’m ok, mum. Stop staring at my groceries.”

Carla raises her chocolate eyes and clicks her tongue:

“I was just making sure you still know that you have to eat vegetables and all” she says.

“If you wanted that maybe you should’ve called me a long time ago” Eren observes coldly, realizing how bad his words sounded like.

Carla gasps, as if the words were like a cold shower for her. Eren sees the pain in her eyes and he wants to smash his head in a wall. He shakes his head:

“I didn’t mean.. that sounded bad and I didn’t mean to…accuse” he wants to finish the sentence, but his mother takes him back in her arms, almost like stopping the stream of uncoordinated words from his mouth.

“I know” she says with a fragile sob “I know and you’re right. But I, I was scared that he might do something to you. So I, I just talked to Grandpa Arlert until you found your studio and then to Pixis. He tells me every month how you are.”

Eren hugs her tighter:

“I’m sorry, mum. I really am. It’s my fault.”

She releases him and asks:

“Why do you think it’s your fault?”

“B-because I, because I am…gay. He wouldn’t have been like that if I was a normal kid.”

Carla’s frown deepens and her voice sounds more harsh now. Eren recognizes with warmth the familiarity of a scolding from his mother:

“Listen to me, Eren Gabriel Jaeger: you are a normal kid and you are a great kid. You can love any man or any woman you want in this world, I’ll never judge you or hate you because you don’t love the person I think you should. So stop thinking or saying those words. And I mean, ever again. The only thing I want from you is to be with someone that loves you too. Do you understand what I say?”

There are tears in the corners of her eyes, but she doesn’t let them fall and Eren nods and promises her not to say those words ever again. Although, he still feels like that.

“You should come home tomorrow. Your father will be all day long in Marley. We can have lunch and I’ll give you some food to take away” Carla says, taking Eren’s hands in hers.

Eren doesn’t know how to answer. He hasn’t been home in a while because he was scared. He still is scared to go home – a place that most probably feels strange for him now – strange and dangerous. Too many painful memories are there. He looks into his mother eyes and tries hard to tell her no, maybe another time, but they plead, they almost beg him and Eren finds himself promising:

“I’ll come only to take food. No lunch.”

“Ok” she says with a pained smile. At least he didn’t crush all her hopes.

Sunday he wakes up feeling like he’s going to visit some sort of exciting new place – he suspects it is because he hasn’t seen his mother for a year. Beside the unnatural giddiness, there is a lump in his chest that he can’t suppress, a feeling like he’s about to do something he shouldn’t. He shrugs, trying to make the sensation go away and heads to his old home.

The sky has an intense shade of blue and there is no cloud. Eren imagines how easy it would be to paint this sky with just one delicate swipe of watercolor, no mixing, no effort. Then he thinks he misses the stormy clouds from last week that reminded him so much of Levi’s steel grey eyes, which is a stupid disquieting thought.

When he arrives on his street his heart starts beating a little bit too fast, causing a wave of panic to invade his mind, panic that he tries to erase thinking that he won’t stay for too long. The houses look from the outside almost the same, with small lawns and flower pots. His house is the fourth one, with a light shade of brown and a white entry door.

He stops on the stairs and wonders if he’s supposed to knock or just enter. He settles in the first and knocks. He hears his mum steady steps as she probably comes out of the kitchen and tries to smooth the creases in her dress. She opens the door:

“Eren, why didn’t you enter? For God’s sake.”

Eren gives her a lopsided smile as the goes past the door and into the small hallway. It smells like blueberry tart and grilled mushrooms and Eren’s heart almost bursts into happiness and sadness, both of them mixed, swirling in his veins. He feels torn between the need to get the hell out of there as fast as he can and the burning desire to stay a little bit more, to remember the days when he still hoped they are a normal family.

He goes to the kitchen followed closely by Carla who fetches a pair of kitchen gloves and takes out of the oven the blueberry tart.

“I made this for you” she says with her eyes flickering with affection “you can take all of it.”

Eren smiles back and sits on the chair near the counter, while Carla goes to the fridge and then puts in front of him a chicken bacon casserole and tells him:

“And you can also take this.”

Eren grimaces at the amount of food his mum cooked for him, but she dismisses him telling that it was merely enough. They spend the next hour talking about Eren’s days at school, his upcoming finals for this year and his job at “Croquant”. He even dares to mention Levi to his mum and is ready to tell her how to search for him on Youtube when Grisha barges in the kitchen as a storm.

Eren freezes in place, the first reaction of his brain being to question how in the world he didn’t hear the door opening or anything that could tell him his father arrived. Grisha himself seems taken aback by Eren’s presence, but that only for a few seconds until his demeanor changes into blazing eyes and a mouth that starts cussing Eren. He wants to just get up and leave, but his father catches him by the back of his throat in a fierce grip and shoves him to the ground. The chair falls with Eren, trapping one of his ankles between the chair and the floor. In the haziness of his brain he hears Carla begging his father to stop then sees in the corner of his eye how she’s also shoved aside.

He tries to untangle his leg, but moves too slow and gets a two full blows of his father foot in his ribs and collarbone. He’s then caught by the back of his hoodie, dragged across the hall and shoved in the street. Until he manages to get up and walk away the entry door opens again and the chicken casserole nearly misses his head and smashes on the ground in million of pieces.

Through the thrum of his pulse he vaguely hears his father shouting that if he ever comes back he’ll kill him and he knows it isn’t just an empty threat.

He manages to get up and walk home, the survival instinct being probably the only thing that saved him. He spends the afternoon and evening crying, until his own tears lull him in a heavy sleep.

***

Levi is certain he´s going to hate this summer – it’s already too hot for the beginning of May, he thinks. After staring for a half an hour at his closet he picks a grey T-shirt and a pair of dark jeans and gets ready for another week at Sina. A week with project presentations for his students – he suspects it’s going to be a week with protests, proud speeches, annoying commentaries and weird reactions, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to be bad. He’s impressed by the students of this year, but he’s not going to deny it – they are a bunch of _brats._

When he enters the lecture hall they are already there, divided in teams and waiting. He inhales deeply and mentally prepares for quite a long day.

10 presentations, 3 conflicts and four hours later he gets out of the university hallways with a headache and the urge to drink a very strong Americano, possibly made by Eren. He walks on Sina’s alleys when he spots the previous mentioned barista walking with his backpack thrown effortlessly on one shoulder and the teal Converses in his feet. However, when he gets closer and taps Eren in his shoulder he notices how tired and pale he is, dark circles under his puffy eyes.

“Oi, brat, you look horrible.”

Eren gives him a lopsided fragile smile and comments:

“Rough night, that’s all.”

“Rough night?? You look like you’ve been hit by a train” Levi observes “are you ill or something? I can take you home if you don’t feel well.”

Eren shakes his head and keeps moving, probably towards “Croquant”. Something in the back of Levi’s mind is alert – he can swear Eren is not well at all. And now, walking near him he sees that with every step he looks like he’s trying to hide a grimace of pain and his forehead glistens with sweat.

“How was your day?” Eren asks, his eyes, although tired, flickering with interest when they fix Levi.

“Interesting, but shitty” Levi says, making Eren chuckle.

“Why?”

“Well, you see, my students had some presentations today – part of the evaluation will be important in their finals. 10 teams, PPT and let the mess begin. And if you try to find th-“ Levi stops realizing that as he was rambling, Eren remained behind and he expected to see him in the corner of his eye again, but he doesn’t appear anymore. He hears a “thump” and when he turns Eren is on the ground.

Panic invades Levi in a second – he’s rushing towards the boy:

“Oi, brat?! Eren, what’s wrong with you?? Oi, Eren?!”. Eren doesn’t move and Levi touches his forehead, realizing that he is burning in fever.

_Fuck! Shit!_

A few students turn to them shocked and in the rush of the moment he takes Eren in his arms and heads towards his car while one if his students that happened to be around takes Eren’s bag.

10 minutes later he enters the Emergency Ward of “Maria Hospital”.

He waits on the hallways for almost an hour until a doctor, a woman with blond hair almost turned silver and green eyes comes to him:

“Mister Ackerman? Will you please follow me in my office?”

Levi nods and follows her. Once in the room she signs him to sit down and starts talking in a calm voice:

“My name is Ilsa Kruger. I’m the doctor in charge today for the Emergency Ward” she reaches to shake Levi’s hand and he responds:

“Levi Ackerman. Is Eren ok?” he asks.

Doctor Kruger gives him a look, pondering in silence how she should answer, perhaps:

“I’m sorry, but before that I have to ask what kind of relationship you have with the patient.”

“We have a common group of friends. Eren works in a coffee shop owned by some childhood friends of mine.”

“I see” she says pensively, tapping the edge of her desk.

Levi narrows his eyes – why is this doctor reluctant to tell him about Eren?

“You don’t trust me, doctor Kruger? Is that it? I would’ve called someone from his family, but I don’t know anyone.”

She purses her lips:

“It’s not that, mister Ackerman. And even if you had wanted to call someone they would’ve said no.”

Levi frowns – as far as he knows Eren has parents. How they cannot come when their son is in danger?

“How do you know that?”

Doctor Kruger fixes him with her emerald eyes and speaks:

“I’ll tell you this mister Ackerman only because my daughter is a great fan of yours and because it seems to me that an artist like you knows what discretion is. I also know Eren’s mother, even if he doesn’t know that.”

“Doctor Kruger, if you know who I am then I also expect you to know what discretion is, right?” Levi interrupts her and she lets out a puff of air similar almost to a snort.

“Of course, mister Ackerman. You’re not the first VIP that enters this hospital” she says, then clears her throat. “It’s not the first time Eren comes into the Emergency Ward. He also came last year, in a state worse than the one he is in now: broken ribs and as far as I can tell PTSD. He was then brought by his best friend and his grandfather. When I asked his friend what happened he said Eren was attacked by some thugs. When I asked Eren what happened when he woke up he told me he fell on some stairs. I don’t know what you think, but to me this doesn’t sound right.”

Levi tilts his head and observes:

“They lied – for the same reason, I suppose? What do you think had happened?”

“The same thing that happened now – these are wounds caused by abuse. Physical abuse. Eren has now a clavicle fracture and a fissured rib. The same one that was broken last year. I asked him last year if someone beaten him. He denied it, although I have to say he’s a very bad liar. I suppose he’ll say the same now.”

Levi is angry. A little bit shocked and angry. Eren is a good kid – Levi doesn’t know him well, but he can see Eren is a good kid. He also knows that Isabel and Farlan told him he’s hardworking, warm and smart. Why would someone hurt Eren?

Doctor Kruger lets him think a bit before adding:

“In our hospital we do not discriminate people that are gay. Last year Eren stood here for a while and he grew fond of me. He told me he was gay. Perhaps you think it’s his boyfriend who did this to him? Or maybe he is the victim of homophobic aggression?”

“As far as I know Eren is single. Also, I teach at Sina where Eren studies. Our University accepts people that are part of the LGBTQ+ community. We discourage homophobic behavior.”

The woman nods:

“So it’s not that. Or maybe you don’t know for sure.”

Levi exhales and massages his temples:

“I don’t know Eren that well.”

“Do you know if he wears glasses?” the doctor suddenly asks.

“No, I’ve never seen him with glasses.”

Doctor Kruger clicks her tongue and explains:

“Eren has myopia. He had headaches last year and we sent him to the Ophthalmology Ward. He promised me he’ll buy glasses, but I suppose he didn’t have enough money for that or he refused to go. I don’t know, but I suppose his condition got worse. I told you this because it is also something that concerns me. Mister Ackerman” she says leaning in her chair and putting her hands with the palms down on her desk “it is very rare for me to get attached to patients. I try not to because sometimes it can be very painful. I couldn’t control myself very well with Eren – I care about him. Perhaps it is because I knew his mother or because Eren is such a sweet child, it doesn’t matter. I dared to call Carla Jaeger last year and ask her about her son. She told me she can’t come to the hospital and that Eren doesn’t live with them anymore and they fought. It sounded like he was the bastard son in a soppy drama and they disinherited him. There is no one as a contact person in case of emergency for Eren. He refused to let his best friend put his name on the papers last year. As you can see the entire situation is pretty complicated and it makes me angry in a way. I’ve seen a lot of victims of abuse in my years of work in this ward and I don’t like what I see. Eren acts like someone who was both emotional and physical abused. I don’t know by whom and I don’t care. All I know is that I want this kid to be fine as I want my daughter to be fine.”

Levi stays silent, listening carefully to what the doctor says. He saw something in Eren too – a vulnerability, a sadness. He thought maybe it was in his mind, but now, when someone else says the same, even more, he starts to believe it.

“What can I do to help?” he asks before thinking very well of what his help might mean.

Doctor Kruger narrows her eyes:

“Can I trust you, mister Ackerman? Can I count on you to help Eren? How do I know it isn’t you the one who did this to him?”

Levi’s eyes flare with anger. He snarls:

“Do you see a pianist beat a teenager like a dog? Do you think if I did that I would’ve been someone your daughter admires? Or even have a career?”

Doctor Kruger snarls too:

“I didn’t mean to offend you, mister Ackerman, but being only someone that has a common group of friends with Eren doesn’t make you trustable.”

Levi grits his teeth:

“I would never do this to anyone. I’m not a motherfucking abuser. I took part in campaigns against child abuse. And I care about Eren.”

He points the last words with his voice and sees the way something in doctor’s Kruger posture changes:

“Very well. If you care about Eren, then help him. These are the papers you need to sign for today’s treatment. Fortunately, I convinced him to have a medical insurance last year and he doesn’t have to pay for today. However, he’ll need to pay for the ophthalmologist if you can convince him to go. Also, he’ll need to wear a sling for his collarbone two weeks and it’d be better if he’d have someone to live with. We made some tests for his head – he didn’t break anything when he fell, but if he gets dizzy or throws up in the next days he must come immediately to the hospital. Do you think you can make him stay with his best friend or someone else who can take care of him? We’ll discharge him tomorrow if everything is ok.”

Levi listens to her words while he reads the papers: _Eren Gabriel Jaeger. _Suddenly, he doesn´t even care what the hell he signs. He just signs it and thinks he has to make sure Eren never arrives in the Emergency Ward again.

He hands the papers back to doctor Kruger and asks her:

“Can I see him?”

Doctor Kruger scans him again with her emerald eyes and says:

“He’s asleep now, but yes, you can see him.”

They walk together in Eren’s room. Levi receives a mask, slippers and one of those hospital coats and enters. There is one more patient with a broken leg that gives Levi a funny look when he enters the room. Eren lays in the bed near the window – Levi notices he doesn’t look that pale anymore and his right arm is in a swing. His chest rises and falls in steady moves and Levi thinks he looks so young when he sleeps. At least, there is no tight line between his eyebrows and Levi realizes probably his fever went down. He turns to doctor Kruger who watches the clipboard left near Eren’s bed:

“I have to go for a few hours to buy clothes for him for tomorrow and clean a room at my place if he’s going to be discharged. I’ll also talk to Isabel and Farlan – you can tell him that if he wakes up.

Doctor Kruger puts a reassuring hand on Levi’s shoulder:

“Thank you, mister Ackerman. I really appreciate your help.”

While he goes to the parking lot Levi’s mind finally clears a bit and he fully realizes what he’s doing and what happened. Someone treated Eren like a dog and he didn’t say anything until he fainted on the street. A pain as if he’d received a punch grips Levi’s stomach – _What crazy bastard would do that to Eren? – _to Eren who paints in watercolor and makes coffee and commutes for two hours and is young and so _innocent._

Ok, Levi is angry now – he wants to find out who the hell did that to Eren and why. But before that he needs to make sure Eren is safe and sound.


	7. Banana Split

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! :D  
As I was telling you last week, this Saturday I'm out of town, so this chapter comes up earlier.  
It's cute, it's sweet, it gets things moving :))))  
Enjoy and have a nice week :D Next chapter comes as usual on Saturday ;)

When Eren is finally waking up, the first thing he notices is the lack of pain. His ribs doesn’t feel like it’ll crumble anymore, same for his collarbone. He then realizes he actually can’t move his right hand and he remembers he fainted while he was talking to Levi. At this his eyes open only to show him the white immaculate ceiling. He then looks around and spots Levi on a chair near him, silver eyes scrutinizing and his lips gathered in a thin line.

“You’re at Maria Hospital” Levi explains in a neutral voice.

“How long have I been asleep?”’ Eren whispers.

“It’s 9 PM, so not for long” Levi says as he pulls his chair closer to Eren’s bed.

“I’m sorry, I…I had a rough weekend and-“

“In your rough weekends you usually get beaten like a dog?” Levi interrupts him with a sharp edge in his voice, one that Eren didn’t think could be directed to him. He fixes a point on the bed and mutters:

“I..I mean I..-“

“Fell on stairs? Hit a wall?” Levi inquires frowning at him “seriously Eren, you scared the crap out of me. I think I deserve a better lie if you don’t want to tell me who did this to you.”

Eren raises his eyes, fighting the urge to scream at Levi, to tell him that he doesn’t know how it feels, to tell him he needs to be saved, to spill the truth and the pain and everything else he holds in his heart. He ends up letting out a shattered breath:

“I..I can’t tell you the truth.”

“You can’t tell me the truth?” Levi echoes his words “why? Because we barely know each other or why?”

“Because you wouldn’t be able to help me even if you knew!” Eren snaps.

Levi folds his arms and leans in in his chair, the grey in his eyes turning into molten silver. When he starts speaking the sharp edge in his voice sends shivers down Eren’s spine:

“Fine. You don’t want to tell me, very well. Just so you know, tomorrow you’re going to be discharged and until you talk to your friends or to someone that is closer to you, you’re going to stay in my apartment-“ Eren opens his mouth to protest, but Levi gives him such a cold look that he immediately closes his mouth “_if_ you refuse I’ll drag you into my apartment. I signed a tone shit of papers that make me your guardian until you get better and I’m not going to get in prison because you woke up and suddenly feel the need to be stubborn. Not after you fell on the street like a bag of sad potatoes.”

He gets up and walks to the door:

“I’m going to tell doctor Kruger you woke up.”

In the silence that falls over his room after Levi walked away Eren is simply processing…

By the time doctor Kruger enters the room Eren hasn’t wrapped his mind around the fact that he’s going to stay at Levi’s place and Levi didn’t actually give him a choice in that matter.

“Eren, I thought last year you promised you wouldn’t come back” doctor Kruger scolds him. Eren sighs and doesn’t raise his eyes. The doctor approaches and puts a warm gentle hand on his shoulder:

“Eren, look at me. I didn’t say it’s your fault. But I did say you should tell somebody who is doing these things to you.”

Eren wants to fight the tears, but he’s probably still too fragile to do that. They fall easily on his cheeks and doctor Kruger wipes them with her thumb.

She sits on the same chair Levi was a few minutes ago and raises Eren’s chin with her fingers:

“Don’t cry, it’ll make me cry too. Let’s talk about the handsome pianist that brought you here” she says, trying to make Eren feel better.

He’s sure he’s blushing and doctor Kruger sees that:

“Judging by your cheeks I assumed well..”

Eren groans:

“Doctor Kruger, please. It’s not like that.”

She smirks at him:

“It’s not? Then why are you blushing?” she teases him and Eren puts his free hand on the cheeks and mutters:

“I’m not b-blushing”.

Doctor Kruger folds her arms and observes:

“Even if you’d be, I wouldn’t blame you. He is very handsome. And he cares about you even if, as he said, you’re not that close.”

Eren bores his eyes in her emerald orbs:

“Do you..I mean..do you think it’s ok for me to go with him?”

Doctor Kruger’s look changes from the previous amused one into something more serious:

“Do you know who he is?”

“Yes”.

“Do you trust him?”

Eren doesn’t know how to answer to that, because the normal answer should be that he can’t trust Levi. He doesn’t know Levi too well, but, for some reason he answers:

“Yes.”

“Then I think you already know the answer. But, and I am now more than serious Eren, if only for one moment, one second, you think you’re in danger with him you call the police first, then you call me.”

Eren watches her emerald eyes – this woman didn’t do many things for him, but she means so much for Eren, so much. He thinks that maybe one day, if he finds the courage to tell anyone about what he’s going through, he’ll pick doctor Kruger. Yes, it’d be like he’d betray Armin, but Armin is his best friend. Armin lifts him up, but he can’t shoulder his pain. It doesn’t make him a bad friend, Eren knows, it makes him the best friend Eren could have. But doctor Kruger, she is something else – almost like a strange combination between his mother and those parts of Levi he saw up until now – gentle but sharp, straightforward but fair, strong and caring. It seems so odd to Eren that even with all that happened he still thinks of Levi. He had him in his mind since they met, but now, despite the dizziness in his brain, Levi is even more present. Probably he hit his head when he fell…

Doctor Kruger gets up and tells Eren the details about his condition and the sling for his arm. As she puts her hands on the door knob, she turns slightly to Eren and tells him:

“He told me he’ll be here tomorrow at 10.”

Then she walks away and Eren realizes he still needs time to process.

The next morning when he wakes up Eren fells his mouth dry, as if he is hangover. Sometimes thinking too much does that to him. He shifts a bit in the uncomfortable hospital bed, trying to reach for his phone: 9.30 in the morning. Levi will be here soon.

Levi.

Will be.

Here soon.

Eren realizes he still hasn’t wrapped his mind around the fact. It is still foreign to him, it is still strange. The door opens and doctor Kruger comes in:

“Good morning, sunshine. Finally you woke up. I came here around 8 and one could have thrown a nuclear bomb, you still wouldn’t have woken up” she says with a fond smile.

Eren shrugs:

“Why is my mouth dry?” he asks.

Doctor Kruger raises an eyebrow:

“Well, I told you yesterday you don’t drink enough water. You didn’t listen…”

She sits on the chair near his bed again and runs a slender finger through her blond locks:

“Levi called. He said he’ll be here in 20 minutes.”

Eren simply nods. He still, _still_ doesn’t know what to say about that. He supposes he’ll deal with things when they’ll come.

20 minutes later Levi does enter the room, wearing a white t-shirt and gunmetal grey slacks and, surprisingly, Converses. He puts a plastic bag on the corner of Eren’s bed and explains:

“Morning. You have here some sweatpants and a T-shirt. I remembered you wore jeans when you fainted and I’m pretty sure they are not comfortable.”

Eren obviously blushes and mumbles a “thanks”, getting up from the bed and reaching for the plastic bag. Levi walks away, probably to sign the papers for Eren’s discharge and when he comes back Eren is ready. Doctor Kruger follows them both with impassible eyes as they walk around the sterile hallways. Close to the exit she stops and they turn to greet. Her green orbs almost pierce Eren’s skull:

“This time I am serious. If you ever come back like this again I’ll open your head and find out who the hell does that to you.”

Eren tries to avoid her gaze and whisper:

“I..I’ll try.”

She sighs in exasperation and mumbles:

“Fine, Eren. Try, but be serious about that.”

He nods, not too convinced. He means, who the hell is supposed to stop his father…he _will_ try to avoid him as much as possible, but sometimes.. it is impossible to do so.

Levi reaches and shakes doctor Kruger’s hand:

“Thank you, doctor Kruger. I’ll take care of him, I promise.”

Levi’s voice sounds so sure, so determined, that Eren almost blushes again. He hugs doctor Kruger, then, not being able to keep his shit in one place, follows Levi silently as they head to the parking lot.

Levi carries his backpack and reaches in his pockets, probably for his keys. Eren wonders what kind of car Levi drives and how does his apartment look like. How does the apartment of a famous pianist look like, as a matter of fact? He halts in his tracks when he realizes Levi is headed towards a Maserati. A _freaking Maserati._

Levi notices Eren is not following and turns:

“Everything ok? Are you sick again??”

He sounds scared. Stuttering, Eren tries to explain:

“Y-You..I..I m-m-mean. You drive a..Ma-Masera-_Maserati._”

Levi frowns, then his head runs between Eren and his car. An amused grin takes over his lips and he shrugs:

“Yes, I drive a Maserati. Get in.”

And Eren gets in. It is too overwhelming for him: his father, the aggression, the fainting, the hospital, Levi’s voice, Levi’s molten silver eyes, Levi’s jet black hair, Levi’s grin just now, Levi’s long slender fingers on the wheel, Levi’s sharp jaw. Exhausted, Eren falls asleep.

***

As he drives in the busy morning traffic of Marley, Levi glances from time to time to Eren. He fell asleep the moment he got into the car, his head now tilted towards the window, exposing the light caramel shade of his neck.

He didn’t say much this morning, the only powerful reaction Levi could get from him being the big eyes he made at his Maserati. Levi wonders if Eren’s silence arrived because he is ashamed, confused or terrified. The pianist figures he has to explain better to Eren why he helped him, although Levi knows he doesn’t know pretty well why…

He parks in front of his apartment building and pats Eren’s shoulder gently:

“Eren, we’re here.”

The boy doesn’t move and for a second Levi panics, then Eren moans and turns his sleepy face to him, mumbling:

“We’re where?”

Levi wants to laugh. To laugh and to run away in the same time because there must be something wrong with his brain if he thinks Eren’s sleepy moan was the sexiest shit he has ever heard. And then he wants to laugh because Eren reminds him so much of those little boys who grumble in their sleep.

“We’re at my apartment, remember? You’ll stay at my place today.”

He snaps his eyes open, figuring out where he is and gives Levi an apologetic look:

“Sorry, I..mumble in sleep.”

Levi can’t help but snort:

“It’s ok. I’ll take your backpack and open the door for you” he says. When he opens the door Eren seems troubled and Levi reaches his hand and offers him support as he gets out of the car. His hand is warm and soft and Levi wishes he could hold him a little while longer. Then gives himself a mental slap and clears his throat:

“The entire fourth floor is my apartment. We’ll take the elevator. Doctor Kruger told me you might feel dizzy here and there. If you do, please tell me, ok?”

Eren nods and follows Levi as they enter the building.

When the door of the elevator opens Levi takes the lead again, rummaging in the pocket of his slacks, searching for his keys. He opens the door and makes room for Eren:

“Come in.”

After the boy enters hesitantly, Levi looks around – the apartment is clean –_thank God he had time to clean it, although he is a clean freak and it’s always on point_. When you enter you get in an open space, at the left is the kitchen with the fridge, sink and the other things near the wall and a working space, similar to a counter. He also added a table in the middle for parties and gatherings. The wall at the left of the kitchen is all made of glass, letting in the golden light of the sun and offering a wide view over the city.

Opposite side of the kitchen is the living room, with his grand piano in the middle and behind it a sofa, two arm chairs and a coffee table. A huge LCD occupies the wall in the front, surrounded by bookshelves.

Eren freezes in the hallway, blinking repeatedly as he stares around. Levi lets him breathe for a second until he says:

“Eren, you really have to find that big stick you shoved in your ass and throw it away. This is your home for today, I want you to act like that, ok?”

Eren swallows and nods:

“Ok.”

Levi gives him a smile:

“Good. Now, follow me I’ll take your stuff in the guest room where you’ll sleep tonight.”

The guest room is the first after the living room. It is a bit smaller than Levi’s bedroom, but has the entire southern wall made of glass. Levi thinks Eren is going to like that. There is a bed, one night stand at the right, a bookshelf at the left and in a corner, fixed on the wall a TV. The walls are faded blue and the furniture is white, so much different than the rest of the house where all the furniture is black.

“The laptop on the bed is my old one – you can use it if you need, it still works well” Levi says as he puts Eren backpack on the bed. “Also, that door” and he points at the left of the bed “is for a small bathroom.”

Eren nods and Levi keeps going:

“I’ll give you a few minutes until I change. I’ll show you the rest of the house after.”

Eren sits on the edge of the bed and fixes Levi with his impossible eyes. Levi stops in his tracks and waits. He can see Eren has something to say.

“Levi?” he whispers, almost inaudibly.

Levi answers gently:

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“Any time.”

While he changes his street clothes in his room Levi hopes Eren isn’t going to be so stiff the entire day. If he feels like that he certainly made the wrong decision dragging him here. Fortunately, when he goes back the tension in the boy´s shoulders seems to have gone and until lunch he manages to become a bit talkative, asking questions mainly about Levi’s apartment.

After lunch he dozes off on the sofa, sleeping soundly until is time for dinner. Levi decides they should order something and gently pats Eren’s shoulder to ask him what he wants to eat. Just like in the car, Eren grumbles something, then opens his eyes and blushes:

“I’m I’m sorry. I fell asleep.”

“It’s ok, brat. I wanted to order something for dinner. What do you want to eat?”

Eren shifts on the sofa and bites his lower lip as he thinks, making Levi not being able to take his eyes off the plump lip that is now tortured by Eren’s pearl white teeth.

“Pizza?” he asks sheepishly and Levi nods.

“Pizza will be. And desert? Do you want a Banana Split?”

Eren gives him a weird look and blinks a few times, his cheeks turning pink again.

“B-b-banana split?” he asks confused and Levi figures the kid probably never ate a Banana Split. He doesn’t know if he should make fun of the kid or wonder what kind of childhood he had if he doesn’t know what a Banana Split is. He recomposes himself and tells Eren:

“I’ll..well, I’ll order my favorite Banana Split, with green tea and lemon ice cream and if you don’t like it you don’t have to eat.”

Eren nods then makes a move to get up and Levi asks:

“Do you need something?”

“My..uh..my wallet.”

Levi frowns at him:

“If you’re thinking to pay for this, Eren, I’ll castrate you” he growls and Eren’s eyes grow ten times bigger. He blushes a red tomato shade and sits back on the sofa in silence while Levi goes to the kitchen to order, barely suppressing his laugh.

It turns out Eren falls deeply in love with Levi’s desert suggestion, not being able to hide his awe when Levi pushes in front of him the plate with two big bananas drowned in ice cream, chocolate flakes, syrup, nuts and whipped cream. He dives into it and doesn’t stop until the last piece of fruit. Levi is pretty much sure he’s going to get sick, but he couldn’t stop him munching the thing. Firstly, because he looked too damn cute and secondly, because he didn’t want to steal the joy of eating a Banana Split in one go.

After dinner, Eren simply starts dozing off again on the sofa and Levi tells him softly to go to sleep around 9. After a quick shower (without his arm sling) Levi sees the lights going off in Eren’s room and gets ready for two hours of working, checking the projects handed by his students for the last presentation.

Around 11 he walks slowly on the hallway, stopping before Eren’s door and opening it to check him up. The room is turned blue by the light of the full moon, making it almost as a part of a fairytale. Eren is sleeping on his back, head tilted towards the door and hair a messy chocolate ocean on the pillows. He’s covered by a thin sheet and his chest rises and falls in swift motions, filling the room with his steady breaths.

And Levi just _knows_, he knows that Eren _is_ someone that he’ll never forget, someone that, with one look and a cup of Americano changed his life in a way that will never be reversed. He simply _knows_ that if he would have the chance to love somebody, with everything that he has, probably that somebody would definitely be Eren. For no reason, just for who he is.

***’

When Eren wakes up the next morning, he realizes it’s the first time in years he has slept so good. No pain, no nightmare, no worries. His collarbone doesn’t hurt anymore and on his lips lingers the sweet taste of the Banana Split. He admires the city through his window wall for a while, taking in the view because he knows he has to leave today. Levi did enough for him, maybe more than enough and he doesn’t want to impose anymore. Yes, he’ll miss the chill and this state of mind Levi offered him, giving him the time to think and to overcome what happened, but he knows he can’t stay.

He gets up, goes through his morning routine and heads then to Levi’s kitchen. The man is already at the counter with a coffee mug in his hand and a paper. The door to the balcony is opened letting in the fresh air of May morning and the mixed sounds of the city.

Levi raises his silver eyes when he hears Eren approaching:

“Good morning. Slept well?” he asks with a smile.

Eren smiles back, probably blushing a bit and answers:

“Better than ever.”

“I’m glad. I thought you’re going to throw up after you shoved the desert down your throat” Levi teases him and Eren, surprisingly, finds the power to retort:

“I didn’t. It’s not my fault that you don’t know how to eat a good desert properly.”

Levi raises a fake offended eyebrow and observes with a smirk:

“Oh, do I sense a sassiness in your tone, brat?”

Eren grins at him and shrugs:

“Maybe.”

“Brat” Levi concludes then asks “coffee? Tea? What do you want for breakfast?”

“Coffee and toast is fine” Eren says, sitting on the chair near Levi. He watches as the pianist moves fluidly around his kitchen, pouring coffee in mug, then cutting with precise motions the bread, putting the slices in the toaster and turning it on.

“Jam or peanut butter for the toast?” he asks and Eren nods.

After Levi puts his coffee and the toast before him, they sit for a while in a comfortable silence until Eren breaks it:

“I talked to Armin yesterday evening. His grandfather will take care of me, so I was wondering if it is ok to leave around 11.”

Levi scans his face with attention, almost making him fidget and answers:

“I’ll take you back to Shiganshina-“

“But Levi” Eren interrupts, then stops, because the look Levi gives him doesn’t accept a “no”.

Eren bites in the last pieces of his toast, his eyes fixing again the grand piano from the living room. He saw Levi in so many videos playing the thing, but he still wonders how does it feel to listen to him live. Levi follows his gaze and asks:

“Do you want me to play something for you?”

Eren turns to him, a bit embarrassed that he was caught staring like a fool and answers:

“If it is..I mean..if you’re ok with that.”

Levi snorts:

“Of course I’m ok with that. It’s my career anyway.”

Eren nods and follows Levi as he heads towards the instrument. He sits on the chair and pats it, telling Eren to come near him. The boy feels his cheeks on fire, but he sits silently, observing how Levi fingers flip thorough the music sheets, searching precisely for something. When he finds what he’s looking for he bores his silver eyes into Eren’s and smiles:

“This is for you, brat.”

The moment his long slender fingers touch the keys Eren feels immediately pulled somewhere else, away from everything. The song sounds like an incantation or an ode. It is fast and delicate in the same time, powerful, yet gracious. Levi fingers dance on the keys, his eyes following the notes on the sheet for a while, then closing as if he already knows everything by heart.

Eren doesn’t know what it means to play a piano, but looking at Levi right now it seems like he claims the instrument, he tames it, making it his entirely, not with force or violence, but with a grace that hides somewhere that sharp tone in Levi voice. And then, it’s not just Levi, but the song itself that hypnotizes Eren, millions of butterflies filling his stomach and invading his mind. It’s like a fairytale or a love story, it sounds sad and beautiful in the same time, giving you hope, but also letting you cry if you need to.

It makes Eren think he’ll be able to overcome anything, he’ll be able to find a way out of his life, he’ll be able to find his happy ending. And when Levi finishes it and opens his eyes to fix Eren, his heart does a loop and starts beating fast and he finds himself wishing, begging whatever force of the universe to make Levi kiss him _now. _And Levi does lean in, until he’s so close to Eren that he can feel his breath on his face. He closes his eyes and he’s scared because he is sure he’s a bad kisser and Levi _freaking _Ackerman doesn’t deserve that. His ready to run away when he feels Levi soft lips, not on his lips, but on his forehead, where they touch his skin gently, lingering there maybe a little more than it is needed, then they vanish, leaving Eren’s skin burning under the memory of their touch.

He opens his eyes to find Levi watching him with something that Eren can only identify as affection, only he’s not quite sure because nobody looked at him like that ever. Levi leans in and pushes a strand of Eren’s hair away from his forehead and asks him:

“I don’t have a name for this song. Care to offer a suggestion?”

Eren stares at the grand piano, at his white and black keys that Levi conquered a few minutes ago and remembers the way his heart fluttered when he listened to the song. He inhales and says:

“It made me think of a spring day..you know, like the one in the park.”

Levi nods, picks a pen hidden between his music sheets and writes with round and delicate letters _“Spring Day/Reiss Central Park”. _ Eren watches the clean calligraphy and smiles, then he bores his eyes into Levi’s and smiles even more. He knows something has changed between them – it is not like how it was 20 minutes ago, it’s not how it was yesterday or the first day he met Levi. It’s different and it puts him at ease. He doesn’t know what it is, but he doesn’t care – it’s just there and it’s enough.

Two hours later Levi drives him home, carries his backpack into his studio, watches a few of his paintings and leaves, not before Eren promises him that he’ll be ok and he won’t go to “Croquant” until he feels better. He’s left alone when Levi goes, but suddenly his small studio isn’t that cramped anymore, the glitter smudged on the ceiling seems funny and he can’t wait to go back to school on Monday.


	8. Black cherries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! :D I'm sorry for posting this a day later, but it seems in the last time on Saturdays I'm always out of town :))  
Chapter 8 is here. It's cute and fluffy :D Hope you like it.  
Have a nice week :)

Levi opens the window letting in the chill breeze of the morning and the murmur of the city. He takes one sip from his coffee and inhales.

He wanted to kiss Eren, burned to kiss Eren, but he wanted to do that only if Eren wanted too. And he seemed suddenly so small, like a deer caught in the lights, so Levi changed his mind. His _mind_, not _his heart._ Although, when the boy opened his eyes and looked at him Levi figured maybe he didn’t need to change his mind at all. Eren didn’t want to be kissed _yet._

The question is does Levi really want to start something now? A relationship with someone so young as Eren sounds, not like a bad idea, but like something rather complicated. Especially for Levi, who is away six months a year, usually followed by reporters and journalist from high quality magazines, fine culture shows and other snob and posh things. He grimaces imagining the titles “_Pianist in love with a boy? How to s(w)ing the other way of the piano”._

Fuck! Now this is why Hanji always makes fun of him saying he has a vast imagination. But what can he do? Because denying that he is very attracted (very being the key word) to Eren is not an option for him. Besides that, Eren needs help, needs someone to figure out what going on with him, even if that means Levi will have to stick his nose where he shouldn’t.

The clock tells him he needs to get ready, so he finishes his coffee and heads for a new day.

The most annoying part of being a teacher, Levi concludes, it is when you have to evaluate your students, especially art students, _particularly _art students from Sina.

5 minutes ago he has just finished giving them their projects back with their evaluations and he can already smell the potent odor of protests and whines and slurs. Some faces are content, some are defeated, some don’t give a shit and some look utterly disappointed. He clears his throat and speaks, voice echoing in the quiet room:

“So, I can see some of you have one or more things to say to me. This is why for the rest of this course I will talk to the ones that have questions about the evaluation and the papers. The rest of you can take a break until your next class.”

Half of the room goes up, students taking their stuff and vanishing. The other half stays behind, staring at their papers. Some of them make up their minds and go too. However, 10 heads remain behind, staring at their papers, analyzing his observations, getting ready for a fight. He suppresses a grin that threatens to form on his lips – it is going to be a long day.

2 hours later he has a list with 3 students that specifically asked for a re-evaluation and others 2 who must know that, if they don’t get at least 60 points in the final exam, they’ll fail his class.

_Freaking wonderful._

He knows he needs another coffee, so maybe it’s time to go to “Croquant”. He hasn’t been there in a while anyway. He passes through the hallways of Art Department in Sina, on his way out, when he spots Eren near a window, chewing a sandwich and talking lively with a bulky blond man. He ponders if he should go and embarrass himself there or not and decides he actually doesn’t give a shit if it’ll be weird to stop and say hi to Eren.

The boy notices him as soon as he approaches and a shy smile curl up his lips, cheeks tainted by a light pink shade.

“Hi, Eren!”

“Hi, Levi!” he answers, fidgeting a bit. The blonde brute stares at them and Eren jolts and says:

“Oh, sorry, this is Reiner. He’s my classmate.”

Reiner looks like the definition of a rugby player and Levi thinks he probably paints with his fists, but pushes the thoughts aside and reaches his hand to shake:

“Hello, Reiner. Nice to meet one of Eren’s friends.”

Reiner touches his hand, his grip firm and determined and nods:

“Thank you for taking care of Eren” he says simply “I’ll let you two talk” he adds then, going back in the classroom.

Eren stares dumbly after him for a while, then turns to Levi, completely flustered as if he doesn’t know what to say. A part of Levi wants to tease, the other one understands perfectly how Eren feels because he suddenly feels dumb too.

“When do you finish classes today?” he asks, suddenly having the most brilliant idea in the last few weeks.

“Why do you ask?” Eren retorts with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

“Well, I was thinking to drive you home, now that I know where that is” Levi observes emphatically.

It’s a new territory, he realizes – it’s somewhere between joke and flirt, most probably, and judging by the way Eren tries to fight his grin, they are doing a very good job.

“Well” Eren copies his previous tone “I think I could say no, because that would be a proper answer, but I know you’ll drag me into your expensive car anyway, so I might accept.”

“_Drag”_ Levi snorts, trying to sound offended “I didn’t drag you anywhere, it’s not my fault you are a stubborn ass. And, excuse me, “might accept”, I think you want to say you _will accept” _Levi adds, narrowing his eyes.

Eren fixes him with shimmery eyes, inhales, exhales and says:

“You won’t take no as an answer, I suppose.”

“Nope” Levi replays, making Eren snort.

“I owe you too much already, Levi” the boy says, dropping the act.

Levi drops it too, speaking in a more serious tone:

“You owe me nothing, brat. If I didn’t want to do this, I wouldn’t.”

Eren opens his mouth to refuse again or add something but he changes his mind, looking defeated:

“Fine. 6. Today I finish at 6. It’s closer to the end of the semester and I have some long classes.”

“Good. I’ll wait for you in front of the gates in my expensive car” Levi says, winking at Eren and leaving him blushing in the hallway.

It turns out that waiting for Eren every day and driving him to Shiganshina, then driving back to Marley it’s a routine that Levi starts to enjoy too much. It’s supposed to be exhausting to do that and annoying because Levi usually hates being stuck in traffic, but it isn’t. As a matter of fact, it is the most enjoyable part of a week day – the moment Eren enters his car, with his bright eyes and hair in all directions, something in Levi twists. Then, for 2 hours they listen to the radio, talk about their days, Eren rambles then about painting and watercolors brands, Levi talks about his students, Eren asks him about his concerts, Levi teases Eren again about google-ing him since Eren confessed he did searched Levi’s name.

They both avoid talking about hospital emergencies and bruises or about who is the one to blame. Levi knows he is not supposed to avoid that talk, but he just hopes Eren will talk or at least listen to what Levi has to say when the time will come.

Two weeks go like that, with the time passing between saying hello to Eren when he gets in the car and saying goodbye when Levi parks before his studio. It’s unsettling for Levi – time always had a larger span for him, he had so many things to do. But now it’s like time suddenly shrinks, his mind being fully present only in the two hours he is with Eren. And it gets even scarier when Eren starts to invade his dreams, teal eyes and long brown eyelashes, chocolate hair and blushing cheeks following Levi even in the quiet hours of his sleep.

It’s Saturday now and Levi finishes his breakfast. The round clock on the kitchen wall he bought in Seoul the first time he got there tells him is 8 o’clock. Which is perfect, Levi thinks, because around 10 he’ll be at Eren’s place, then around 12 back in Marley. He made the appointment at the private Ophthalmology Clinic Petra recommended at 13, which gave them time to have launch.

As he gets in his car, Levi knows it’s not going to be easy to convince Eren to come and to let him pay for his glasses, but he is ready to try anything to make the brat freaking move.

As expected, when Eren opens the door to Levi he seems utterly confused. This give Levi the time to admire the sight of Eren in his pajamas, pants hanging loose on his bony hips and the oversized T-shirt revealing a glimpse of a seductive pale caramel collarbone. His hair is obviously a mess, mussed beyond repair.

“L-levi?!” Eren stutters when his brain finally tells him to whom he opened the damn door.

“Yeah, him. Did you slept well?” Levi asks unfazed as Eren lets him in his small hallway.

“Yeah? But what are you doing here?” the boy asks, his eyes skimming Levi’s body from the bottom to the top and glimmering at the end with something that Eren doesn’t hide very well.

“Well, a bird told me you need glasses. We’ll go to buy them today” Levi declares, trying to make sure Eren understands he can’t refuse or throw a fit. But the look on Eren’s face, as he processes what Levi said, shows the older he can’t avoid a fit. Eren shakes his head in refusal:

“We’re not going anywhere, Levi. You did too much already. Besides, I see very well without glasses.”

_The only way to deal with a brat’s fit is to go hard on him, _ Levi thinks before spitting:

“Bullshit. First, you are an awful liar. Second, I thought you were smarter and you realized by now that I don’t rake no as an answer.”

Eren frowns:

“You can be as rude as you want, I’m not coming” he says, arms crossed on his chest. Levi notices he took his sling off again.

“Do you want to go blind or what?” he pushes as Eren narrows his eyes and start clenching his jaw.

“If I go blind is not your damn problem.”

“It is my problem if I know” Levi retorts, also crossing his arms over his chest.

For a moment, they just stand there, glaring at each other, until Eren drops his hands and runs a jerky hand through his hair.

“Levi, listen. I owe you too many things. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for them. I don’t have money for glasses now. The frames are expensive no matter the model and the lenses for my condition are probably even more expensive. It’s not that I don’t appreciate what you did for me, I do, I really do. But this is too much.”

Levi sighs and goes as step closer to Eren:

“Why do you have to think you owe me something when I was the one who offered help, without asking anything in exchange? Why can’t you just accept my help?”

Eren looks dejected:

“Because in today’s world no one does something for you without waiting for something else in exchange.”

Levi clicks his tongue:

“I’m not no one. I-“ _ am trying to be someone for you _ Levi finishes his phrase in his mind. Eren looks confused, like he was waiting for Levi to say the words, anticipated that he’ll say them and then freaked out because he was disappointed when Levi stopped.

It’s quiet in Eren’s studio, except the monotone tick-tack of a clock somewhere. It smells like soap and clean sheets and _Eren. _His bed isn’t made, sheets crumpled around the way he slept. In the small kitchen, on the counter there are leftovers from his dinner. His arm sling is thrown carelessly on a chair. Levi thinks if he should tell the truth, which is very simple – _I like you, I want to be with you._ Words, simple words that convey what he feels, how he _falls _ for Eren. Words that he didn’t think of for years, maybe for his entire life. Eren watches him with innocent eyes, patiently waiting for an answer, for anything. What they built in these two weeks is fragile, too fragile to resist if one of them makes a mistake. Levi made mistakes his entire life, horrible mistakes. But he was never afraid to make them.

Now he is _terrified._

“I want to help you, Eren. You know who I am, I hope you got to know me these lasts weeks. I don’t expect anything from you. You don’t owe me anything except the fact that I want you to be healthy and to go on with your life. I’m not doing this as charity work, I’m not doing this for image or any other stupid reason you thought of. I’m doing this because I want to, because I like spending time with you and because I want to be your friend.”

_Half a truth is a lie or just half a truth?_

Eren blinks a few times, then blushes, then the blush slowly goes away as he surrenders. Levi sees it in the way his shoulders gradually lose their strain.

“Fine” he grumbles, pouting, as he turns around and heads to a wardrobe to fetch a few clothes, then vanishes in the bathroom.

Levi snorts – it’s impossibly hard to make Eren do something, but what is complicated is the process. The bantering, the argument. If you find the right thing to say Eren just gives up. He is stubborn, Levi thinks, but not stupid.

Eren comes out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of light blue skinny jeans and a teal T-shirt, that makes his eyes an explosion of color. He puts his teal Converses on and takes his wallet, phone and his keys apartment. He lets out a frustrated puff of air and grumbles again:

“Are we going or what?!”

Levi can’t help but bark a laugh – he didn’t do it in years. Eren keeps the pout and the silence until they enter Marley.

***

Eren hates that he gave up so easily, but what could he do? Levi is not someone easy to refuse and Eren doesn’t like that either. He knows Levi is right and he needs glasses and so on and so far, but he didn’t want Levi to do that for him. To _save _him.

Eren wants to be saved, but not by Levi. The pianist is too good and has accomplished so much in his life and Eren knows he’s not worth it. _He’s not enough._

He was not worth it for Jean, he was not worth it for his own father. How can he be worth it for Levi?

As the car stops in front of the Ophthalmology Clinic Eren tries to swallow the lump that formed in his throat. He doesn’t know if he is scared or if he’s crazy, but he wants to run and to be saved. He wants Levi to kiss his forehead again and to take him back in his studio and never return, to save and to leave Eren in the same time, because Eren is too broken to make a decision. But then, just like any other thing that Levi has done in the last weeks, he puts a warm hand on Eren’s shoulder and squeezes it lightly:

“Come on, before we go there I’ll buy some black cherries” he says, turning his eyes on a little fruits shop.

He turns back with a plastic bag full of black cherries, almost the size of two thumbs and hands the bag to Eren while he points out:

“I ask the lady to wash them. Dig in” he encourages Eren, winking and making him fumble with the bag.

The cherries are great, all of them are black and juicy and not too sweet. They both eat quite a lot of them by the time they get into the clinic.

Eren is not too surprised to see that Levi already made an appointment, as if he already knew he’s not going to say no. They wait a bit on the hallway, then a doctor around 30 who present herself as Mina invites them in.

They talk a bit, then Eren has to sit on a chair as the doctor checks his visual acuity, then measures what kind of lenses he needs. Mina invites them to choose the frames, as Levi tells her he wants glasses for Eren as soon as possible. Eren stares at the big wall where there are all kinds of frames, some of them coloured, some of them made of metal. His eyes fix on a pair with gold metal frames, thinner than the rest, the lenses not round but not square either. Doctor Mina encourages him to pick up anything and try. He puts on the golden ones and looks in the mirror. It’s kinda weird to see himself like that but he thinks he likes these and it’s no need to try others. He turns to Levi right on time to catch him gaping back, until he observes:

“Those look good on you. Do you want to try something else?”

Eren looks again at his own reflection and he answers satisfied:

“I think these look great.”

When it’s time to go, Levi doesn’t let him see the receipt, telling him that by the end of the week they’ll come back to take his glasses.

Despite the impressive amount of black cherries he ate, when they go back in the car Eren realizes his stomach it’s protesting. And so does Levi’s. Turning on the AC the pianist tell him:

“So, lunch. What do you want to eat?”

Eren gives him a look:

“I’m not hungry. You’re going to pay for that too and I don’t want that.”

Levi hisses back:

“Fine. Then I’ll turn this into a date. If it is a date you can’t protest anymore.”

Eren blinks at him dumbfounded before he feels his cheeks starting to burn:

“W-w-WHAT?!”

Levi seems calm as a stone:

“What you heard. Date. With me. Now. Are you up for it?”

_Of course I am up for it. Sign me the fuck up!!_

“You want to go on a date. With me.” Eren states as an idiot.

Levi replies innocently (it’s nothing innocent about the way his eyes glimmer):

“I want to go on a date with you now. Lunch and then we can go wherever you want.”

“But-but-but” Eren blurts, feeling even more idiotic.

Levi turns to him, completely, eyes warm and voice gentle:

“Eren, do you want to go on a date with me? Because if you don’t, it’s ok. Dropping the act now, I’ll still buy you lunch even of you refuse me.”

Levi waits patiently as Eren clearly doesn’t know how to find his words. And then, just like that, he looks into Levi’s silver eyes, that now are impossibly beautiful in the light of the sun and simply smiles. Clearing his throat he decides just for today he can dream:

“Levi, I’d love to go on a date with you” he says and the pianist smiles back.

“Great. I know the perfect place for lunch.”

The place for lunch is a sushi place called “Lost in Japan” and Eren absolutely loves it. It’s crowded, but the buzz is a good one, filling the restaurant with energy and a sort of giddiness. It gets even funnier for both of them when they have to start eating and Levi discovers that Eren is awful with chopsticks. The pianist tries to teach him how to use it, but he ends up feeding Eren because there is no way he can handle the things.

They talk about everything and nothing, from plans of future to favorite books, food, movies, to cities they want to visit or things they hate.

Eren figures at a certain point, after almost 8 pieces of delicious sushi, that it comes so easy for him to talk to Levi, to be around him. He has some really crude comments here and there and sometimes his sense of humor gets really dark, but Eren likes it. It makes him forget of all the things he wanted to forget about.

“So, what are you going to paint next?” Levi asks, swallowing his last piece of sashimi.

Eren scratches his nape:

“Don’t have a plan yet. The finals are coming up and unfortunately I have to study.”

Levi nods:

“Can’t wait for the finals..” he mutters and Eren tilts his head:

“Can’t imagine you as a teacher” he teases.

“As in?”

“Most probably you torture your poor students” Eren adds and Levi narrows his eyes, leaning in in his chair and invading a bit Eren’s personal space, enough so that the other boy can see the specks of blue and grey in Levi’s eyes.

“So poorly you think of me?”

Eren’s breath hitches a little in his throat and he realizes he doesn’t have a comeback for that. Not a good one, at least.

“I don’t think poorly of you, but I don’t know what to say about my fellow students” he jokes.

“Brat” Levi mutters and Eren snorts. After Levi pays for their lunch Eren watches the clock on his phone and realizes they stood there for almost three hours. It’s 5 PM now and it’s still too hot outside, the air filled with heat, the smell of gas and under his Converses the pavement burns.

They get into the car and Eren is relieved when Levi turns the AC on with a sigh:

“Please tell me this summer is not going to be a boiling hell.”

“Last summer wasn’t” Eren says “it rained so much.”

Levi turns to him:

“Do you like rain?”

Eren wants to say that he didn’t like rain up until he met Levi and discovered the rainy clouds have the same shade of Levi’s eyes and since then he doesn’t hate rain that much.

“Sometimes. But you know, if it is summer and you want to go out rain ruins everything.”

“Know what you mean. Two years ago when I’ve been to Tokyo in autumn it was horrible. It rained every single day of my concerts. People were pissed off. I tried to play something happier to make them forget the weather.”

Levi has a dreamy face every time he speaks about his concerts. Eren recognizes the feeling – it’s the same for him when he talks about painting and brushes and sceneries.

The other clears his throat:

“So, do you want to go back home or can I show you my favorite place in Marley?”

Hearing the invitation, said almost like it’s a secret Levi is ready to share, Eren answers:

“Show me, Eliott” he says, trying to pronounce Levi’s other name with a French accent. The pianist raises a mocking eyebrow and teases Eren with mischief filling his silver eyes:

“Gabriel, shut up”.

Eren gasps in fake shock then starts giggling:

“Oh God, it’s years since someone called me like that.”

Levi stops at a red light:

“Well, I have been there too. My mum was the only one who called me like that, but when I came in Marley people kept calling me <<Levi>>. Until one day in high school a teacher decided <<Eliott>> sounded better. I didn’t answer and the fucker sent me to detention thinking that I was making fun of him.”

“Your mum is in France?” Eren asks timidly.

Levi nods, turning the car on the main boulevard:

“Yes. She’s in Paris. Yours?”

Eren clenches his jaw, otherwise keeping a neutral expression:

“She..she’s in Shiganshina, but…we don’t talk.”

The boy is relieved when Levi doesn’t press the subject. Instead his slender fingers turn on the radio and the car is filled with the sweet voice of a female singer:

“_Let's just run away, let's just run away now_

_We can find a way, I don't really care how_

_You just name the place_

_I'll be on my way 'round (Way 'round)_

_You call my name, I'll be there waiting_

_Let's just run away, can't we run away now?_

_Hear me when I say I don't wanna_

_Waste another day with you away from me_

_So, let's just run away right now”_

Eren doesn’t recognize her, but he likes the lyrics. When the songs ends Levi clarifies:

“Tiffany Young, she’s a Korean singer. She used to be in a Kpop band, but her contract ended and now she came to America for a solo career.”

Eren snorts:

“Are you into Kpop, Levi?”

“No, you brat. But if you go to Korea and spend there months every year, you start to get to know their artist, food and whatnot”.

“I liked the song, though” Eren adds and Levi gives him a side glance:

“Yeah. Me too.”

20 minutes later they arrive in the east side of the city where Eren has never been. They get out of the car and the boy follows Levi as he guides him to “Marley’s Botanical Garden.” He pays the entrance fee and they start walking around the alleys, although judging by his steady steps, Levi knows precisely where they are going.

On the southern part of the Garden there is a lake surrounded by willows. Levi approaches and turns to Eren:

“We’ll go by the other side of the lake. You’ll love it.”

In this part of the Garden there aren’t as many visitors, only a few old couples and some lonely passers.

They get closer to the lake’s shore and, behind a willow there is a small place with grass where you can sit, not too far from the lake, but not too close. It’s hidden behind the trunk of the tree and offers a clear view over the lake and the rest of the Garden.

Levi sits directly on the grass and Eren follows. He brings his knees together to rest his chin on them and watches the silhouettes of the willows, with their long branches bent over, some of them touching the deep green surface of the lake.

They sit in silence for a few minutes and Eren catches a glimpse of Levi’s sharp profile: thin straight nose, pointy chin and a beautiful sculpted jawline. His jet black bangs fall over his forehead while at the back Eren notices the clean undercut of Levi’s hair. He wonders how it feels to run his thumbs over that surface, to let the little hair brush his skin. Exactly in that moment Levi turns to him and Eren flushes.

The pianist seems not to notice or perhaps he doesn’t want to tease Eren more. He turns back to watch the lake and fills their silence:

“I used to come here when I was in high school and Hanji was pestering me too much.”

Eren grins at that then says:

“Looks like a good place to get away from Hanji…. Is she always so..loud?”

Levi snorts:

“She was worse. This is the adult Hanji version that you saw. And, trust me, it’s bearable.”

“And teenager Hanji?”

Levi groans, remembering probably the old days:

“She was horrible, screaming my name from one corner of the hallway when I was in the opposite side. Disgusting sense of humor and too touchy-feely. The stupid ones in that high school thought we were dating. I don’t know what is worse: the fact that I let her do that so people thought we were dating or the fact that people looked at me and they saw me as a guy who would date Hanji.”

Eren tries to suppress his laugh, but gives up, letting his head fall and gripping his stomach. He calms down, not before wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes:

“Does she know how much her personality tormented you?”

Levi turns to him again, this time with his body and cracks his wrists:

“Trust me, she knew, she knows and she damn loves it” then he shrugs and adds “but I’d be a complete hypocrite to say she isn’t one of my best friends.”

The last rays of sun fall over Levi’s face, doing marvelous things to the silver in his eyes. If Eren was lost earlier when he admired Levi’s profile, he’s dumbstruck now, staring at the other and not being able to tear his eyes away. He freezes when Levi leans in and brushes a strand of hair behind his ear, then relaxes when Levi’s gaze turns into something gentle and warm. Eren turns to Levi too, mirroring his position, but Levi waits a bit, then opens his legs and scoots closer until Eren is between them.

The tension leaves Eren muscles and the only thing that comes into his suddenly hazy mind is the fact that he feels safe so close to Levi. His heart dances in his chest, Levi brushes his hair again, this time slower, his fingers lingering under Eren’s jaw.

“Okay?” he whispers, as if he’d ask permission for his closeness and Eren nods lazily. Levi’s fingers trace then Eren’s jaw, the other hand going up and cupping his face. And Eren knows, he definitely knows Levi is going to kiss him and he should be scared, but he’s not. And exactly when he finishes his thought in his mind, Levi’s warm lips are over his, touching tentatively at first, then more firmly when Eren responds. He doesn’t know for how long they kiss, but when Levi gives him a bit of space to let him breathe and pecks his cheek, Eren can taste the other on his lips and figures that no one will ever make him feel so lost and so free as Levi did just now.


	9. Merlot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people! It's Saturday, which means chapter 9 is here. Things get complicated...enjoy :D  
And don't forget feedback/comments are highly appreciated and make my days ;)  
Have a nice week! ^_^

The thrumming of the rain wakes Levi up, sheets crumpled around his legs. 9 on Sunday morning. He hasn’t woken up at 9 for years and he has an idea why this happened today.

_Eren._

Levi smiles knowing that he made the right decision. It could have been easy to avoid the obvious fact that he was attracted to the boy and leave everything pile in frustration. But it could have been wrong, so wrong – because Eren deserved the truth and because Levi also deserved it. So, he simply jumped in and turned their day out into a date. A nice, cute date with a boy who smiled and blushed and filled Levi’s stomach with warmth.

He knew it might get complicated for so many reasons: like the age difference, Eren’s personal problems, Levi’s hectic life.

The semester will soon be over, then came the summer when Levi had to get ready to leave for Seoul. And then from Seoul to Tokyo until April the next year. The future was suddenly uncertain, but Levi thinks he’s going to find a way.

He shifts in his bed, laying on his back and watching the drops of rain sliding down his window. Probably the most important thing he should take a mental note for is the fact that Eren is _a good kisser. _A naturally seductive good kisser. Levi licks his own lips as he remembers Eren’s sweet taste when he kissed him the second time in his car before rushing to his apartment. It wasn’t as reserved as the first one and Eren found the courage to lick Levi’s lips and let his tongue dive in, exploring, tasting. It sent shivers and electricity down Levi’s spine and turned his fragile mind into mud.

His phone vibrates shaking him from his day dreaming.

Bright Eyes: “your wish came true. no more burning sun.”

Before his eyes flash images with Eren’s flush when he asked for his number and the way he stuttered the “thanks” later, promising Levi he won’t pester him. _Although, Levi wanted to be pestered by Eren._

Levi: “Good morning to you too, mister no capital letters. How did you sleep?”

Bright Eyes: “1. your annoying teacher side is showing. 2. mornin’. i slept well. you?”

Levi: “Your bratty side is also showing. I slept fine…thinking of you.”

Levi grimaces at the last – he’s turning into a sappy shit, but he can bet Eren will blush reading the last part.

Bright Eyes: “*blushing as a tomato* jesus levi, do you have to tease me all the time?”

Levi: “Who said I was teasing? I only told you the truth. I slept because I was thinking of you and when I woke up I thought of you a bit more.”

Bright Eyes: “….i thought of you too. a lot.”

Bright Eyes: “omg! pls don’t think of smth dirty. i made it sound like that.”

Levi snorts, this boy thinks too much sometimes.

Levi: “Calm down, brat. Even if you’d wank thinking of me I wouldn’t mind. You’re at that age.”

Bright Eyes: “I DON’T WANK!! JESUS!”

Levi’s grin was bigger than the sun – Eren is such an easy teasing material.

Levi: “You don’t wank? I must date a saint then.”

Bright Eyes: “i’ll drop this only because you said you’re dating me…boo”.

Levi frowns – _the little fucker is not that innocent_.

Levi: “If you start using crappy pet names with me I’ll castrate you.”

Bright Eyes: “if you castrate me i won’t be able to wank thinking of you anymore :P”

Levi: “Cocky brat.”

Bright Eyes: “_your _cocky brat. i have to finish a shitty essay. talk 2 u later.”

Levi realizes the conversation ended two minutes ago and he’s still smiling like an idiot. And he doesn’t mind at all, in fact.

“Did you finally get laid? You look too happy” Hanji babbles as she literally throws herself on Levi’s sofa. He pinches her elbow:

“Shitty glasses, the shit you spit is more idiotic than ever.”

Hanji pinches him in response:

“You grumpy dwarf, then why are you smiling?”

Levi eyes flash at the implications of his height:

“I’ll fucking kill you, giraffe”.

They both stop, then start laughing hysterically because the bantering is so familiar with their high school arguments. When Hanji stops, she pats Levi’s knee:

“Now, tell me. Something must have happened.”

Levi gets up:

“I’ll tell you after a glass of wine.”

Hanji approves with a hum and Levi goes into the kitchen and brings two glasses and a bottle of Merlot that Kenny brought from his restaurant and goes back to the living room.

“So?” Hanji asks licking her lips after a sip of wine.

“So, I asked Eren for a date.”

Hanji’s eyes look like they are going to pop out her head. Levi raises a finger to stop the obvious flow of questions.

“He needed glasses. Doctor Kruger told me the last time. I let him avoid the problem in the two weeks of his arm recovery, but then yesterday I woke up and dragged him in my car. And after I just told him we’d go on a date.”

Hanji’s grin is very creepy and Levi knows already what she wants to ask:

“Did you kiss?”

Levi narrows his eyes and Hanji shoves him into the other side of the sofa:

“OMG! You kissed and you don’t want to tell me.”

Levi growls:

“You’re crazy, woman! Yes, we kissed. So what?! Do you have to shove me in my own apartment?”

Hanji sticks her tongue:

“If I don’t use violence you don’t talk.”

“Thank you. Making me sound like a masochist is so much better.”

Hanji rolls her eyes and pushes the matter:

“How was it?”

Her chocolate eyes are fixed on Levi’s, like she wants to crack his head and see what’s inside.

“Well, not bad” Levi teases, sipping in his wine until the suspense makes Hanji growl at him “fine, Shitty Glasses. It was good. To good for the brat’s own good.”

Hanji hums in approval:

“Kids nowadays. Tongue? No tongue?”

Levi almost spits his wine:

“What the hell, I’m not telling you that?!”

“So tongue and he French kisses better than you, who were born in France.”

“Fuck you, Hanji” Levi snarls in frustration because he can’t keep a thing hidden with this damn woman and she wriggles her eyebrows:

“I’d fuck you with pleasure, but I think I’d be better if I let Eren do that.”

Levi hits her in the shin, _hard._

He doesn’t meet Eren until Wednesday that week – Eren has to study for finals and pass the first two and Levi is also busy. Still, they talk on the phone once and through texts every day. Levi manages to finish earlier Wednesday and rushes to “Croquant”, where Eren returned, despite his busy study schedule. Levi suspects it is because Eren doesn’t have any other income.

It’s pouring rain outside and in the coffee shop there are only the ones who were trapped inside by the storm. The rest of the city seems deserted except the millions of cars that overflow the boulevards.

_Marleyans hate to get their precious asses wet._

When Levi enters “Croquant” at the counter is Farlan, who receives him with a too wide grin.

“I suppose you’re not looking for me” he says with a wicked wink.

Levi narrows his eyes:

“I don’t want to know what stupid rumor Hanji spread.”

Farlan barks a laugh and adds:

“If it wasn’t for my hint, mon ami, you’d still piss yourself how to talk to him.”

Levi’s lips form a thin line and Farlan laughs again:

“He’s in the storage room, Romeo.”

When he enters the storage room Eren rummages in a box for a pack of coffee beans and it’s with his back to Levi. He sneaks inside and covers Eren’s eyes with his hands. Eren gasps at first in surprise, then it feels like he figures who is it. He circles Levi’s waist with his arms in an awkward reversed hug and murmurs:

“Mmm, a hot teacher came to visit me, I suppose?”

Levi rolls his eyes, even if Eren can’t see him and asks:

“Since when you’re so flirty?”

Eren snorts:

“Always been, you didn’t know.”

Levi releases him and Eren turns around, only to be pulled down by Levi in a heated, yet restrained kiss. He tastes like coffee and something sweet, probably chocolate, Levi figures and the boy lets out a little whimper when Levi’s hands circle his neck. He starts smiling in the kiss and Levi smiles too, like an infatuated idiot he is. He breaks the kiss with a last peck on Eren’s soft lips:

“Come on, Farlan will kick my ass if I keep you here longer.”

Eren shrugs, still smiling:

“I don’t even remember what I was doing here.”

But he turns and takes the coffee beans packs he was looking for, heading back to the counter and asking Levi who goes to the other side:

“What are you doing here? Thought you’re working later today too.”

“Finished earlier and figured I’m a bad boyfriend if I let you go back home in a smelly bus in this weather.”

Farlan, who is arranging the coffee packs behind the counter mocks them with a gag:

“You sound like two love birds. Gayer than gay love birds.”

Levi gives him a defiant look:

“Don’t like, don’t listen.”

Farlan sticks his tongue out.

“Mature” Levi mocks him while Eren snorts at their antics.

“Where is Isabel?” Levi asks then.

“Home. She got flu” Farlan says with a grimace.

“Is she alright?” the pianist asks, trying not too stare at Eren’s ass when he leans in to take something beyond the counter. The skinny jeans he wears doesn’t do much with hiding his body. Levi tears his eyes away just in time – Farlan fixes him with a playful look.

“She’s fine. Some really ugly snot, but fine.”

Levi crinkles his nose:

“Disgusting.”

Farlan barks another laugh and goes back into the office, leaving Eren and Levi on both sides of the counter.

“When does your shift ends, Eren?”

“One more hour” he says, then scratches his nape “Levi, if you’re busy please don’t waste your time waiting for me, I-“ and he stops and closes his mouth shut when Levi gives him _the look._

He buys a green tea and sits at one of the tables, the closest to the counter, checking his emails on the phone. From time to time, he glances at Eren who serves the wet customers that enter.

_What a beautiful kid._

A half an hour passes like that, with customers coming in with large umbrellas or drenched clothes, all ordering hot drinks. Eren moves fluidly behind the counter, smiling and preparing drinks, looking nothing like the dejected boy Levi saw in the hospital bed weeks ago. He figures what a big impact must have the shit who attacked Eren over the boy and shakes the thought away, hoping that maybe one of these days he’ll find a way to help Eren.

As he breaths in the smell of coffee and rain from the room, Levi sees how two boys, holding hands enter. One of them has a lot of freckles and has such a gentle look that Levi thinks he’s the male version of freaking mother Theresa. The other one, though, makes Levi wrinkle his nose because he has an arrogant look in his pale brown eyes and reminds the pianist of a horse, with his long, pale face.

The Mother of Freckles sits gracefully at a table while Horse Face shoves his tongue down his throat in a too possessive - too flashy kiss, then heads to the counter to order.

Levi notices immediately how Eren’s freezes in place when Horse Face approaches. Something makes him tense too, although he waits patiently to see what’s going on. Maybe Eren’s mood shift was just his mind playing tricks.

The stranger seems to recognize Eren too and a lopsided disgusted smile appears on his lips. He orders then waits patiently for the drinks to be ready. Levi doesn’t like a bit how he follows Eren’s every move, but well, sometimes there are assholes like that.

Horse Face goes back to his table and sits down. He hands the drink to Mother of Freckles and takes a sip from his drink too.

For some reason Levi can’t take his eyes off him. Something is wrong with this motherfucker and something is wrong with Eren. He sits behind the counter with a frown that shows both some sort of fear and something else, close to discomfort.

Two more sips and Horse Face gets up with his eyes flashing in anger and heads to the counter. Eren tries to ignore him as he serves another customer, but the motherfucker shoves, _shoves_ her aside and throws the content of his cup in Eren’s face and all over his shirt.

In a minute Levi’s blood boils and he’s near the stranger, fierce grip on the forearm that holds the now empty cup and flashes in his eyes.

“What the fuck to you think you’re doing, piece of shit?” he snarls and he knows he’s damn angry because he can’t recognize his own voice.

The stranger’s eyes look like their pop out of his skull and he tries to free his arm from Levi’s deathly grip:

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, you son of a bitch?” he spits in Levi’s face.

Levi turns his eyes to Eren who sits there, coffee dribbling from his hair down his neck and a terrified look in his eyes:

“Eren, do you know this motherfucker?”

“Aaaaah” the stranger snarls at Eren “found yourself a bodyguard, isn’t it, Princess?!”

Eren winces and tries to answer when Horse Face interrupts him, growling again at Levi:

“You better let me go, my friend, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t fuck you well enough for this. I’m actually sure he doesn’t fuck you _at all.”_

Levi clenches his jaw. This must be an ex or someone Eren refused to sleep with. Levi recognizes anywhere a frustrated bastard.

“I’m not your friend, you piece of dog shit. I asked you a question.”

He’s sure now he’ll punch this guy today and move his teeth a bit. The other customers are staring, some of them scared while the girl who Eren served sits still near the counter.

Horse Face moves his other hand on Levi’s, gripping and trying to free himself.

“You better let me go, you cockhead. Beside, this little slut here made me a horrible coffee. This is not how you treat your customers.”

He then tries to push Levi and free himself again, jaw clenching and eyes narrowing, flaring with fury when he realizes Levi doesn’t even budge under his movements.

“LET ME GO, YOU COCKHEAD!!” he hurls trying finally to punch Levi in the face.

Someone screams:

“Jean, no!!” as Levi frees him to dodge the punch and another one that comes. At the third attempt he catches Horse Face fist in another fierce grip and then pushes him aside.

Farlan rushes from the storage room, hearing the noise and stares perplexed at the view:

“What the hell is going on here?”

Horse Face spits at him:

“This freaking barista made me a shitty coffee and this fucker takes his side.”

Farlan’s eyes dart from Levi to Eren, then to Horse Face:

“He made you a shitty drink and you had to throw that in his face?!”

Levi releases Horse Face for the second time and looks at Farlan. He’s friend is also angry, voice rough when he speaks again:

“You get the hell out of my coffee shop otherwise I’ll call the police and denounce you for assaulting my employer”.

At that Horse Face barks a laugh and launches towards Farlan, probably to hit him when Levi hits the back of his knees, then catches one of his hands and pushes him with his face in the floor and his knee pressing firmly on his back. Horse Face groans and starts cursing, stopping then and breathing through flaring nostrils. Suddenly it gets silent in the room, everyone gaping at the sight when Levi growls:

“Listen to me very well, you bastard. You have 1 minute to get your boyfriend and leave. And if you ever come back or ever touch Eren I’m going to pull out of your filthy mouth every fucking teeth you have.”

The named boyfriend shakes near Levi and rushes to help Horse Face to get up when Levi releases him.

The pianist feels his blood boiling and watches Horse Face as he stumbles, pushed by his boyfriend out of the coffee shop. He goes behind the counter and takes Eren in his arms:

“Are you ok? Did it burn you?”

He takes a cloth and wipes Eren face and hair, realizing, helplessly, that Eren will need a shower. But what concerns Levi even more is that Eren looks empty, not moving as Levi cleans him, eyes frozen on an indefinite point.

“Farlan, call the police.”

“Are you sure?” Farlan asks uncertain.

“He assaulted Eren and then he wanted to punch you. Don’t let him get away. I’ll call Kenny.”

Hearing the name of his uncle Farlan swallows and nods.

“Good evening. I want to press charges for an assault in my coffee shop?”….

***

Eren sits silently on his chair as Levi drives on the highway to Shiganshina. He feels ashamed, _so ashamed. _ He knew, he freaking knew something it’s going to happen because he was too happy in the last three weeks. He was too happy and he had to pay for it, because someone like him it’s not allowed to be too happy for too long. But he dragged Levi in this and maybe put Levi’s public image in danger. What if Jean goes to a freaking tabloid and talks about this? What if Levi’s career will suffer because he dated someone so shitty as Eren?

He follows the rhythmic movement of the windshields and the drops of water that fall on the window near him and realizes his cheeks are wet with tears. He hates himself and he hates his life. His hair is sticky on his forehead and he smells like coffee and rain.

He let himself dragged by Levi into his car and couldn’t find the courage to refuse him when he told Eren he’s going to drive him home.

Great, just one more thing he has to hate himself for.

Levi has his eyes on the road, breathing steadily, although Eren notices how angry he is judging by the firm line of his jaw and the way his grip on the wheel turns his knuckles white.

“I am so sorry, Levi” he breaks the silence with his shaky voice “so sorry.”

Levi inhales and unclenches the wheel:

“There is nothing to be sorry for.”

“It is” Eren retorts immediately “it is because if he goes to some reporter with this story he’s going to ruin your career.”

Levi turns his eyes on Eren’s and then back on the road.

“Do you think this is what I care about now, the media?! Fuck him. He can go to the fucking President with this. I don’t give a fuck. What I care about it’s y-“

“You shouldn’t” Eren interrupts him with a cold tone “you shouldn’t care.”

Levi knuckles turn white again and he sneers:

“I shouldn’t care?!” he looks like he is ready to say something cruel then clenches his jaw and breathes in. Eren wants him to be upset, wants him to be angry, so that they can break up when their relationship hasn’t even begin. He wants to be left alone because this is what he deserves.

It seems Levi doesn’t think like that, because when he speaks his voice is more calm than before:

“Eren, listen to me. I’m not going to tell you this ever again and I’m not going to justify myself on this matter ever again. I’m not here to patronize you, I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to date you and dating you means I care, because if I don’t care then I am a heartless bastard and you don’t deserve that. I’m not asking you to marry me or to spend the rest of your days with me if you don’t want that. I don’t want that either, _yet. _ I know we just barely know each other. I also know you don’t trust me and that is completely fair because I don’t trust you either. But I want to.

What I mean with all of this is that even if we’ve barely started this, I am serious. I’ve never been that kind of guy who likes to mess around. To me is go hard or go home. Which means I care about you, you are my boyfriend and I’ll try to respect you and take care of you and understand you as much as I can. It also means I expect you to respect me too and to treat me as good as you can and to tell me if you don’t want something between us. I’ll never hurt you or lie to you or cheat on you. And if I don’t want this to keep going, I’ll tell you the truth. I want to make clear one more thing, I know this probably sounds uncomfortable, but it need to be said. If we date it doesn’t mean you have to have sex with me if you don’t want to or don’t feel like it. You don’t owe me your body if we’re dating, you don’t have to do anything sexual with me because of that and I’m not going to force you into anything. I know people think if you’re gay you just shove it into your ass without emotional consequences. I am not that kind of guy.

You may not like it or feel like it’s not important, but there is an age difference between us. I am older and I feel responsible for you. We’ll have sex when you want, if you want and how you want it. I will also protect you and give you advice when it’s needed and, again, not because I want to patronize you, but because I simply have more life experience than you do.”

Levi takes a break and inhales deeply again, silver eyes still on the road.

“You don’t have to be sorry for what happened tonight or for any other accident will happen. You also have to stop telling me you owe me something – you owe me nothing. If I don’t want or don’t have money to pay for our food or gas or whatever I’m going to tell you. But if I want to do it, I’ll do it. I’ve been a student too, I don’t expect you to have the same income as I do. It’s fine, it’s natural, it has to be like that. The things that I paid for or I’ll pay for, I’ll do it because I’m attracted to you and because you’re younger and I want you to keep your money for you – to pay for school or loan or whatever. I have too much money and I want to help you. I’d have helped you with a lunch or with a drive home even if we wouldn’t be dating or we won’t date anymore.

I want you to be free with me Eren, I want you to be you. Just you… and maybe to let me be myself. And if you come to dislike that, I want you to tell me <<Levi, let’s stop this>> and we’ll stop. I’ll fight for you if I’ll consider I have to and I’ll let you go if I feel you truly want us to be over.”

Because they are stopping due to the traffic, Levi uses the moment to bore his metallic eyes into Eren’s:

“But most important Eren, I want to be your _friend_. More than anything else. And as a friend I want you to stand up for yourself. Don’t sit there and watch. I’m not telling you to jump and kill someone or do what I did tonight, but stand up for yourself. Who was that fucker, Eren?”

Eren swallows and whisper:

“My..ex. Jean. Jean Kirstein. We..broke up in high school. He broke up with me.”

“Because you didn’t want to sleep with him” Levi adds and Eren nods embarrassed.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Eren. I didn’t sleep with my first boyfriend either. Actually, I had sex for the first time with someone that wasn’t even my boyfriend, but I did it because I felt wanted and because he respected me. Do you understand? What happened tonight it’s not your fault, it’s his. Because he is a frustrated fucking piece of shit, a pitiful bastard who decided to take revenge on you for something that happened almost two years ago. And for a stupid reason. If he was as good as he thinks he is, he’d have waited for you to be ready to sleep with him. Okay?”

Levi’s eyes are warm now and he puts a reassuring pale hand on Eren’s knee, then turns his head back on the road and let’s Eren digest everything.

They arrive after a long three hour drive because of the storm. Levi parks in front of Eren’s apartment and waits. Eren sits with his hands in his lap and fumbles with his fingers. He knows Levi waits for him to say something. And he also knows he doesn’t want to be alone and to cry until morning, to cry because of Jean and this shitty day and his shitty life.

“Levi..will you…will you spend the night with me?...” Eren starts flushing “just..for..sleep. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Levi reaches and lifts Eren’s chin, brushing his sticky hair out of his forehead:

“Of course I’ll stay with you tonight” he says and kisses Eren’s temple.


	10. Nutella and toast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guuys! :D Weekend feels goooood!  
Here is another fluffy chapter with our fav boys and some interactions with Mikasa.  
Enjoy and don't be afraid to leave comments, kudos, feedback. And thank you to the ones that take their time to leave some words for me every week :D

That night they don’t talk about Jean anymore or about anything else. Eren falls asleep in Levi’s arms and Levi lets him. The next morning when the alarm wakes them up, Eren is fully sprawled over Levi and stops blushing and stuttering excuses only when Levi shuts him up with a heated kiss.

They drive back to Marley, moody clouds announcing another stormy day, most probably. They listen to the radio and talk a bit about summer plans. Eren smiles and even jokes here and there. Levi snorts and throws in some crude comments. But he knows it – that this is the silence before the storm. Eren will break down and it’ll be violent because he let everything pile up for so long.

Isabel used to be like that when she was young – she would shove her fillings aside until everything would blow up in her face one day and Farlan and Levi would have to pick up the pieces. Levi suspects with Eren will be worse, because beside the shit with Jean, he has other problems, more painful that he avoids looking at.

Levi gives him a kiss on the temple before Eren gets out of the car and heads to a new exam. Levi is worried – thanks to the show from the previous day Eren didn’t read his papers again. If he gets a bad score it won’t be nice.

The rest of the day passes in the monotone rhythm of the rain and Levi’s recap with his students for the last exam. Then he books a room for the exam and is ready to leave for “Croquant” for lunch when Hanji calls him:

“Shitty Glasses” Levi says instead of a proper greeting.

“Hi, Peanut. I’m near your uncle’s restaurant. Do you want to have lunch with me?”

Levi decides his uncle salmon Quiche will do for lunch.

“Be there in 10 minutes.”

He texts Eren, figuring probably he’s on his way to the coffee shop if he finished his exam:

Levi: “I’m going to have lunch with Hanji. I’ll drive you back home tonight. Wait for me, ok?”

Eren: “i s’pose i can’t say no. i’ll wait for you.”

Levi: “Smartass.”

Eren: “me? never.”

Levi: “A bad liar also, even in writing.”

Eren: “you are too kind for you own good, levi, otherwise i’d have a lot of things to say.”

Levi snorts because Eren is so bitchy only through text messages. Otherwise, he blushes and stutters and makes Levi melt.

Levi: “Adorable.”

Eren: “hope your lunch gets stuck in your throat”

Levi has a comeback to that, but it’s too dirty for the moment of their relationship, so he just wishes Eren a good day and heads to “Le Titan”. Hanji is already there, sipping coffee and grinning widely when Levi approaches. He sits and a waiter comes to give him the menu. Through the clutter that comes from the kitchen Levi hears the voice of his uncle, making a commentary about someone’s lazy ass. They order two salmon Quiche, water and coffee for Levi. The moment the waiter is gone Hanji gives him a look:

“What’s going on? Did you and Eren already fought?”

Levi frowns at her and explains:

“No, but I was ready to punch his ex in the face. I actually shoved him with the face on the floor.”

Hanji’s eyes grow bigger behind her glasses and she hums:

“Uhhh, violence. Tell me more.”

“I was at “Croquant” waiting for the brat to finish his shift. This motherfucker comes in, orders and then goes straight to the counter and spills the coffee on Eren, saying that it was bad. The kid is taken aback and just sits there, coffee dripping from his hair while the motherfucker humiliates him.”

Hanji starts frowning and biting her lip, making Levi glad that she is as angry as he was.

“I lose my shit and catch the fucker by the hand. He spits more shit about Eren fucking me or something. Farlan comes in and he warns the fucker to get out otherwise he’ll call the police. The fucking..” Levi clenches his jaw “the fucking _Horse Face _wants to hit Farlan. This is where I shoved him on the ground.”

He inhales deeply and drinks some water. After a quiet moment Hanji pushes her glasses on her nose:

“And Eren?”

Levi shrugs:

“He worries me. He started to say he’s sorry in the car and that his ex might go to the media and do some shit. I told him it doesn’t matter, because it doesn’t, Hanji, really it doesn’t. What worries me is him. He doesn’t speak, he sleeps a lot when something emotional hits him hard and then, this morning he said nothing about what happened.”

The waiter arrives with their food and Hanji hums in appreciation:

“Give him a bit of time, Levi. I’m sure he’ll tell you everything. But, I have to ask, what was the deal with the ex?”

Levi swallows the full bite of Quiche he took and answers:

“Oh, God – I’m telling you kids nowadays are all about sex. This fucking bastard did that to Eren because when they were dating Eren didn’t want to have sex with him. They broke up because of that, but it seems the fucker is so frustrated he wanted to take revenge on Eren.”

Hanji frowns even more:

“You are fucking kidding me..”

“Not.”

“And now?”

Levi slumps in his chair:

“I don’t know. I’ll try to be there for him as much as I can, to make his understand he can talk to me. But you know, it’s his choice. I can’t force him to tell me what’s going on.”

Hanji nods and tries to comfort Levi with a smile:

“I’m sure he’ll tell you what’s going on eventually.”

Levi can’t do much, so he just hopes.

***

The school year ends in rain, but at least it ends well for Eren. One thing worked for him – he took all his exams and will still receive a scholarship in his second year. He can’t say he is happy, but at least he is grateful. He knows if it wasn’t for the scholarship, he wouldn’t be in school.

It’s Sunday, first weekend of summer break. He spends the morning in his bed, thinking about Levi’s grey eyes last night, when he kissed him goodbye. He looked worried, but didn’t say a thing to Eren. They are ok, as far as Eren can tell. After the episode with Jean he tried to avoid the subject, as much as he could, although at first he could see Levi tensing and trying to bring that up.

Eren didn’t want to bring that up, he still doesn’t want to bring that up ever again as he doesn’t want the episode with the hospital to be brought up. But it will, he’s sure of it and he can see it in the way Levi’s grey orbs pierce his soul every time they bore into Eren’s. Levi deserves the truth, but Eren knows the truth will end them. It can’t be in any other way, right? Would Levi, a successful pianist with a successful future ahead, want to stay near somebody like Eren, who has no family and no future?

No matter how good Levi is and how much he cares for Eren, he won’t stay. So, if it’s just one more week or one more month or until Levi leaves for Korea or Japan, it’s enough for Eren. He never got everything he wanted anyway…

He sits up in the middle of his bed and watches the morning sky – blue with traces of white clouds here and there. The sun is up, bathing the room with shades of honey. He takes his new glasses from the night stand and puts them on – Levi took him yesterday to take them from the Clinique.

He feels weird with them on his nose, but he sees better – the outline of things is more clear and he can see now what it’s in the distance. _ Too bad he can’t see what’s in the future…_

He knows tomorrow will be back at “Croquant” in the morning, he talked to Isabel and Historia to change his shift. Historia couldn’t come in the morning, so she was replaced by Ymir. Eren will begin his shift at 8 until 16, when he can go home. It’s easier this way and he’ll avoid the traffic between Marley and Shiganshina.

He’s thinking he didn’t paint in a while when someone knocks at his door. Getting out of bed with a sight he arranges his crumpled T-shirt and puts some shorts over his boxers. It may be Levi, but it’s still too early for him to be here.

He opens the door.. it’s not Levi.

“Mikasa?”

Mikasa stands in the threshold, wearing and oversized T-shirt and over the knee denim shorts. Her raven hair, once a pixie, it’s now a bit longer. It makes Eren realize he hasn’t seen her in a while. Armin too.

“Are you going to let me in or what?”

Eren invites her in and sits on the edge of his bed, frowning:

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m fine, thanks, what about you?” she mocks him, her dark eyes flashing with a bit of anger.

Eren scratches his nape:

“Sorry, it’s just I didn’t expect you here.”

Mikasa takes her black Vans off and sits near Eren on the bed:

“You haven’t called in two weeks almost” she observes with a neutral tone.

“I haven’t” Eren approves “ I had a shitty end of school year.”

“Yeah, that and your new boyfriend who keeps you busy.”

Eren’s neck snaps towards Mikasa:

“How do you know that?”

“So it’s true…” she says, running a hand through her bangs “ Armin figured things out.”

The last time Eren saw Armin was a few days after he was discharged and Armin’s grandfather came to check on him. He didn’t tell Armin anything except that he stayed with Levi and that sometimes Levi waits for him and drives him home. But Armin was smart, too smart not to figure.

“That and the fact that we ran two days ago on Jean and his freckled boyfriend and he said something about you hooking up with your bodyguard.”

Eren pales at that – he really, truly hoped Jean got back to New York and he didn’t have to worry about him. Mikasa notices his struggle:

“I wanted to punch him in the face. He said he threw coffee in your face and your stupid boyfriend will hear from his lawyer.”

Eren pales even more, a claw suddenly gripping his chest, making it hard to breathe.

“What happened, Eren?” Mikasa asks, eyes worried, a hand gently touching Eren’s knee. “You don’t talk to us anymore, you don’t hang with us. You suffer on your own and now I have to find out you’re dating a man older than you, as much as Armin told me. He didn’t say much, guess he didn’t want to betray you or something…” she adds, a bit insulted.

Eren fills his lungs with air then lets all out. He gets up and goes to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Mikasa’s dark eyes follow him with concern.

“Did you eat breakfast?” he asks, opening the fridge and collecting a jar of Nutella.

“It’s not what I asked” Mikasa observes coldly.

Eren turns to her and growls:

“I’ll give you your damn answers, but I also need to eat. Do you want breakfast or not?”

The girl seems taken aback by his sudden outburst, frowns and nods.

Eren goes through the mechanics of making toast and spreading Nutella on it and then hands a plate with two slices for Mikasa. He keeps the other plate for him and starts talking, avoiding Mikasa’s eyes.

“Jean came to “Croquant” with Marco. I truly hoped if I ever have to meet him again he’ll keep things civil. He didn’t. I made him a drink and I know what I made him. The drink was ok, but he took two sips out of it and came back throwing it in my face. Levi was there.”

Hearing the name one of Mikasa’s eyebrows twitches, but Eren keeps going.

“He got angry and caught Jean’s arm. Jean started insulting Levi, then Farlan came and asked Jean to leave. He got aggressive again and wanted to punch Farlan. Levi shoved his face on the floor. Marco took Jean out. End of story.”

Mikasa finishes her toast and stares at Eren. He expects something, anything, but then Mikasa observes:

“Please, tell me Levi’s last name is not Ackerman.”

Eren takes the last bite of his toast:

“It is, why?”

Mikasa’s lips form a thin line:

“He’s my cousin.”

Eren chokes on his last bite, crumbles of the toast with Nutella going wrong. He coughs and drinks some water and then:

“WHAT?! But your last name is Yamazaki..”

Mikasa gives him a look, as if she’d speak to a child:

“Yes, because mum remarried when I was three and we moved here.”

Eren stares at her and she stares back, then inquires:

“He’s older than you..and a very complicated person. Plus very close to a celebrity.”

Eren shrugs:

“I don’t care, about the celebrity part, I mean. Moreover, it might end sooner than you think.”

Mikasa folds her arms:

“Why do you think that? As far as I know Levi is pretty serious when it comes to relationships.”

Eren sighs:

“Because it’s me, that why..”.

Mikasa narrows her eyes:

“And because it’s you I think it’s not going to end so soon. Really, Eren, if Jean was a dick it doesn’t mean it was your fault.”

“Do you see Levi staying with me forever? Come on, Mikasa” Eren patronizes her.

She snaps her fingers, her eyes flashing when she speaks:

“I don’t know what Levi’s intentions are, but if you started this thinking that it’ll end no matter what, then if you break up it’s your fault, not Levi’s.”

She gets up and heads to the door and Eren thinks she’s just going to walk out and slam it. Instead, she turns midway and bores her black eyes into Eren’s:

“Figure out what the hell is going on with you. Whether is about your stupid father or anything else. Talk to someone, talk to us, talk to Levi. Do something about this pain or you’re going to lose everyone and for a stupid reason.”

She puts her shoes back on and walks away, slamming the door.

***

“Jean Kirstein comes from a lawyer family. His father had some big cases, but not enough to turn him into a threat for you. At least not for what you did” Kenny says with a grin, then inhales deeply from his cigarette.

Levi clicks his tongue and growls:

“I should’ve punched him in the face.”

Kenny snickers:

“For abusing your muse? You should’ve killed him.”

Levi knows his uncle is joking and he’s ready to say something equally sarcastic in response when the bell rings.

Kenny fixes his eyes on the door and asks:

“Where you expecting someone, lad?”

Levi heads to the door and answers:

“No, but who knows.”

He opens it and he frowns when he finds Mikasa, the cousin that he hadn’t seen in years frowning back at him. She enters without being invited and coldly greets Kenny when she spots him on the chair near the counter:

“Hello, uncle. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Kenny looks dumbstruck, as if he can’t figure where he knows Mikasa from, then asks:

“Are you Louise’s girl?”

Mikasa nods:

“Glad to see you still remember her name.”

Levi stops in front of her, asking carefully:

“What are you doing here, Mikasa? I haven’t seen you since you were 12.”

Kenny approaches, keeping his mouth shut, waiting for the same answer Levi is waiting for. Mikasa folds her arms and declares:

“You are dating Eren, and Eren is not ok. I want to know what your intentions are.”

Levi expected anything, but not this.

“How do you know Eren?”

“We grew up together” Mikasa explains “I’ve known him since we were 5.”

Kenny makes a sound of appreciation and stares at both of them. Levi narrows his eyes:

“I don’t know why I have to explain myself in front of you, Mikasa.”

She clenches her jaw, her black eyes starting to throw fire:

“You’ll have to explain yourself in front of me because I care about Eren and I know he is not a toy for anyone who wants to play with him.”

_How dare she?!_

“I’m not going to play with Eren, Mikasa. If you’d spend more than 5 minutes with me, you’d have figured that out.”

“Then what do you want to do with him?” she pushes and Levi swears if they have to go for a fist to fist combat Mikasa would probably win.

He exhales in exasperation and side glances at Kenny who looks at them amused:

“Can I offer you a coffee and we’ll discuss it like two adults? I suppose if you are here you have a good reason.”

Mikasa reluctantly approves and they head for the kitchen.

When Levi starts speaking again he makes sure that Mikasa gets the message. Yes, he understands that she cares about Eren, but no, she’s not going to let her interrogate him in any way or deny his feelings for Eren.

“If you know Eren since you were kids, I can fully understand why you’re concerned about me and him, but I am not here to play with Eren. I care about him and I’m concerned about his wellbeing as much as you are.”

Mikasa’s black eyes go sharper:

“He told me…about Jean and you defending him.”

Levi grits his teeth:

“It was something that I would’ve done even if I didn’t know Eren. That fucker though it’s not the one that concerns me the most.”

Levi knows it’s tricky to push his luck with the hospital episode and Eren’s aggressor, but if Mikasa cares about him that much, maybe she can provide him some answers.

Near them, Kenny takes out another cigarette and starts smoking, while Mikasa fixes Levi:

“What concerns you then?” she inquires.

Levi decides it’s time to go hard or go home.

“Who is Eren’s aggressor? Who beats him?”

Mikasa freezes, lips forming a thin line that resembles so much Levi’s. Kenny analyzes both of them with scrutinizing eyes, as if he’d watch a duel. The girl shifts a bit in her place, suddenly seeming restless. Then, she runs a pale finger through her raven hair and bores her eyes into Levi’s:”

“I can’t tell you. This is something that Eren needs to tell you, if he decides you can hear this story. If he trusts you. I don’t, but this doesn’t matter either. Eren should be the one to trust you and to decide everything else…” she stops for a moment, her eyes mapping Levi’s expression, then Kenny’s. When she speaks again her voice has a gentle undertone, so much different from the cold one used until then “but Levi, the problem that Eren has..what he feels..how he feels. You might not understand it in the first place. I know you’ve been through your own hell, but Eren has his own hell too. If you don’t understand, it doesn’t mean you can’t help him. Surprisingly, I don’t trust you, but I do believe you’re the only one who can help him and make him talk. Although, it might take a while, so, just be there for him. And when you find out, try to keep your calm.”

The last part sounds like a grim prevision, a sad ending. Mikasa gets up and marches to the door, leaving Kenny and Levi in the kitchen, still following her with silver gazes. She opens it and greets both of them coldly, closing the door with an empty click.

“Well, she’s a brat just like you” Kenny concludes bemused.


	11. Iced Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! I can't believe November is here. Also, with this chapter we get into the second half of this fanfic. Hope you still enjoy it :D  
I have to warn you, except this chapter some sad times are coming for our boys, but trust me, it's important for them.  
Thank you for giving feedback this week and I can't wait to read your opinion on this one.  
Have a nice week and a good month! ^_^

Eren is cleaning one of the tables outside the coffee shop when he notices Levi approaching. He wears a white T-shirt, short grey sweatpants, Converses and black sunglasses. Eren swallows repeatedly – _if this is not the definition of a hot guy, don´t know what it is._

In the last week they managed to forget about the episode with Jean and to spend a lot of time together, now that both of them had more free time. And Eren simply enjoyed those moments, living them fully, even if, a nagging voice in his mind told him it was only an illusion. When summer will end it might end between them too. Levi will leave for Korea and Eren will be alone again, dealing with the second year of University and his life. But, this is his life – a constant series of lost things and sadness.

When Levi arrives near him, he takes off his sunglasses and Eren is dumbstruck again by his eyes, that now look surreal, silver and small specks of blue swirling together in the bright light of the June sun. Levi leans in and kisses Eren temple, his lips soft and gentle:

“Hey, sexy barista!” he jokes with the boy “how was your day?”

Eren gives himself a mental punch and remembers he can actually speak:

“It was good. What are you doing here? You should’ve told me you’re coming” _so I can mentally prepare myself…_

“I wanted to surprise you.”

Eren grins:

“Surprise me, then.”

Levi licks his lips and leans in to whisper in Eren’s ear:

“I want to kidnap you until tomorrow. I was thinking to go to my apartment, turn on the AC because this freaking sun is burning us and spend some cozy time together. What do you think?” he finishes with a little nibble on Eren’s earlobe and the boy is certain he’ll collapse. It’s the first time Levi does something like this and Eren wants that to happen again (definitely), but he’d rather be sitting down so that he wouldn’t fall like a princess in distress.

He nods like a fool and mutters a high pitched “y-y-yes?”, making Levi chuckle as he follows him in the coffee shop, where Eren goes to change.

When he comes back, Levi is chatting with Isabel, and the girl’s eyes move from him to Levi and back. She makes a sound of appreciation and teases Levi:

“So, where are you taking our best barista?”

Levi pinches her elbow:

“Not your business, Isabel”.

Isabel sticks her tongue out and whines:

“Come on, Levi, tell me. I need to know where to find Eren if he needs to be saved.”

“Why would I need saving from Levi?” Eren asks innocently.

Isabel grins and wriggles her eyebrows in a very, _very,_ suggestive way:

“Sometimes he gets pretty wild and-“

Levi interrupts her, putting his hand over Isabel’s mouth and growling:

“Stop spitting shit, you lunatic!”

Not necessary to underline the fact that Eren’s cheeks are crimson as his mind thinks about the way Levi can _get wild _and it takes him a lot of willpower to stop those thoughts. Not because he wouldn’t _want_ those things with Levi, but because he doesn’t think Levi is attracted to him like that…_Nevermind._

Most probably Isabel licks Levi’s palm because he flinches and retracts it, with a disgusted expression and sneers:

“You savage!”

Isabel barks a laugh and teases again:

“Eren, seduce this brute and take him somewhere. Have fun you two!”

Levi takes Eren hand and they both walk to the car, not before Levi gives Isabel a slender pale proud middle finger.

Once settled in Levi’s car with the AC on, Eren gets a bit jittery and it doesn’t help that for a while Levi is silent, then, as the car gets into the main boulevard the pianist suddenly asks:

“Eren are you ok?”

“Y-y-yes?”

“Yes? You’re asking me?”

Eren scratches his nape:

“I’m…I mean it’s the first time I go to your apartment after.._that_ and I don’t know how to…be.”

At a red light Levi’s right hand move from the speed gear to Eren’s left tight and squeezes it reassuringly:

“You don’t need to be in any way. You need to be yourself. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, ok?” Levi says, giving a gentle smile to Eren at the end.

Eren nods and smiles back. They turn on the radio and hum through the songs until Levi parks in front of his building.

Eren heart is still beating fast and he’s still nervous, but the moment he enters Levi’s apartment, with Levi holding his hand and leading him to the guest bedroom, he starts to realize everything will be ok. On the bed, that is already familiar for Eren a pair of shorts similar to Levi’s and a teal tank top are waiting for him.

“Thought the tank top suited you, but if you don’t like it I can give you a T-shirt” Levi explains, scanning Eren’s reaction.

“No, it’s ok” the boy answers and turns to Levi, leaning in to kiss, not knowing exactly where the sudden courage comes from. His boyfriend’s lips are soft and taste a bit like iced tea and cherries, making Eren feel dizzy. Levi licks his way into his mouth and Eren’s knees start to tremble, his hands suddenly around Levi’s neck to search for support. The kiss prolongs for a few more minutes, until Eren feels completely aery and Levi starts to kiss his neck with featherlike touches, then he murmurs:

“I go change and wait for you in the living room, ok?”

Eren nods dumbly and stays a few moments on the edge of the bed, trying to make his brain function again, after Levi closes the door. He then changes and goes to the living room, where Levi turned the TV on and the afternoon news run on the screen.

“So, do you want an Iced Tea? I can’t promise it’ll be as good as yours, but I can promise I won’t poison you” Levi jokes.

Few moments later Eren is sipping on the promised drink while Levi scans his face, silver eyes turning stormy as he waits for Eren to give feedback. He blinks innocently, teasing Levi and the man senses the challenge immediately:

“You brat, you know how to get under my skin? Isn’t it?”

“Me?” Eren asks, lips turned into a grin and teal eyes big with wonder.

Levi shakes his head and then, eyes flashing, he leans in, like a predator, aiming for Eren’s earlobe and nipping at it, making Eren’s spine shiver. Eren fights the moan that threatens to escape his lips, instead letting out a gasp of air.

“So, how was it?” Levi asks seductively, licking the skin patch under Eren’s ear.

“Uhh.. good?” Eren mumbles mindlessly and Levi chuckles.

“Good. You are too easy to tease, you know that?” he says, eyes full of humor.

Eren pouts and retorts:

“Not my fault you are a manipulator.”

Levi barks a laugh and leads Eren to the piano:

“Ok, fine. I’ll play for you again so you’ll forget I am a manipulator.”

They sit on the chair and Levi flips through his music sheets, until he gets to something called “[Nuvole Bianche](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VR-6AS0-l4)”.

“It’s not my song, it’s played by Ludovico Einaudi, but I like it.”

Eren nods and inhales deeply, ready to see Levi transforming again in that surreal prince that tames the white and black keys of the piano. And when Levi starts playing he indeed transforms, because even if he wears summer clothes, he looks divine and pristine.

This song it’s slower than the other one and a bit sadder, but just like before, it lifts Eren’s mood. It’s like Levi is trying to tell him that, even if it’s hard, it’ll get better and easier because Levi is there to wipe his worries away with songs. His slender fingers, that Eren adores, dance again on the keys, like a prima ballerina, touching them gently, but firmly, caressing the instrument.

This time, when it’s over, Eren wraps his arms around Levi waist and pulls him in for an intense kiss and it’s the first time Levi looks taken aback.

They spend the rest of the evening chatting, listening to the news and then Levi cooks for him spaghetti Bolognese. And Eren forgets that this is meant to end somehow, because Levi’s presence it’s too powerful, too strong to dissipate easily, carved in his memory like a permanent sculpture.

***

Levi is happy to have Eren around him, is happy to see him smiling and joking and flirting. This is what Eren is supposed to do at his age, not worrying, suffering or being humiliated.

As they watch the new episode of “Game of Thrones” in the evening, Levi can think only of Eren eyes, sparkling in the golden light of his living room, Eren’s skin, honey shaded and brought to life by the teal color of the tank top, Eren, Eren, Eren.

Usually, Levi was always rational, every part of his life being planned or at least a bit organized. He never risked, never gambled, but with Eren he felt 20 again, making blind choices, not thinking of the consequences or of what people might say. The world was not just white and black, the same colors of the keys of the piano that he loved so much. Now the world was teal, like Eren eyes, was young and fresh like him, was happy as Eren’s childish grin or heated like his kisses or touches when he was getting braver. The world and Levi’s life was beautiful when Eren was there and Levi just hopes the boy will be there for a long time. Because willingly or not. Levi starts falling in love with him, _hard_ and he would do anything to keep and protect Eren.

Around 10.30 the boy starts dozing off on the sofa, his head falling on Levi’s shoulder, breath steady and face relaxed. He lets the boy sleep until the episode it’s over and then he nudges him lightly to wake:

“Eren, come on. Let’s go to bed.”

He slowly opens his eyes and fixes Levi:

“Can I sleep with you?”

And then he starts blushing:

“I mean- I mean-“

“Eren” Levi interrupts “I get what you mean. If you want to sleep together I don’t mind.”

Levi takes Eren’s hands into his and heads to his bedroom. Suddenly, the room looks different to him, because Eren stands near and his curious eyes follow the nude walls, the edges of the black furniture and the fluffy black rug at the feet of the bed. He knows this is not the first time Eren sees the room, but for some reason it seems the space looks different for him too. He sits timidly on the edge of the bed, shy eyes rising to bore into Levi’s.

Levi sits near him and let his eyes roam around the room while his heart, that started beating like a drum since he left the living room, is now on the verge of exploding. He wonders how many years have been since he felt nervous about being with a man in his room – probably too many to remember, because this boy is the first one in years who Levi trusts enough to let him slip in his life.

He turns to Eren who fumbles with the hem of his tank top. Levi takes one of Eren’s hands into his and brings it to his lips to dispose a gentle kiss on the wrist. A wave of goosebumps is forming on Eren’s skin and he exhales shuddering. He leans in to capture Levi’s lips in a kiss, both heated and teasing, while his hands find their usual place around Levi’s neck, bringing him closer.

Levi’s body is suddenly on fire and his brain is incapable to form any sort of normal, rational thought, except the familiar mantra of _Eren, Eren, Eren. _And Eren needs to choose where he wants this to go, because Levi is not going to push him into anything he doesn’t want. The boy is too important to take this choice away from him. Because it seems to Levi that Eren has never been with a man before, not all the way at least. And even if Levi wouldn’t be Eren’s first, it wouldn’t matter either, because Levi would still let him choose.

As if Eren would read his mind he breaks the kiss only to let out puffs of air and whispers:

“Levi, I..I”

Levi bore his eyes into Eren’s, trying to read him, to make sure that whatever decision he makes Eren will be ok with that.

The boy looks a bit disoriented until his eyes flash with determination and he takes Levi hand and leads it between his legs. Levi exhales loudly when his hand touches the bulge on Eren’s sweatpants and he makes a huge effort to keep his mind clear. Eren speaks in a rough voice, full with anticipation and lust:

“I’m not ready yet to go all the way with you, but..but I want you _somehow tonight_.”

Levi scans his face a bit and nods:

“Ok”.

He doesn’t want to have expectations, doesn’t want to think what they’ll do together, he just want to have Eren close and let things go naturally. So he helps the boy get on the bed and leans over him, taking in the way his long body shivers at the contact. Eren’s hands explore his back, travelling over his shoulders and down his spine. Levi kisses him deeply, letting his tongue play with Eren’s, tasting him, then he starts kissing Eren’s neck, making him let out a strangled moan. The boy’s hips go up, desperately looking for friction and when their erections touch Levi knows this will be the death for him. He takes off his T-shirt and tugs the hem of Eren’s tank top:

“Can I?”

Eren looks at him with lust filled eyes and answers eagerly:

“Yes, yes”.

The tank top is rapidly discarded and Levi resumes his previous exploration, going beyond Eren’s neck, licking his collarbone, then circling one of Eren’s nipples with his tongue. The sounds that Eren makes, the little whimpers and moans turn Levi on more than he ever thought it was possible. The pants that he wears feel too tight and the constant touch of Eren’s erection with his makes the feeling unbearable.

The boy seems not to know what to do with his hands, that are now tangled in Levi’s hair, then travel on his back again or on his chest, tracing the contour of Levi’s muscles. When his mouth moves to taste Eren’s other nipple, the boy’s voice resonate in Levi’s ear like a thunder:

“Levi, please, _please.”_

_ This boy will definitely be the death for me_ Levi thinks as he goes back up to kiss Eren and bit gently his lower lip as his hands go down and push Eren’s pants and underwear, enough to let his butt and erection spring free. Levi does the same with his own clothes and then everything turns hotter and blurry, as they move against each other, erections gliding and making both of them let out the most erotic sounds Levi has ever heard.

They aren’t even kissing anymore now, with Levi’s face hovering over Eren’s as he undulates over the boy, his ragged breath brushing Levi’s cheeks. He wraps his hand over their members and smears the precome to increase the friction and it doesn’t take more to find completion. He sees how Eren’s fists clutch around the sheets until his knuckles turn white and then Eren comes, eyes shut, head pushed into the pillows and mouth open, letting out a long strangled moan.

It’s everything that Levi needs to let go, member throbbing as he releases, collapsing after over Eren.

They stand in silence for a while, catching their breaths and taking in the sensation of body over body. Levi rises after a minute or two, kissing Eren’s neck and tasting the savor of his skin, which is now a little salty and musky.

Eren turns to look at Levi, hair disheveled and eyes glossy. The pianist is afraid that the boy might say he regrets this or that he went over the board, but instead his lover gives him the most seductive post-sex smile he ever saw: satiated and a bit shy.

Levi chuckles and pecks Eren’s nose, going up and searching in his night stand for the pack of wet wipes to clean them both.

When the yellow rays of the morning sun caress Levi’s eyelids the next day, the first thought that comes into his mind is that his life is not going to be the same. One thing, one little detail will change everything, every choice he will make from this moment on. And that choice is called Eren and it’s in his arms now, skin hot and soft under the touch. The boy had his head on the pillow, hidden in the hollow of Levi’s neck, his chocolate locks tangled in chaos. One hand is on Levi’s chest, fingers spread over his chest, while the other is under Eren’s cheek. His right leg is thrown carelessly over Levi’s- Eren is conquering his body. They wear just boxers, too worn out last night to put on something so ordinary and boring like pajamas.

And Levi is happy. The concept is fully strange for him, because beside his career, normally labeled as professional life, he never thought he can be happy _with someone._ But he is with this little boy that sleeps next to him, he is and if God does really exist, Levi thinks, then he definitely sent Eren to him.

He lets his finger trace the contour of Eren’s pink lips and disposes a peck on his temple, making him stir in his sleep and crack one teal eye open. He fixes Levi with the look of a kid who just woke up and doesn’t know why he had to ruin his slumber. Then, as realization hits him, his eyes grow wider and he stutters:

“Oh my-my-G-god, Levi! Work! Wo-“

Levi interrupts him with a chuckle and Eren frowns, looking almost insulted:

“It’s not funny”.

“It is, because I convinced Isabel to let you have this day free. I’ll take you home and you’ll go back to work tomorrow” Levi answers with a proud grin.

Eren’s frown disappears in a second, replaced by a wide sleepy extremely cute smile and he scoots closer, until his nose touches Levi’s neck and his body is almost entirely sprawled over Levi’s.

“Told you you are a manipulator” he jokes and Levi is relieved to see that the boy is not that stiff anymore.

“I’m not a manipulator, brat. I just know how to use my connections.”

“Meaning blackmailing Isabel because you’re friends” Eren adds with a snort and Levi slightly pinches one if his sides, making him jolt a bit and stick his tongue out to him. Eren then props himself in one of his elbows and fixes Levi with a look that the older male doesn’t know how to read. It’s the first time Eren looks at him like that, with a mixture of awe and perhaps sadness. Levi gets insecure for the first time. He brushes Eren’s hair out of his eyes and asks:

“Everything ok? You don’t regret what happened last night, do you?”

Eren shakes his head as a no and leans in in Levi touch:

“No, I don’t. It..felt good” he says, the familiar blush now coloring his cheeks.

Levi smiles:

“It felt good for me too” he says, closing his eyes as Eren kisses him, tentatively and gentle, but more firm than before, more confident. It’s a change, a good one, their kiss now feeling like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like it’s nothing to be afraid of. Eren lets his hands travel on Levi’s body again, touching his muscles, mapping his chest, even going down and tracing lines on his tight. His fingers are smooth, delicate, as if Eren is painting him in colors, is trying to memorize every bit and piece of his skin. Levi smiles in their kiss, feeling Eren smiling back, no words needed because they both know that what they feel now, in this very moment, it is real for both of them, it is _there. _Levi just hopes that it’ll stay there for Eren as much as he feels will stay for him.

The kiss doesn’t turn into something heated, it’s not needed. What happened last night seems enough for them, enough to build confidence and let it become more powerful, like a tight thread that connects them both.

After another hour of cuddling and sweet nothings whispered in their ears, they take turns for the shower and have a nice lazy breakfast on the sofa, watching late morning news. Then Eren tells Levi he needs to go home and Levi accepts, driving him back to Shiganshina and listening to music on the way.

And on the way back, Levi realizes he is happy, head on the clouds almost and he’s thinking he’ll have to re-plan his future, because staying away from Eren for months sounds dreadful. Back to Marley he stops at a Target to buy food for dinner and bits and pieces for the house. Lost in his thoughts he notices too late when another cart slightly hits his and piercing blue eyes fix him with hunger. He raises his head annoyed, ready to snap at the stranger, blood turning cold in his veins when he realizes who the stranger is. Blue bores into silver and silver turns sharp, defensive, dangerous.

“Hello, Levi” a too familiar, too cold, too disgusting voice greets. The tone is polite but reminds Levi this man got away in the past only with that. But he won’t get away this time. He unclenches his jaw and answers with a voice so sharp that he feels the air shifting:

_“Erwin”._


	12. Can you stay? (PART II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guuuyss!  
I'm so sorry for being so damn late with this chapter. I went to shopping and then Maleficient 2 and I forgot about my dear fanfic (shame on me).  
Buuut, the chapter is here (eventually) and with it comes the second part of the story. Be ready, things are going to change: the boys realize they love each other and some other things happen. So, hope you keep reading in the future :D  
And thank you for the comments/kudos/bookmarks for the past week. I'm always grateful, always keep on posting because of that.  
Have a nice week! ^_^

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Levi snaps, eyes keeping Erwin in place, taking in his features, because he needs to know his enemy, needs to read him and figure what the hell he wants this time.

Erwin scans him, from head to toe, his lips forming a neutral line, but the sting of Levi’s tone is mirrored in his tensed shoulders and almost furrowed bushy brows:

“This is how you greet me after all these years, Levi?”

“I think you’re lucky I haven’t hit you with the cart, you shit” Levi snarls, making a woman that was trying to put bananas in her shopping bag startle and walk away.

They are in public, Levi knows it, it can turn into something shitty if someone pulls out a fucking phone and presses “record”. But, but, he needs to clean things, he needs to make this horrible man understand that whatever was in the past, whatever connection, whatever context that put them together, now is over. And he also feels the need to stand up for himself, to stand up for that kid who trusted this man, only to end up humiliated and completely disgusted. And hurt, impossibly hurt.

“Why are here, Erwin? Why?” Levi growls again, fists clenching the handle of the cart, knowing very well that he needs to pressure this man, he needs answers, because beside it all, Erwin Smith is a danger to society. Drugging someone, getting him naked and snapping pictures, only to send them to a girl, making her think her boyfriend is gay and cheated on her, shows certain signs of a disturbed mind … a very, very crazy mind.

Erwin side glances, icy eyes fix Levi again as he speaks:

“This is my home. I came back because I missed my family. That’s all. And it seems I missed you too-“

“Shut the fuck up!” Levi interrupts him again “shut the fuck up! You missed your family? Haven’t you thought about your family the first time you did what you did to me?!”

Erwin almost looks as if he’s pleased that his unexpected presence gets Levi so angry:

“That was a mistake” he breathes and narrows his eyes, lost in thought.

“_A mistake?!_” Levi retorts “a mistake it’s when you punch someone in the face, you motherfucker. What you did was something completely insane and vile” Levi underlines.

Erwin doesn’t seem totally impressed, doesn’t seem like he can regret things, doesn’t seem like he understand what he had done. He looks plain, neutral, cold. And this scares Levi, this is not a man, this is a _monster_ with no conscience. He grips the handle of his cart again and spits:

“Stay the hell away from me” he warns, as he starts pushing the cart and moving away from Erwin, but halts his movement when the other whispers:

“I was your first, Levi.”

Levi’s neck snaps to him and he looks at him with disgust:

“You’re _mad, completely mad” _ he says, pushing the cart further away and heading straight to his car after paying for his groceries.

While he drives back to his apartment, he tries to calm his heart, which is now shaking the walls of his chest like a thunder. If he thought all this time that Erwin was just crazy, now he realizes he’s fucking mental, a genuine psychopath if he actually believes he was Levi’s first. The tests the doctors made on him at the hospital showed that no sexual encounter happened between them. He was drugged, with something very powerful that made him sleep, but nothing else. They never had sex, still the crazy bastard ended up believing that.

When he arrives back in his living room, where Eren’s sweet scent still lingers in the air, he calls Kenny:

“What’s up, lad? Your little friend from “Croquant” told me you kidnapped your bright eye boyfriend.”

Levi smiles weakly remembering Eren’s presence in his apartment, the feeling of his skin on his skin, the steady breath when he fell asleep, the sweet erotic moan when he found completion.

“Lad, are you ok?” Kenny’s voice startle him.

“I met Erwin. Can you come to my apartment?” he answers with a fragile voice, hearing Kenny already muttering a curse and slamming the door of his car, most probably.

10 minutes later his uncle sits on his sofa, the strong scent of cigarette smoke erasing Eren’s scent.

“What did he tell you?” he asks, fixing Levi with silver eyes. Equally silver eyes look back, Levi answering with a hiss:

“That he was my first. And when he said that he looked fucking mental to me.”

Kenny’s lips form a disgusted line:

“I’ll fucking kill him the next time I see him. Tell me, do you want me to kill him?”

Levi frowns:

“Jesus, Kenny, no. I know you can do that and that fucking scares me, but no. Let him say whatever he wants. He’s fucking crazy.”

His uncle gives him a weird look:

“You don’t want me to kill him, but you want something. What is that, lad? You know you’re like a son to me and I’d do anything for you. No matter how crazy.”

Levi nods, expression serious:

“I know. But I don’t want you to go to prison because of someone like Erwin Smith. He’s not an immediate danger for now. But I do want you to ask your friends to keep an eye on him.”

Kenny follows his gaze and approves, letting smoke out through his nose, while Levi adds:

“And maybe even more important than this, I don’t know what he wants or why he’s here. But he might find out about me and Eren and I’m certain he’ll try to hurt Eren. Emotionally or physically. You won’t let that happen, Kenny. I’ll kill him myself if he touches Eren” Levi growls at the end.

Kenny observes him in silence, then asks:

“Have you slept with the boy?” he inquires with no shame.

Levi sights, already familiar with his uncle crude questions and answers:

“No, he’s not ready yet. And I don’t mind that.”

Kenny slightly tilts his head:

“Does he know you already love him?”

Levi freezes then scowls:

“What the hell Kenny?!”

“You mean you don’t love him?” his uncle retorts, voice as a warn, like he’d scold Levi for lying.

“I-“ Levi begins. He wants to deny it. He cares about Eren, a lot and the boy is slowly becoming important for him, but _love, _love is a whole damn new thing. But what if Kenny is right? What if the feeling that makes his heart dance and stomach churn every time he sees Eren is love?

Levi shrugs:

“I need to give him time, Kenny. Even if I love him, and I might, he needs time.”

Kenny studies him again before replying:

“What about you, Levi? What do you need?”

Levi frowns and fixes a spot on the floor, thinking:

“For now I just need him to be there, to be happy.”

And Kenny doesn’t say anything, although the look he gives his nephew makes Levi frown in thought again.

***

Eren is in awe. The two last days are like a dream to him. A too sweet dream, one that he never thought may become real. But it was, it _is_, because he can still feel Levi’s hands caressing his body, his soft lips kissing him gentle, then more heated, as that flame that was always there between them grew stronger and stronger. He starts feeling his cheeks going red as he remembers the way all those moans escaped his throat when Levi touched him just the way he wanted, pushing him beyond the edge, somewhere where no one ever pushed him.

“Eren, are you ok?” Armin’s sweet voice makes him jolts. Yeah, he forgot he was having dinner with his best friend.

He scratches the back of his head and answers sheepishly:

“Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just lost in thoughts.”

“What kind of thoughts?” Armin retorts frowning “you looked like you were thinking about something rather dirty” he observes.

Eren’s blush grows even more, probably he turned tomato red by now and he knows Armin must have noticed that too.

“_Oh my God!_” Armin whispers and leans over the table, almost spilling his lemonade everywhere “Eren! Did you slept with Levi?!”

“Shhh!” Eren tries to stop his friend, throwing a weird look at the next table, where a couple stare at them “Armin, _please.”_

Armin leans back, but his hands are crossed over his chest and he gives Eren an accusing icy look:

“So I am not your best friend anymore, isn’t it? This is why you kept that away from me…”

Eren frowns:

“Don’t be stupid. It’s not about that. I’ll tell you.. it’s just. It’s not what you think.”

Armin finishes his lemonade and says:

“Let’s take a walk, then. You can tell me the details somewhere more private.”

They pay for their dinner and, coincidence or not, they end up in “Marley’s Botanical Garden” where Levi kissed Eren the first time. They sit on a bench on the opposite way of the lake where the willows are and Eren clears his throat:

“Are you sure you want to hear this?” he asks Armin, taking in his soft features, the baby blue in his eyes, the golden in his hair and the warm, open-minded look he gives him.

“I’m your best friend, remember? You can tell me anything.”

Eren smiles back and starts:

“Firstly, we didn’t..you know, we didn’t do _it_, but we…I mean…”

Armin starts blushing too and suddenly Eren thinks this is a bad idea. To talk with your heterosexual friend about the way you have sex as a gay person can be, well, not awkward or difficult, but, it can be like…. this. It can be Armin blushing more and more as his mind probably takes him in some weird places. Eren decides is better to be honest if he can’t find a way to talk about this discreetly:

“Uhm, Armin?”

“Y-yeah?” his friend stutters.

“Do you know what frotting means?”

Armin pauses a bit, narrowing his eyes and Eren fights a snort – he knows this look. It’s the look Armin has when he thinks about something that he read somewhere. When his eyes grow wide and he starts blushing again Eren knows he figured out.

“Oh, _oh_” Armin murmurs and Eren simply nods.

“Yeah…”

“Uhm, how was it?” Armin asks, this time his eyes fixed on Eren, trying to read his soul, most probably.

Eren fumbles with the hem of his shirt. The hum of the city is all around him, the small talk of the visitors in the garden fills his ears and still, somehow, in this not too powerful noise, but noise anyway, he hears Levi voice, Levi’s moans, he feels Levi again all around him, his minty scent intoxicating his lungs.

He smiles at Armin, he doesn’t know how his smile looks like, but he just hopes Armin can see he is telling the truth:

“It was good. Like..intense, and good.”

Armin smiles back and nods:

“You look happy.”

Eren stares at the willows from the other side of the lake, where he felt Levi’s lips over his, where he surrendered the first time, knowing that he will definitely end up hurt.

“It won’t last” he tells Armin, deflected.

Armin frowns immediately:

“Why do you say that?”

Eren gives him a scolding grimace:

“Armin, he has concerts starting September. He’ll leave. We won’t last.”

Armin clicks his tongue in disapproval:

“How do you know that? Seriously, Eren, you’re sabotaging yourself.”

“I am not. Do you seriously think he’ll change his life for me?!” he retorts, voice harsher than he wanted.

His blonde friend scans his face, then a concerned line appears between his eyebrows:

“Eren, if this is about your family, drop it. Freaking forget about that, leave that behind. What your father did, what your father _is_ does not define you. You-“

Eren interrupts him with a growl:

“It does not define me, but it changes me, Armin. And I can’t keep going on with Levi. It will end, whether it will be because he has to leave or because I’ll leave.”

Armin sighs:

“Would you break up with him just like that? Without talking? You’re running away from your happiness, Eren.”

Eren gets up, a bit pissed off because Armin can’t seem to understand that he can’t drag Levi into his shitty life. Levi doesn’t deserve that. It’s not about running away, it’s about letting Levi be free.

“I’m going” he tells Armin, who is now frowning at him and spits back, equally pissed off:

“What you want to do is a bullshit.”

“_Fine_” Eren spits back.

“Fine” Armin growls back and Eren starts marching for the exit of the garden.

When he gets back home to Shiganshina, in his small, now stuffy and too warm studio, Eren already regrets his outburst. But he doesn’t know what to do with Levi. Plus, there has been a while since he painted something and suddenly, looking at the blank canvas on his balcony, he feels the urge to spread some colors on it.

Until 2 AM everything goes mechanically, almost as if he is in a haze, he has no idea what he’s doing or why the desire to paint hit him so fast and with such force. But he has been here before, he knows there is no better way to deal with this then to let his hands travel on the canvas and change it.

When the clocks hits 3 AM Eren knows it is over. He stares at the final result, he stares at Levi’s profile and Levi’s silver eye stares back at him. His face, hair and eyes are painted with acrylics, while the background, where the willows hunched silhouettes should be, is in watercolor, in deep green shades, that slowly turn to oranges and reds as you look in the horizon.

Eren is pinned into place, unable to move. He follows the traces of his own brush, own moves, own _feelings. _ And then, just like the inspiration to paint, the realization of what he actually feels hits him. It’s so raw that his breath hitches in his lungs and he falls to his knees, before Levi’s painted gaze, tears streaming down his cheeks. Because he knows now that he wouldn’t have been able to do with Levi what he did, to tell him what he wants if he didn’t trust Levi, if he didn’t know Levi can take the lead, if he didn’t _love_ Levi. Because this is what it is, love. _He loves Levi_. More than he loves himself, most probably, because Levi is changing him, is giving him courage and Eren accepts all that.

And it hurts, it hurts so much because Eren thinks he is not worthy, he thinks a boy like him, a _kid_ can’t sit by Levi’s side and claim he is making him happy. It just…it just can’t be.

He sobs uncontrollably until there are no tears left and then he raises his head and stares back at the painted silver gaze:

“And now, what?” he asks, hoping that maybe, the unreal Levi might tell him how he can forget he loves the real one and walk away. Is there hope for them? Can he just blurt out the truth, let Levi know that he was abused as a child and as a young adult and move on? Can Levi move on together with him knowing all this? Can Levi career go on like this? What if someone finds out he is dating a boy that comes from such a dysfunctional family? Can Levi _stay_ like this?

Can he?

The weekend find all of them at “Croquant”, celebrating Isabel’s 25th birthday. The coffee shop is closed for the first time this year and the group is gathered in the backyard. Farlan takes the role of the chef for the barbecue, Levi and Eren prepare the cocktails, Ymir and Historia cut the vegetables for the salad and Hitch helps Isabel arrange the table. Hanji is in charge for the music, which Levi assumes is a bad idea.

Petra and Oluo are there too because Isabel insisted to invited them. They met once years ago and since then when it was someone’s birthday and Levi was there, Petra and Oluo came too. Eren was happy to meet her for the first time, as he heard Levi mention her here and there. He knows that, just like Isabel, Farlan and Hanji, Petra is important to Levi.

As Eren finishes the lemonade for Petra and hands it to her, she gives him a warm smile, her caramel eyes glistening:

“Thank you, Eren” she says and the boy nods. She sips in the drink and humms “wow, this is good. I can see why Levi is head over heels for you.”

At that Eren blushes, side glancing to see if Levi heard. Fortunately, he is giving instruction to Farlan how to cook the burgers meat and he didn’t hear. So, Eren gulps and asks Petra:

“Do you think he is head over heels for me? I’m just a kid.”

Petra’s warm eyes scrutinize him and she observes:

“Eren, Levi doesn’t like people easy. He doesn’t get close to them either. So yeah, I think I assume well when I say what he feels for you is _there_ and is _strong_. Why do you have doubts?” she asks.

_Because I’m fucked up_ Eren thinks. He can’t tell this to Petra, though, but he can’t let this go either. Because somehow Petra’s words change everything – it’s not like he didn’t feel Levi closeness and fondness for him. It’s just, he didn’t think it could be that much, that powerful. He thought of attraction and care, but he never thought of Levi actually _falling _for him. If it is like that, then things just got even more complicated.

“I….don’t want to talk about this, Petra”.

Petra eyes scan him again, her expression changing as Eren thoughts make him deflate. He knows he looks dejected, but if things will keep going between them, Levi will get hurt, maybe beyond repair and Eren doesn’t want that. He should be the broken one between the two of them.

“Eren, dear” Petra makes him jolt “if you have doubts or something is holding you back, you should talk to Levi. I can assure you he’ll understand, whatever it is.”

Eren grimaces:

“It’s…ok, Petra.”

Petra puts a warm hand over his wrist and squeezes:

“All I know, from Levi and from our friends, is that he cares about you. A lot and I’ve known him since we were in high school. I saw him growing up and maturing and I know there is nothing he wouldn’t do for his dear ones. But you need to tell him. Levi is not a mind reader, he can pretty much anticipate many things and state of minds, but not all of them. Be honest with him, whatever it is: sex or any other thing. And Eren?” Petra pauses to give him a piercing look, that goes straight through his soul “please, don’t hurt Levi. He might seem strong, but he suffered a lot.”

Eren nods and the topic closes just in time – Levi approaches and disposes a peck on Eren’s lips, leaving behind the savor of coconut.

“What were you doing to my boyfriend, Petra?” he jokes, giving Petra a playful smile.

Petra smiles back and says:

“I was just trying to get to know him, Romeo. Don’t get territorial”.

Levi hisses and retorts:

“I swear you and Farlan are brothers in stupid jokes.”

Petra giggles and adds:

“You’re easy to tease, Levi.”

Levi sneers:

“Petra, I’ll fight back and you won’t like it.”

“Who you’ll fight back?” Farlan asks, squeezing himself between Eren and Levi and putting his hands on their shoulders. Levi gives him an annoyed look and Petra chuckles again:

“Tell me Farlan, isn’t it right that Levi is easy to tease?”

Eren side glances at Levi and Levi looks in his eyes and winks at him, something mischievous glistening in the stormy grey:

“Farlan, where is your wife? I might tell her you’re teasing her fav Big Bro and _man_ in the world.”

Farlan shoves him aside and shrugs:

“I’m not falling in your trap, Levi.”

Isabel comes from the shop with a tray full of snacks and Eren winks back at Levi:

“Hey, Isabel, who’s your fav man in the world?” he asks with his eyelashes fluttering.

Isabel grins at the group, understanding someone is becoming good teasing material, so she says:

“Eren, my love and best barista, you are” she says, going near Eren and giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Eren blushes and both Levi and Farlan deflate, while Petra starts laughing hard, making Hanji give them questionable looks:

“And I thought I was the mental one” she barks as Petra retorts:

“I’m pregnant dear, you don’t want to know how it feels.”

Farlan sticks his tongue out and tells Isabel:

“Traitor, if he’s your fav man you should sleep with him.”

At that Levi groans and Eren blushes even more. Isabel gives another smack on Eren’s cheek and replies:

“I would but I’m quite sure Eren doesn’t like what I have between my legs.”

Eren hides his red face in his palms with a groan, while he hears Levi hissing:

“I’m castrating all of you if you keep going in this way.”

“Which way?” Hanji grins approaching and all of them seem to fidget, Petra concluding:

“Well, I think we should all stop, because with Hanji here we might talk all day about..uhm…genitals.”

They all start nodding, like a classroom full of kids who know certainly when they fucked up and they go back to preparing the table, leaving Hanji quite perplexed.

As Levi and Eren help Farlan finish the barbecue, the older one wraps a hand around Eren’s waist and whispers in his ear:

“You’re ok, love?”

Eren’s eyes wide at the name, but he realizes in a second he likes the way the little “love” sound on Levi’s aristocratic lips. He leans in and kisses those lips, not caring that Hanji grins at them from across the backyard and Farlan wolf whistles at them. This might be the last time he is with Levi and with his friends. _The last…_

He loves Levi. Maybe too much already. And if he loves Levi he needs to let him go.

***

_Meeting Levi in that shop after all those years made him realize that he’s still attracted to the kid. Well, Levi is definitely a man now, a very attractive man, and he knows he’s not going to lose him again. Fuck Levi´s uncle or whoever tries to stand between them. They don’t matter, the world doesn’t matter. All that matters is him and Levi together. If Levi could have understood in the past why he did what he did, why he gave him that drug, why he took the pictures, how hard it was to refrain himself. The reason was simple, that little girl, Petra didn’t deserve him. She was too ordinary, too boring. Levi needed more, Levi needed a soldier, a hero, a man._

_He roams without a target around the center of the city, thoughts swimming restlessly in his head, trying to find a way to get Levi back. He remembers that at some point Levi had some French friends here who wanted to open a coffee shop. Maybe in these years they did – but how can he fi—_

_He stops the engine of his shabby ranted car in front of a place called “Croquant” because he spotted a very familiar Maserati in the parking lot. It’s 12 AM in the night and Levi stands near the driver’s seat of his car, leaning in and kissing a boy on the mouth, pushing him slightly on the door. His blood starts boiling and his erection fights the confines of his slacks – he likes seeing Levi like this, but he hates that he isn’t the one that Levi kisses. From where he is he can see the boy’s hands skimming over Levi’s back. They break the kiss and smile at each other. The boy gets into the passenger’s seat and they share another peck on the lips before Levi starts the engine and leaves._

_In the middle of the quiet summer night Erwin Smith knows just one thing: that boy needs to disappear so he can take his place in Levi’s arms._


	13. Anarchy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful readers! Hope you had a great week, mine was pretty hectic, but it ended, so it's fine.  
This chapter is shorter than the usual and it's annngssstyy, buut I promise it's worth it. :D   
!!! I have to warn you there are some disturbing details and behaviors portrayed here, so be careful and try to see it as part of the story, not my intention to make you uncomfortable. !!!  
To the people who gave feedback last week THANK YOOOUUUUU! I encourage the rest to do the same :D  
Have a good week, guys! ^_^

Eren can’t stop the long guttural moan that escapes his lips as Levi’s mouth licks wet traces over his navel and further down, closer to his groin. Levi pushes his legs wider, his molten silver eyes searching for permission in Eren’s. Eren looks back and nods frantically and something in the air shifts, Levi’s pupil fully blown now, revealing lust and hunger. Eren’s mind is on fire, no thoughts there except the one that tells him he has never been the subject of such a look, the target of anyone’s desire.

Levi’s long chiseled fingers push his underwear past his tights and then throw them away dramatically on the floor, leaving Eren naked on Levi’s black silk sheets. As he usually does since they got more intimate, Levi disposes his clothes away too, revealing the sculpted edges of his chest and the erection that matches his lover between his legs. He kisses Eren long and languid, his sinful tongue diving in Eren’s mouth and exploring, until he finds his pair and plays with it.

Eren’s hands are skimming over Levi’s back muscles, tracing their edges and curves, until he grips his ass, pushing Levi more into him in a desperate search for friction. Levi growls, the unfiltered sound ringing in Eren’s ears and vibrating through Levi’s chest and into his. The boy arches his back, their members touching and Levi nips at his bottom lip, then whispers seductively in his ear:

“If you’re patient I’m going to give you what you want.”

Eren doesn’t even find the power to blush anymore – in the last two weeks since Isabel’s birthday he let things go, just enjoying Levi’s touches, which were always welcomed and made him forget most of the time that he decided he must set Levi free. He’s always thinking “not now, maybe later” because somehow it’s too painful to break this dream so fast, when it didn’t even have the chance to unfold into reality, to turn into something more sturdy, more powerful.

Levi’s lips leave his, only to begin their journey on his jaw, down on his neck, licking their ways along his collarbone, reaching his sternum, ceasing their exploration for a while to wrap around each on Eren’s pert nipples. Levi’s burning eyes raise to bore into Eren’s, checking him up and the boy wonders what his boyfriend sees there, because what he sees in Levi’s makes his heart skip more than one beat.

Levi winks wickedly at him and goes back at tasting Eren, lapping at his navel and then down low, his hot breath over the boy’s erection short circuiting his body. He fixes Eren as he takes the tip between his lips, sucking lightly. Eren wants to close his eyes but he can’t, because this is purely erotic and his poor mind never thought he’ll ever be at the receiving end of something like this. Levi keeps going, taking his entire length in his mouth and giving it a hard suck that makes Eren lose his fragile self control and let out a strangled whimper, as his right hand dives into Levi’s hair, grasping it for God knows what. Levi moans too, vibrations sent on Eren’s member, and bobs his head in a steady rhythm that is soon sending Eren over the edge. His left hand clenches around the silky sheets, fisting it with spasms, while his other fingers are now mindlessly pulling Levi’s soft inky strands of hair. Levi doesn’t cease the movements, moans from time to time, his tongue circling Eren’s tip or the underside of his erection. Eren knows he’s leaking in the other’s mouth and the thought that Levi can actually _taste_ him sends him into ecstasy, the orgasm hitting him without a warn, making him moan uncontrollably. Levi sucks him until the last spasm, swallowing everything and when it’s entirely done Eren feels his body boneless, his lungs fighting for a more balanced intake of air.

Levi lets his softening member out of his mouth, licks a corner of his bottom lip and goes back to Eren, nipping at his collarbone.

“I’m sorry, Levi, I” Eren begins, his voice raspy and Levi frowns:

“What for?”

Eren stutters embarrassed:

“I – I – you swallowed… I..i should’ve…”

“Eren” Levi ceases his mutters “I wanted to do it. Besides” he adds with another wicked grin “you taste good”.

Despite the enormous wave of embarrassment that hits him, the boy realizes Levi is still hard, his member touching his hipbone. He pulls Levi over him and kisses hard, tongue diving in and bringing to his senses the taste of Levi and his own release. He doesn’t mind though, focusing now on his lover, hand wrapping around his achingly hard member and starting to stroke it with steady moves. Levi’s teeth dig in his bottom lip, a feral moan bubbling in his chest as he thrusts mindlessly in Eren’s hand. It doesn’t take much for him to come, body trembling in uncontrollable shivers, then collapsing over Eren’s, fully spent. And, as Levi seems to make an effort to regain his breath, Eren thinks that this moment should be branded in his brain for eternity, because Levi is the most beautiful man he has ever seen. And then, unwanted, a fragile speck of hope wraps around his naïve heart – what if he finds a way? What if Levi _can accept him_ with his past, can ignore the abuse and his father and keep on going on this new, beautiful path, hand in hand with Eren?

He remembers the painting and the overwhelming feeling in the aftermath, his arms circling Levi’s waist, who groans and raises his head from the crook of Eren’s shoulder where he collapsed and mutters, hair disheveled and eyes satiated:

“There is something smeared between us and it’s my fault.”

Eren genuinely chuckles at that – only Levi could make something like this sound like a joke. The older gets up and vanishes in the bathroom, coming back with a wet towel to clean Eren’s chest and stomach. Eren raises in the middle of the bed, looking around for his clothes. He spent the night with Levi, but now it’s morning, it’s Monday and he needs to go to work.

Noticing his look, Levi leans in and pushes Eren back in the pillows, making him grunt. Pulling one of Eren’s leg over his hip, he whispers, tempting Eren:

“What if I have a talk with Isabel again?” he inquires, nibbling at Eren’s earlobe. The boy lets a shaky exhale out and mutters:

“No, you manipulator, I need to get to work.”

Levi grins, his hand starting to trace a burning path on Eren’s raised leg:

“Are you sure there is no way I can convince you to stay, brat?”

Eren shudders, but somehow manages to find the power to refuse him:

“Levi, come on.”

His lover gives him a fake offended look and releases his leg:

“Fine, you brute.”

Eren smiles and gives a peck on his cheek:

“We’ll see each other anyway.”

Although Levi doesn’t look fully convinced and attempts a few more times to prolong the their kisses, so Eren wouldn’t go to work, the boy manages to get dressed and arrive to the coffee shop in time.

Isabel smiles at him and his day starts behind the counter. Almost every customer asks for something with ice, taking into consideration the burning sun that announces the unavoidable arrival of July. However, the energy of the place and the constant stream of customers doesn’t make the nagging speck of hope from his mind go away. And Eren knows, that worse than being in love with Levi is to hope that they might have a future together.

When the day ends he goes back to Shiganshina and stops at the familiar grocery store to buy something for dinner. Near the sweet section a tall man, with broad shoulders and a sand like shade of blonde in his hair approaches him, his blue eyes making Eren uncomfortable.

The man stops in front of him and Eren asks:

“May I help you with something?”

The man’s incredibly bushy brows furrows and he retorts:

“What’s your relationship with Levi?”

Eren frowns too, a shiver passing his spine as the man’s inquisitive eyes pierce him. It’s like the stranger wants to crack his skull open and see what’s inside.

“Why do you care what kind of relationship I have with Levi?”

The blonde clicks his tongue in disgust:

“I do care. Me and him are engaged to be married.”

A sharp pain, like a stab goes through Eren’s chest, making him grimace. However, there is a huge part in him that believes this man is fucking with him, because the Levi he knows would never date him when he had to get married. Besides, his friends would’ve said something. He folds his arms and retorts:

“Even if you are engaged to be married, I still don’t see why I have to answer your question. I don’t know who you are.”

It takes a bit too long for Eren to register when the stranger’s hand clench around his wrist and shoves him in the sweets shelf, making the biscuits packs scatter on the floor. It’s early in the evening, but it’s summer and there aren’t many people around. He tries to release himself from the vicious grip, but it’s obvious the other one has more force. His blue eyes, with pupils blown too wide to be normal glare at him and he growls:

“Listen to me, because _I hate_ to repeat myself: you’ll break up with Levi. You’re no good for him, you’re a snotty kid and he is out of your league.”

Eren is scared, his wrist starts to hurt and this man it’s obviously crazy, still he finds somewhere the power to fight back, as Levi once told him:

“And if I don’t?!” he snarls back.

The other one tightens his grip and threatens:

“If you don’t, you piece of shit, I have a tone of pictures with Levi naked, under me and I’ll spread it all over the damn Internet so he won’t be able to have a concert not even in a hundred years from now on. _I fucked Levi_? Do you understand? I fucked him and he loved that and I have this on tape and-“

“Oi, what the fuck are you doing to that kid?!” the shabby security guard of the little shop intervenes, literally saving Eren from ending up with a twisted wrist.

The stranger releases him and glares at the security guard and back at Eren.

“Don’t forget what I said, _Eren._”

He turns and walks away and Eren fights the sudden urge to puke all over the place. He doesn’t know the man, but the man very well knows him. _He knows my name._ He pays for his food and heads to his studio. His wrist pulsates and it looks like it might bruise. He decides the best thing to do it’s to warn Levi and most probably head to the closest police station while he opens the door of his apartment, only to remain frozen in place.

All over his bed, the floor, the kitchen counter there are pictures, hundreds of them. He picks one up and nausea hits him again, only this time it’s worse than ever. In the picture Levi is naked, legs spread apart, head fallen on the pillows. He looks younger and definitely asleep, but what makes Eren horrified is the fact that between his legs is someone, you can’t see his face, but he keeps his disgusting hard member in his hand, looking like he’s ready to penetrate Levi. All the pictures are like that, grotesque representations of intimate moments, moments that should not be captured like this. Moments stolen from Levi, ripped from his private life and turned into this disgusting thing.

Eren throws up more than once until he manages to gather all the pictures and shove them in his trash bin.

***

Levi wakes up drenched in sweat, his pulse booming in his ears, lungs in pain in the struggle to let the air in. Outside a summer storm is in full bloom, the howling wind bending at weird angles the branches of the trees. The constant buzz of horns tells Levi traffic in Marley has been turned again into shit because of the rain.

He raises in the middle of the bed and brings his knees under his chin- he hasn’t dream about the days spent in the streets of Paris for a long time. However, a few minutes ago he was running again from the police after he stole something from the _boulangerie_ and his feet wouldn’t help him go a bit faster. He was caught by the police man and beaten to a pulp. He realizes the dream was a memory, but it doesn’t matter what it was – it brought him a bad feeling anyway.

He reaches for his phone and taps Eren’s name – it’s 10 AM in a weekend and he wonders if he can see his lover today, maybe invite him to spend the night together. The phone rings a few times, but it’s no answer, until Eren picks up, voice hesitant:

“Hey!”

“Hey, love” Levi says, trying to ignore the sudden clench of his stomach “what are you doing today?”

There is a pause, then Eren answers in a week voice:

“Nothing, why?”

“Would you like the come here, spend the night with me maybe?”

Eren inhales loudly and then lets the air out as if he’d be in pain. Levi fights the urge to freak out and ask repeatedly what is wrong, until he’d got an answer. However, it seems he doesn’t need to, because Eren speaks:

“Levi, are you engaged to me married to someone?”

Levi needs a few seconds to process the question:

“What? What the hell?! of course not! Why are you asking me this?”

“Because” Eren begins “I met someone who said you are engaged to be married. He knew my name.”

Levi’s blood goes cold in his veins and a strong sensation of nausea shakes his stomach, twisting and turning his insides:

“Eren, how did he looked like?” it’s the only thing he manages to say. He hears Eren’s answer as if he’d be in under water, fighting for air:

“Tall, blonde with blue eyes. Levi…” Eren begins, without finishing. To Levi it sounds like the end. Maybe it is the end, he doesn’t know, but it’s sound like something broke Eren, like everything he tried to make him understand, _to build_ it’s finally crumbling into pieces.

“Eren, listen, I know, I know it’s…I know it made you doubt me, but this man, this man can’t be trusted. Do you understand? He can’t be trusted. I know him and I know what he can do, how his mind works. This is his way of making you walk away from me so he can do what he wants.”

Eren is silent again and Levi is for the first time terrified, because he knows Eren’s answer might change everything.

“I know. It’s..Levi” Eren voice cracks and Levi gets scared:

“Did he, did he touch you?? I’ll kill hi- do you understand?! Tell me, did he touch you, Eren?!”

“No, no” Eren is a sobbing mess right now “but he _touched you_ a long time go. He _raped_ you Levi!!”

A cold shiver shakes Levi spine entirely. He can’t believe this is happening.

“What?”

Eren seems to let big gulps of air in until he speaks again:

“Levi, I don’t know who he is, but he knows where I live. My entire studio was full with pictures with you n-naked” he sobs “ naked and he was trying to.. to”

Levi massages one of his temples, fighting the anger, the fear, the disgust:

“Eren, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that you had to see those. I…”

He hears Eren blowing his nose, then speaking again, voice determined:

“We can’t see each other anymore. He threatened me he’ll post those things on the Internet.”

“What? Eren, what are you saying. I-“

“I can’t assume responsibility for this, Levi” the boy interrupts him, voice cold, like it has never been “I can’t risk your career. I can’t. I…” his voice breaks now in millions of frail words, some of them whispered, some of them almost shouted “I care about you, Levi. You, you almost saved me and I.. I would’ve told you everything, everything. But this, this man, when he looked at me – he is crazy I’m sure of it. Call the police, do something. But I can’t. He knows where I live, Levi.”

Eren stops, probably aware that he doesn’t make sense anymore. Levi’s cheeks are wet and his heart is in pain, a crushing pain that he never felt before.

He inhales, but his lungs still struggle and he knows it’s not because they need air, it’s because they need Eren and Eren is drifting away from him. The boy is painfully silent on the phone and Levi can taste the end of them on his tongue. The air in his apartment is heavy, almost unbreathable.

“Eren…” he calls his lover, but he feels so broken already that he doesn’t know if his name spoken like that will actually change something.

“Levi, I..” Eren pauses then he inhales deeply and for the first time Levi can feel his determination when he speaks again “Levi, you are important to me, even if maybe I didn’t show you fully how much you mean to me, but..but this is..this _man_ is dangerous and if he went so far to get into my apartment and spread those _disgusting….._” Eren sighs again “I’m sorry, Levi” and the last words sound like an ultimatum.

The deep silence that settles in after Eren closes the call breaks Levi’s heart completely.

However, he knows he can’t stay still – this went way too far for his liking. He feared Erwin might find about him and Eren and pushed the thought aside. Maybe it was his fault, maybe he was naïve. It doesn’t matter now, he picks the phone up again and taps his uncle name.

Kenny answers with his gruff voice:

“Lad, it’s weekend. Please tell me you don’t need me to change your diapers.”

Levi would have snorted at that on a normal day, but this is a totally _abnormal_ day, so he declares:

“Erwin spread pictures with me naked in Eren’s apartment and the kid wants to break up with me. He’s scared and I don’t blame him. I want to go to the police, even if it’ll affect my career..but I need your help.”

“I’ll decapitate that motherfucker” Kenny growls in a feral tone and Levi grits his teeth – Erwin must definitely pay for this.


	14. Can you bring me good news?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!  
Firstly, sorry for being late today. I spent the entire day at a book fair buying...books basically :D  
Anyways, chapter 14 is here. Brings some good news, some bad ones, some emotional moments. Read to see :D (I'm awful at suspense..sorry :))) )  
Secondly, THANK YOUUU for commenting every week and giving feedback. Means a lot to me and to my motivation. ^_^  
So, enjoy this chapter and have a nice week ;)

_A month later_

“Trial of Erwin Smith completed earlier at the pressure of the Head of Police in Marley, Mike Zacharias

_Erwin Smith, known as the ex-agent of the well-known pianist Levi Ackerman, was sentenced yesterday for 25 years of prison in the high level security prison of Liberio, being accused of child pornography, rape and murder. His most known victim is the pianist Levi Ackerman who revealed a month ago that Erwin Smith drugged him and took pictures with him naked, years ago, when he was 18, in order to make him accept his sexual advances through blackmail. Immediately after his public accusations, the police started an investigation which brought into light disturbing details about Smith. _

_Inside sources declared that the investigation team from the Marley Police Department had received support from FBI, a collective effort being made to catch the culprit._

_Nile Dock, Erwin’s Smith attorney tried to invoke deep psychological problems for his client in order to obtain a different, less heavy punishment, but the court refused his position, convicting Erwin Smith yesterday with the maximum of imprisonment he could receive._

_After the trial, Levi Ackerman declared that even if it was hard to reveal this dark story, he did it because one of his best friends was threatened by the culprit. However, the pianist himself was shocked to find out that his ex-agent was also a murderer, killing one year ago the Swedish model Frieda Reiss, with whom he had a relationship that ended badly._

_The public was deeply shaken by the story, more than 200 people gathering in front of Marley’s Law Court to show their support for Levi Ackerman and the family of Freida Reiss._

_People showed support for Levi too, who also admitted that he is gay-“_

Levi closes the TV and frowns. Near him, on the sofa, Kenny smokes, filling the air with the thick scent of his cigar. It’s quiet for a while, the only sounds being the deep inhale of Kenny and the occasional sigh of Levi.

“Well, now the shit ended” Kenny concludes in his deep voice, running a boney hand through his hair.

Levi frowns even more and replies bitterly:

“Hope he rots in prison” he growls, making Kenny snort.

“Don’t worry, Yelena promised me. She’ll keep her word.”

Levi gives Kenny a look. He’s tired and completely disgusted. The last month was hell or worse than hell, if such a thing exists. He talked to Kenny, then his uncle called a reporter from NY Times and he revealed the entire story of Erwin, with a last help from Eren, who gave him all the pictures that were spread in his apartment.

The aftermath turned into chaos, Levi’s days being filled with reporters and questions and a constant need of every person he met to know every freaking detail of his private life.

Kenny also contacted Yelena, which was the judge and a big fan of Levi and she promised him a fair trial, despite the fact that Erwin hired one of the best attorneys in Marley, Nile Dock. It turned out that Erwin actually dug his own grave, coming back in Levi’s life only after a year he committed murder and the first thing the police asked him was the reason why he came back to Marley after almost 10 years he was away. The Marley Police Department got in touch with people that met Erwin in Sweden and found out that he was suspected of raping a 17 years old girl, but the Swedish police couldn’t find enough evidence. However, the FBI did. And they also found the remnants of Erwin ex-lover in the cellar of his old house.

Levi’s spine is shaken by another powerful tremble as the flow of memories overcomes him again. Kenny puts his heavy calloused hand on his knee and observes:

“Let it go, lad. It’s over.”

“Yeah, so does everything I had with Eren” Levi observes bitterly again.

Kenny sighs and finishes his cigar:

“That…have you tried to talk to him?”

“He doesn’t answer my phone anymore, Kenny. It’s done. He told me the last thing he wants to do for me was related with the pictures. It’s over. It has been over for a month.”

When Eren broke up for good with him after giving him the pictures, the pain that invaded Levi’s heart has taken by storm that day and the rest of the days that came after. It was so hard to breathe sometimes, it was so hard to _be_ that Levi thought he’s going to go crazy. However, he managed to survive somehow, and now that pain transformed into a wound that still hurts, but can be carried. Because he figured it was better this way – he had put Eren in absolute danger. It dawned on him one day that Eren had been so close to a murderer, that someone so disturbed as Erwin entered Eren’s apartment and messed things up.

Yes, it was better this way. It was painful, but it was also right. And sometimes in life we have to choose between what is right and what is easy. Levi settled on the first, although he knew it was no way back from the hurt of losing Eren.

His phone vibrates, making Kenny growl and startling Levi from his deep thoughts. The screen says _Asaya_ and Levi braces himself. His Japanese agent was close to make an aneurysm when he found out the news about Levi’s sexuality and Levi’s past. He tried to deal with the media in Japan during this last month and to figure out if it was still ok for Levi to play. Japanese people weren’t big fans of coming outs or scandals.

Levi clears his throat giving Kenny a look of “get ready for more bad news” and answers:

“Yes, Asaya.”

“Levi-san, I’m sorry if I woke you. I watched the news. Saw that he was convicted.”

“Yes, it was over yesterday. Now, tell me – bad news, isn’t it?”

There is a pause – Levi knows Asaya processes the English words. Finally he answers:

“Actually, Levi-san, I have good news. Your concerts, in spring, it will take place. The ones in Seoul too, talked to…Jin Lee? Yes? That’s the name?”

Min Jin Lee is Levi’s Korean almost-agent, almost because she has a contract of collaboration with Asaya’s company, but still.

Levi exhales, relieved for the first time in weeks:

“So, you’re telling me my career is not over yet.”

“Mada owatte inai, Levi-san[1]”.

_My career it’s not over, but the rest is_ Levi thinks, suddenly feeling the pain in his chest pulsing again.

“Thank you Asaya, for everything. I know it was not the easiest thing to do.”

Asaya chuckles in his childish way and answers:

“Levi-san, I told you I am your biggest fan. See you in spring and please, try not to get in more troubles.”

Levi snorts and the call ends. Kenny is staring at him, waiting for explanations. Levi knows that if he doesn’t say anything Kenny will most probably explode. He’s been like a ticking bomb lately.

“It seems that I can still go and play in Tokyo in spring, uncle. So, take the thing out of your ass.”

Kenny narrows his steel eyes and gets up from the sofa:

“Lad, I really appreciate the fact that you gave me good news. It took you a while.”

His uncle stretches his hands and picks up his hat:

“I need to go back to “Le Titan”. A new chef assistant came in yesterday. She’s dumb and I feel the need to scream at someone.”

“Should I feel bad for the girl?” Levi half jokes, half already feels bad for the girl. A morose Kenny is a shitty Kenny.

The old man grins:

“No, I need a soldier ready to fight in a war in my restaurant. If she starts crying, she’s not good enough.”

After Kenny leaves Levi looks around his apartment. He had never felt lonely in it, but now he does. Outside, heavy summer rain clouds are making the July day look like night. Even the city is quiet – it’s the silence before the storm.

Levi sits on the sofa and picks his phone again:

Hanji: “Are you ok?” his friend asks him in a message.

Levi: “I’m fine.”

Levi knows he is lying, but what it’s left to say? Him and Eren ended more than badly. It was a mess, an utter disaster and it wasn’t even their fault. They are done not because they weren’t good for each other, but because a fucking lunatic couldn’t accept his fucking life. Levi feels like something had been stolen from him. Like he has been robbed of Eren.

The phone vibrates again:

Hanji: “And Eren? No sign?”

Levi: “We’re done, Hanji. I can’t force him into something he doesn’t want anymore.”

Hanji: “Maybe he needs time to heal.”

Levi groans and taps the display of the phone rather aggressively:

Levi: “Why are you so insistent about this??”

Hanji: “What a stupid question: because I care about you and because you were good for each other.”

Levi wants to write back when someone knock at the door. He throws the phone in the pillows and heads to see who disturbs him. It goes so fast that he doesn’t even have time to process the things: he opens the door only to be greeted by a punch in his nose, blood immediately running down, along with the aching pain.

“I told you not to hurt him, you asshole” Mikasa growls, standing in the doorway, ready for a fight.

Levi puts his hands around the nose, blood dripping between his pale fingers and gives Mikasa a murderous look:

“Do you fucking think I wanted this to happen, Mikasa!?” he growls, realizing that the blood won’t stop soon.

Mikasa is still in the doorway, her eyes throwing fire:

“You FUCKING knew your agent was back in town!! You fucking knew!”

Levi throws his bloody hands in the air and walks away, heading to the kitchen to fetch some paper to wipe the blood away, which is now dripping on his T-shirt. He hears Mikasa following him, but for a few moments he completely ignores her presence. When she doesn’t leave, still standing in his kitchen and following his movements as he wipes his nose away, he speaks:

“Are you done yet? Or there is more? Perhaps you want to break my nose for good?!”

Mikasa looks disgusted for a second, but then her cold Ackerman mask is rearranged, although Levi can see something in her eyes, a flicker of doubt, a small glint of insecurity:

“I should fucking punch you again” she mutters between clenched teeth.

“Then punch me!” Levi spits “punch me, kill me, as if this would erase any of the things that had happened.”

To Levi’s relief, the flow of blood from his nose starts to stop, but he’s certain it’ll bruise until tomorrow. At least he doesn’t have to be anywhere. Mikasa is staring at him again, still furious, still pondering her next move. And then, when she finally speaks, it takes Levi by surprise:

“Are you ok these days?”

Levi frowns – Mikasa’s mood swings are going to give him a much welcomed migraine:

“Taking into consideration that the entire world knows some maniac tried to rape me and took pictures of the process….” he shrugs cynically and adds “I think it ended pretty well.”

“Except Eren” Mikasa completes.

Levi gives her a scolding look:

“Of course _except Eren_, Mikasa. You know, you come here and punch me in the face..and I can very well understand why you think I deserve this, because I’d punch myself too, but what I don’t get is why you think you have a word to say in this.”

The girl folds her arms defensively around her chest and sneers:

“I have a thing to say because Eren is my friend and he suffered a lot. He didn’t need more pain and-“

“Oh, let’s see then” Levi interrupts her with a growl “you want to _defend_ Eren and you decide to come and punch me in the face because some maniac sent him pictures with me naked, but when I asked you who the fuck _abuses_ Eren, you decided he can choose for himself and tell me the story when he’ll be ready.” He throws the red tainted kitchen paper in the trash bin and turns back to Mikasa, mimicking her position as he asks “Now tell me, what the fuck do you think of Eren – can he stand up for himself or not?! Because I’m trying to figure things out, even if it’s too damn late and I don’t fucking get you!”

Mikasa narrows her eyes and speaks, this time voice calmer, but only because she already decided the argument is over:

“It’s too late anyway now. Stay away from Eren” she warns, turning away and leaving the apartment, while Levi remains in the middle of his kitchen, thinking that Ackermans are definitely crazy.

***

Armin stares at the room, frozen in place, eyes full of bewilderment. Eren is waiting for a reaction, because the one he has just received it’s definitely not helping.

His friend’s blue eyes move from one painting to another and another and another, scanning it, measuring it, as if he could read Eren’s soul into them. Well, he actually can, because all of them are full of _Levi._ Beside the one with his profile and the willows background, 6 more others are scattered all around Eren’s small room. And the muse for all of them is Levi, even if in some it’s just the silhouette of a man near the shore, dark sea and grey sky as background, or in another one are just long fingers caressing the keys of a piano.

The one with the shore and the sea it’s the biggest canvas Eren ever painted, a 180x140 cm painting, with a man with his back at the viewer, looking into the horizon – dark waters ahead and a gunmetal stormy grey sky. No sun.

Armin stares at that one and finally whispers:

“Oh, Eren.”

He turns to his friend and Eren wonders what Armin sees. In the last month he couldn’t sleep much, he cried a lot, ate less and painted more. It was the worst frenzy Eren has been in for a long time.

When he looked in the mirror this morning he finally noticed that he lost some weight in the last month, that he had huge purple-ish dark circles under his eyes and a lot of paint in his hair. He snaps back into reality and tells Armin:

“You know, you were right. I was running away from happiness.”

Armin’s eyes fill with tears and he opens his mouth to protest, most certainly to apologize, but Eren stops him:

“No, let me finish Armin. I need to let this out of my chest. You were right, I was running away from Levi. I know now that I made a mistake. Because he would’ve understood me and my problems, but I couldn’t drag him into this. Because he would’ve tried to help me and it was not his responsibility. I didn’t want him to think of me as his charity case. I wanted him to think of me as a man he could….” Eren realizes he is crying, because Armin is crying too and because his voice cracks, but he lets the words out anyway “I wanted him to think of me as a man he could _love_… for a long time…”.

Armin crosses the space between them and pulls him in a tight hug. His arms are gentle and firm and Eren inhales his fruity scent. Armin is indeed the only one he can trust, the only person on this world, beside his mother, who loves him. He doesn’t know if Levi loved him and it doesn’t matter now anymore. But Armin loves him, as a brother, as his best friend. He knows that and it’s enough. If one person in this world loves you unconditionally, then you’ve done right.

Armin steps back and wipes his tears away, azure eyes determined:

“I want you to know you’re never alone, Eren. I know I’ve been a little bit absent in the last time, with Annie and well, generally life, but it won’t happen from now on, ok?”

Eren nods, wiping his tears too. Armin looks around and observes:

“Levi is the muse for all of them, right?”

Eren nods again.

“Are they more in the making?” Armin asks, voice timid. Eren shurgs:

“I don’t know. This month...” he scratches his nape “this month was, well, bad. I couldn’t stop and sometimes I couldn’t sleep because I needed to paint, but the idea was scrambled in my head. I don’t know if they are more to come…..”

“What are you going to do with them?” the blonde asks, fixing the one with the sea and the shore again.

“What do you think I can do with them?”

Armin turns to him, eyes ablaze – he has an idea. A brilliant one.

“Have you tried to ask one of your teachers what he thinks about them? Maybe he can help you add them in a gallery or something.”

Eren frowns – obviously he didn’t think about this. Except the one with Levi’s profile, all the other paintings are rather, well, abstract. There is a man in all of them, except the one with the hands, but if you don’t know Levi you can’t figure out the silhouette.

Immediately, he thinks of professor Shadis. He is the one who helped his students open galleries or become collaborators for big galleries more than once. He has his number and maybe..maybe. He stops day dreaming- Armin’s eyes are expecting an answer:

“I’ll think about that, Armin. Thanks for the idea.”

Armin smiles and then bores his azure eyes into Eren’s:

“And Levi?”

Eren swollows the lump in his chest:

“I love Levi. Not for long ago, but long enough to realize that I want him to be happy. And he wouldn’t be happy with me.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Come on, Armin” he says “ you saw what happened this month. It was everywhere and I don’t know what will happen with his career. He did this for me, I know he went to the media because of me. Imagine what will happen if the reporters find out I am the reason why all this came into light. Why he publicly came out… what will happen then? When they find out about my family? They’ll drag Levi in mud. I don’t want that. I want him, but I am not that selfish to turn his work into nothing.”

Armin frowns and watches the paintings again:

“I want you to be happy.”

Eren gives him a lopsided smile:

“I will be. One day. It’s just it’ll be without Levi.”

Armin smiles back and Eren knows he gave hope to his best friend. It was no hope left for him though…

After Armin leaves Eren sits on the floor, before all the paintings. It’s July already, summer will be soon gone. Maybe Levi will still leave for Korea…

He picks up a piece of paper – he needs to name and explain his paintings if he decides to talk to Shadis. He looks at the one with the shore and imagines Levi’s nape, with his undercut and those little hairs and the fine strands of the longer ones.

_“On the other side of the sea” _he writes _“watercolor and acrylics. On the other side of the sea of our fears it’s hope and a future. We just have to cross that sea.”_

The phrase seems too childish, but it’s what was in his mind when he started painting it. Someone could have said that he should’ve painted himself, because he was the one who needed to overcome his fears. But it was not about him, it was about what he wanted from Levi – to overcome any obstacle in his life and live his dreams.

He tilts his head and starts writing words that’ll never reach Levi. He writes them anyway because that Eren who is inside him and loves Levi needs to let them out:

_“Dear Levi,_

_I know these words will never get to you, but this is me trying to fight the pain of not seeing you for an entire month._

_I’m sorry for everything. I know I was a coward and I didn’t fight more for what we had, what we were. I know I should’ve stood by your side in this month and I know you hoped I’d do that._

_But I can’t. I’m not worthy of you, Levi. I can’t stand by your side, me, a child with no future and no family. I can’t._

_I am a coward and I am not selfish enough to drag you into the mud of my life just to keep you with me. I’ve never thought I can feel for someone what I feel for you, but it seems I can’t keep those feelings either._

_I painted you again. My room is full of you, near the willows, playing the piano, watching the sea. The sea of my fears or the sea of yours, I don’t know which is it anymore. I painted you again because only like this I can still be in your arms, I can still feel safe and adored and wanted as I felt with you. I can still remember the way I felt when you held me, when you kissed me, when you saved me._

_Because I need to be saved, Levi, and in the last month I’ve come to think that, perhaps, you were the only one who could have saved me._

_But it doesn’t matter anymore, does it?_

_I want you to know one thing, that wherever you are, I will always love you._

_And it’ll come a time when you will be old, with a man by your side that truly deserves you. And in that moment, when you won’t be afraid of the end because you’ll know that you lived a long and happy life, that’s the only moment I want to steal from you. Perhaps for a second, when you’ll look around and you’ll see that man who deserved you more than me, you’ll remember that once, when you were young, there was a boy for whom you’ve been a hero and who loved you with all his childish heart._

_I’ll never forget you, my hero_

_Eren”_

The little piece of paper is tainted with tears, the letters blurry before his eyes. Eren watches the paintings, then the letter and, after all the tears he had had fallen, he smiles.

One thing was done right – he said goodbye to Levi properly.

He takes the letter and folds it. His phone vibrates and he answers. From the other side a well known voice speaks:

“Eren?”

“Mum?”

[1] It’s not over yet, Levi.


	15. The sum of all bad things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, helloo!  
Saturday comes with another chapter - probably one of the saddest from this story.  
!!! I have to warn you guys that this one contains graphic depictions of violence, so don't read if that triggers you.!!!  
I know you'd say why I tortured Eren so much in this one, but if you read my stories up until now you know EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. :)))  
So, yeah...  
Thank you for feedback - it's highly appreciated this time too and have a great week ^_^

Farlan is staring at a fixed point on the table, silent. Hanji taps a rhythm known only by her on the edge of her boot, her eyes moving between Farlan and Levi behind her glasses.

Isabel is at the counter, serving the last customers, she smiles and prepares coffee, her eyes following the three of them from time to time.

It’s 10 PM on a Sunday night and Levi came at “Croquant” after Eren left. It’s too much to see him now, but at least the kid kept his job – he could’ve very well asked to leave, knowing that Isabel and Farlan knew Levi.

“When are you leaving again?” Farlan breaks the silence running a hand through his sandy blonde hair.

“End of August I think. Jin Lee will probably tell me two weeks from now on”.

Hanji suddenly stops tapping and asks:

“Are you sure you want to leave things like that, Peanut?”

Levi groans and Farlan gives Hanji a look, telling her the fight is useless already – he tried to convince Levi to get back at Eren in the last month and nothing happened.

Levi frowns at Hanji:

“I told you I made up my mind already.”

Hanji narrows her eyes:

“I truly believe that is the stupidest choice you’ve ever made”.

“I don’t give a fuck, Hanji” Levi snaps and Hanji’s features transform, anger flaring in her eyes:

“You don’t give a fuck, but I do. Because you suffer and-“

Levi gets up and throws his hands in exasperation:

“I PROMISED I’LL PROTECT HIM HANJI! AND HE ENDED UP BEING FOLLOWED BY A MANIAC!!”

“AND THE MANIAC IS IN JAIL NOW FOR LIFE!!”

“IT FUCKING DOESN’T MATTER. HE TOLD ME HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH ME ANYMORE.”

“HE’S FUCKING 20!! OF COURSE HE’S SCARED”.

“Uhm, guys?” Farlan interrupts the shouting. The last people in the café give them long, accusing looks and Levi sits back down, clenching his teeth, while Hanji folds her arms and frowns at Levi.

The tension filled the air with electricity and the mood is most probably ruined for the clients too. It drives Levi mad, but his fights with Hanji were always like this and that is because Hanji knows Levi the best. She knows his past, she knows how he learned to play piano, she knows about his mother and Kenny, she knows everything. And if Farlan and Isabel often let him have his way, because he is like an older brother to them, Hanji doesn’t keep her mouth shut.

Caught up in his thoughts Levi notices too late that a blonde kid stopped in front of their table, staring at him, his cerulean eyes glimmering.

They all raise their heads at him, with different degrees of curiosity and probably annoyance in their eyes.

But the boy seems fixed only on Levi and he asks prudently:

“Levi?”

“Do I know you?” Levi asks, voice more harsh than he intended. He is definitely _not_ in the mood for autographs.

“You don’t” the boy says “but I know you because you dated my best friend.”

Levi jaw clenches and he observes:

“You know Eren”.

The boy nods and Levi adds:

“Are you here to punch me in the face just like Mikasa?”

The bruises faded in a week and a half. He’s not up for round two.

The blondie looks taken aback:

“What?! No.. I’m Armin. I just want to talk to you.”

Levi scans the kid – he has sunshine blonde hair, neatly cut and intelligent eyes, a warm baby blue shade that enhances the innocence in his features. Levi decides this discussion will definitely be different than the one with Mikasa.

He gets up and the kid – well, Armin – follows him in the backyard.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Levi inquires, folding his arms.

Armin looks around. He is not as tall as Eren, but still a bit taller than Levi. However, he seems more confident than Eren, more balanced, maybe even a bit more rational.

He clears his throat and fixes Levi with his cerulean orbs:

“Eren loves you. A lot. He didn’t tell you this, but he does” he inhales deeply and keeps going, voice as steady as before “the problem is he’s not selfish enough to make you stay. You see, he thinks he doesn’t deserve you.”

Levi shakes his head:

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Not for you, but for him, it does” Armin retorts in a grave tone.

“Am I the one who made him think he’s not worthy of me?”

Armin’s calculated façade seems to crumble suddenly:

“No, it’s not you.”

Levi figures this is the moment he was waiting for – if he doesn’t press Armin to tell him the truth now, when he is vulnerable, he’ll never see the end of this:

“Who does, then? Who abuses Eren?”

Armin freezes at Levi’s words, clenching his jaw and swallowing repeatedly, as if he’s not sure if he should tell what he has to tell. Levi decides to insist:

“Listen, kid, if you want to help him, you’re not going to do it if you just tell me half a truth. And I can’t help either. Almost two weeks ago Mikasa came and punched me in the face for hurting Eren. And I may deserve that, but I also need to know who makes Eren feel like he’s not worthy of happiness. Do you think I haven’t seen it? When I was with him? That he was afraid to feel, that he was smiling and laughing in small doses as if he was allergic to happiness?”

As Levi’s voice starts to weaver, Armin eyes are slowly filling with sadness. It looks disquieting on his innocent face, Levi thinks.

“His father” Armin whispers “a man that is called a father broke Eren’s heart so bad that he thinks he can’t be happy”.

Levi’s blood turns cold in his veins and something twists in his stomach and it’s unpleasant. There’s anger there, violent and unsteady and it presses Levi to ask questions that will certainly bring him more pain:

“For how long?” he growls and Armin’s eyes are wider now, more aware that Levi’s reaction is strong, that it shakes his insides:

“Since.. since he was a kid. At first, as far as I know, it was directed to his mother. But, in the end Eren became a victim too. And last year, last year was the worst” Armin adds in a whisper and Levi connects the dots:

“He is the reason why Eren was hospitalized. Last year and this year.”

Armin nods timidly:

“He found out that Eren is gay. Uhm…I don’t know if Jean had or had not a connection with this, but Eren got home and his father started punching him, then threw him in the street. He came to my house covered in blood and bruises and he couldn’t breathe properly. I took him to the hospital..with my grandfather. Then he stayed at my place for a while, until he found the studio.”

Armin’s eyes are filled with tears, just like Levi’s heart.

“I didn’t know Erwin was after him, kid. I thought he was just going to pester me” Levi confesses. Armin shakes his head as an answer:

“I know. Erwin it’s not the reason he broke up with you. It was just the pretense.”

Levi is confused – if Erwin was not the reason, which was?”

“I don’t understand..”

Armin grimaced:

“It’s the way Eren thinks. He thought that if you find out about his family and especially if the media finds out, he’d ruin your career. He didn’t want that. For him you were someone that deserved better. Much better. He was afraid he might steal your life from you.”

Levi squeezes his eyes shut – of course Eren would think like that. It was always this side of him who didn’t want to disturb, to _impose_, making him deny himself little moments with Levi. And Levi felt this, but he never thought it was that bad, that it stopped Eren to be happy.

“I would never judge Eren based on his family. I fell in…I fell in love with him for who he was” Levi tells Armin and the boy gives him a knowing smile, as if he already knew what was in Levi’s heart.

“What will you do?” Armin inquires and his eyes have this determined look that Levi cannot escape.

“I’ll go and talk to him tomorrow, tell him the truth. All of it, whether he likes it or not. He has to know that to me it doesn’t matter what his father did. I just…” for the second time since he met Armin, Levi can’t keep his mouth shut. He wants to confess again because the entire damn world needs to know that he loves Eren fucking Jaeger “I just want to be with him, kid.”

“Then be” Armin says, voice steady, azure eyes burning Levi’s skin.

***

Eren couldn’t sleep properly in the last two weeks. The only thought he had in his mind, the one that he kept on turning and twisting in his skull, was about his mother and her plan to run away from Grisha. She told Eren that she managed to get some money from a friend and that in almost two weeks, when Grisha is gone for Marley, she’ll take her stuff and leave. She found an apartment in Mitras, which was another small city, on the east of Shiganshina, and she’s going to stay there until the divorce is done. And then she’ll come, take Eren and move together to Marley.

That day is today and Eren doesn’t know what to think. It seems like a good plan, but a nagging thought tells him he should be scared. Grisha is not someone you can simply run away from, at least not without a fight and not without _losing._

He tried to tell his mother that maybe this is not the wisest decision, but she seemed too determined and Eren was afraid that, if he keeps pestering her, she’s going to change her mind. And Eren didn’t want that. He wanted his mother to run away, to free herself because a life with Grisha Jaeger was not a life.

So, the thing is today, around 12, he has to go to his house and help his mother with her stuff and then they’ll meet again when things will settle in Mitras.

He rises in the middle of the bed and scratches his nape, twisting between his fingers those strands of hair that still have dried paint of them. His eyes drift through the balcony, where he put all the paintings with Levi, those paintings who made Shadis curse and shove Eren aside because he didn’t show them earlier. The teacher then started to ramble how they were the perfect fit for a “New Age Art” gallery that would open somewhere around middle August in Marley. They were already searching for a collaborator, a young and talented artist, and Shadis decided on the spot that the perfect match was Eren. He was supposed to come and pick all the paintings in one week and facilitate the meeting between Eren and the art curator.

Eren feels the butterflies in his stomach dance again – he hasn’t been this excited in a while. He has a purpose now, a target, something that guides his steps in the nearest future. He doesn’t know how things will end up, but at least he has something to do now, something that maybe for a while it’ll make the pain of losing Levi more bearable. Because he’ll never be able to completely forget that there was once a man who changed his life in ways he never thought it was possible. Now he’ll learn to live with that pain as he learnt to live with the pain his father caused.

He decides it’s time to move from the bed and go out of his room. It’s too stuffy in there and the time to go for his mother is close. He dresses up and looks around the room once more. On his nightstand the letter he wrote to Levi is still unfolded, words spread in the narrow space of the room, filling it with the things Eren never had the chance to say to Levi. But it doesn’t matter in the end, does it?

Eren inhales and fights the lump in his throat – it threatens to block the air and make him gasp. And he knows that the sadness comes because Levi was not just his hero, it was his friend. Maybe his best friend, different than Armin or Mikasa. He didn’t grow up with Levi, they come from different worlds. Still, he had things to learn from the pianist – how to stand up for yourself, how to be honest, but not heartless, how to be genuine and most importantly how to love. Eren is not sure if Levi loved him or not, but he most certainly showed Eren how to love. He showed him that love is care and patience, is intimacy and shame thrown aside, it’s honesty and joy.

He shrugs and opens the door. It’s time to help someone dear in his life be free.

Outside the end of July looks like autumn. It rained again and there are puddles on the street, in which Eren sees his face, brows drown in worry and purple dark circles under his eyes. He tries to avoid his own reflection, scared that it might make him give up and abandon his mother, not because he doesn’t want to help, but because he is terrified of the outcome.

When he arrives closer to his house the bad feeling he had in his gut has gone overboard, making him skittish and agitated. But when he gets in front of his house he realizes it was not just a _feeling,_ it was real, something terrible has happened because the door is fully opened and from the inside can be heard the clatter of thrown things.

He starts running, without thinking, gets past the hallway and into the kitchen, where his mother is on the floor, protecting her head with her hands and Grisha is over her, ready to throw another punch.

“Dad, STOP!” Eren screams, throwing himself over the man, ready to push him aside somehow. Grisha turns, eyes looking wild, mouth open in a grotesque line of disgust and madness. He pushes Eren back, but he doesn’t want to give up anymore or to run away. A voice in his mind tells him he has to _fight_ and strange enough that voice has the snarky tone of Levi’s.

There is a moment of pushing and pulling, of hands over hands trying to grasp, moment in which his mother has the time to crawl and go outside the kitchen. But with every moment Eren feels how Grisha’s anger reaches another level and he starts throwing punches, uncoordinated indeed, but strong enough to cause pain. He grunts and growls, like a rabid animal, not being able to form the curse words he most certainly wanted to spit. However, one of those strong punches that Eren wasn’s able to avoid fully, makes him lose his balance and hit the wall. In a second, Eren doesn’t know where the speed comes from, Grisha’s big calloused hands are around his throat and he shoves his head at full force into the wall. The pain is bearable at first, but then it’s not anymore, as his father keeps shoving him, trying most probably to break his skull. And maybe it wouldn’t be that bad or maybe he’d be able to escape if it wasn’t for the vicious grip around his throat, blocking the air and making him dizzy.

And Eren suddenly figures out that he’s going to _die_ by the hand of the man who ruined his life and this is going to make him win. Win over Eren’s life, Eren’s past, Eren’s everything. And it’s so unfair, so _wrong_ and makes Eren want to scream all the words he never had the chance to tell his father. But then, the man shoves him again in the wall and this time something truly _cracks_, a horrible sound, followed by a huge pain that numbs his body and the feeling of something hot and slimy dripping in streams down his nape.

He can’t breathe anymore now, can’t fight – he doesn’t even remember if he tried to fight or not, and he knows this is the end. A pathetic death for someone pitiful like him, Eren thinks.

And as the darkness engulfs him he imagines he sees Levi, coming and shoving Grisha aside, throwing punches, but most probably is his mind the one that tries to create one more memory of the man he loved.

***

Levi is sure today is the day he’ll bring Eren back into his life, just like he told Armin. It was not a promise, at least not one labeled as a promise, but it kinda felt like that for Levi.

He got up, dressed, drank his coffee and ate something and jumped into his car. He moved fast to Marley and got to Eren building around 12. He inhales now deeply and gets ready to make the brat come back into his life, because, as sappy as it sounds, they are meant to be together.

He gets before the door and knocks, completely taken aback when the door opens to reveal Armin standing on the threshold:

“What are you doing here, kid?” Levi asks, panic making his stomach clench.

Armin looks disoriented and scared, confirming the bad feeling in Levi’s gut:

“I can’t find Eren, he was supposed to be home, Levi.”

He starts jumping from one feet to another and tears gather in the corner of his eyes.

“Ok, ok. Calm down. Do you know where he might be? Maybe he went grocery shopping?”

Armin shakes his head:

“No, his wallet is here. Levi, I’m scared. What if something happened to him?”

Levi frowns and tries to figure out where Eren might be, when Armin suddenly pales, skin almost white and he grips Levi wrist in desperation:

“His house! I think he might be at his house. Oh God, Levi, if he’s there….Grisha might….”

Levi puts his hand over Armin’s and tugs:

“Show me where the house is.”

They get into the car and in 5 minutes he parks on Eren’s street. Armin points the opened door and they both watch in horror as a woman crawls out of the house, crying and screaming for help.

The sense of time erases, as Levi jumps out of the car and into the house, almost tripping on the fallen pieces of furniture. Grunts and then a horrible sound of cracked bones direct his steps into the kitchen. The sight is atrocious, Eren pinned into a wall, blood painting the floor and his clothes. Levi sees red – he pushes the man that kept Eren aside, the bastard turning to throw punches at him and spitting:

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, CUNT?! HOW DARE YOU ENTER IN MY HOUSE?!”

He tries to hit Levi again, but his movements are uncoordinated and he reeks of vodka. Levi avoids him, a glimpse of Eren bloodied figure on the floor and the smudged blood on the wall making him lose it. He hits Grisha in the face, making him stumble and fall, and then starts to hit him with his feet, in the stomach, face, wherever he reaches, until he hears the sound of cracking bones again.

“YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! HE IS YOUR SON! YOUR SON!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO HIM? BECAUSE HE’S GAY, YOU FUCKING KILLED HIM JUST BECAUSE HE IS GAY???!!!”

At this moment he knows the anger he felt went loose, untamed, violent. He hits and hits and hits, then when the legs don’t seem enough, he kneels over the man and throws punches with his fists, cursing the body that is in front of him, a body that was supposed to _care_ and _love_ Eren. And Levi tells him everything Eren never said, screaming the words, so everyone should hear and know.

But then Armin puts a trembling hand in his shoulder, crying and pleading:

“Levi, please, Eren. Let’s help Eren.”

And Levi snaps back to reality and goes to Eren, body crumpled on the floor, blood sticking at the back of his head and staining his clothes. Levi takes him into his arms while he tells Armin to call an ambulance. Eren has his eyes closed, face pale, cheeks with trails of tears and bruises already forming around his neck:

“Eren, love, Eren, can you hear me???” Levi asks, voice cracking, his own tears now falling on his cheeks. There is no answer, only a body that looks fragile, erased by pain and blood and bruises.

“Eren, please!! oh God. Brat, please!”

He starts swaying the little frail body back and forth and doesn’t stop until the sound of ambulances approaching and paramedics entering the house brings him back to a rational state.

The road to the hospital seems lost in a fog. Levi watches as the paramedics take Eren into the ambulance and manage to stabilize him, until they arrive in Marley, at “Maria Hospital”. The ICU of Shiganshina’s little clinic isn’t enough. Carla is also bandaged and calmed down, now silently crying near Levi on the bench, mumbling “Oh, Eren” from time to time. Another ambulance and a police car follows the one they are in, carring Grisha.

Armin fumbles with the hem of his T-shirt, eyes red from crying and face pale. He throws concerned looks to Levi, staring at his bloodied knuckles. Levi clenches and unclenches them, grimacing when the pain hits, numb at first, then with full force – he’ll need something to stop the blood.

There is already an oxygen tube that helps Eren breathe and the doctor frowns and keeps checking the bruises around his neck, now having an angry purple shade.

When they get to the hospital, Eren is immediately taken to ICU, while Carla, Armin and Levi are left to wait on the hallway. It seems that Grisha has been taken to a different hospital, but the police team remained at “Maria” to talk to Carla and Levi.

A nurse bandages his knuckles and then a slouchy police officer addresses Levi:

“Mister Ackerman, may I speak to you?”

“I’d like to have some time to call my lawyer” Levi answers, picking his phone out of his pocket. The police officer nods and waits. Levi calls Kenny:

“What’s going on, lad?” Kenny sounds concerned, as if he already knows something bad happened. Levi blurts:

“I’m at “Maria”. Eren was beaten like a dog by his father and if I was 2 minutes late he would’ve been dead. I also beat the crap out of his drunken father. Can you call my lawyer? There is a police officer here. They need answers.”

There is that shocking silence first, then Kenny curses and hangs up. 15 minutes later, the hallway is invaded by Mike Zacharias, Head of Police Department in Marley, his investigation team and Floch Forster, who is Levi’s lawyer.

The team from Shiganshina is shocked by the amount of people came only because Levi Ackerman “called his lawyer” and the discussion goes faster than Levi expected.

2 hours later he is back on the hallway of ICU, exhausted. In a matter of hours the pillars of his life crumbled into pieces and turned upside down. He doesn’t know how that happened or why, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Kenny sits near him, grey eyes searching for something, Levi can’t figure for what.

“Say something” Kenny groans and Levi looks at him. Suddenly, Kenny is not his sarcastic uncle anymore, but a worried old man, with gray strands of hair and deep wrinkles.

“I don’t know what to say. I…”.

“You beat the crap out of that motherfucker” Kenny observes with icy cold voice.

“He deserved that. I should’ve killed him” Levi hisses. Kenny nods and adds:

“Yes, and now?”

Levi greets his teeth. The bandages around his knuckles are white, carefully wrapped and he feels the ointment getting into his skin, soothing the pain. But what about the pain of the heart? Who mends that?

“Now Eren needs to be fine.”

Kenny studies him again and puts a warm hand on his shoulder:

“He’ll be fine. You got there in time.”

Did he? It seems to Levi that he was late, too late, that he arrived only to reach for all the broken pieces of Eren, scattered around the floor of his kitchen. Maybe he could have changed the outcome of this if he tried more, if he was there of Eren more, even when he was scared to be there for Levi.

Maybe he was a coward, maybe he gave up too fast when Erwin tried to crawl in his life from the past. That was a mistake – to run away from Eren just because Erwin got to him first.

Levi hopes he will have the chance to redeem himself for that mistake, but maybe, unfortunately, he might not get chances anymore.


	16. Close your eyes and count to three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Hello! :D  
I have the pleasure to announce you that we passed through the angst in this fanfic and that from now on better times are coming :D Cheers for better times :))))  
Thank you so much for feedback and hope you'll enjoy this chapter.  
Have a nice week guys!

Eren becomes conscious. It’s a slow process at first, like he’d come out from a long dive underwater. He starts to hear first, to smell and then to _feel_. But when he does start to feel the pain crashes him at once. It’s not as they say in movies, that you slowly come back to reality, it’s not like that at all.

It’s like a train hits him – he feels the pulsating ache in his back, the throbbing pain of his neck and the numbness that already starts to dissipate, from his nape. He tries to swallow and realizes his throat is fucking dry and swallowing feels like he ate needles.

But worse it’s that he remembers – all of it. The terror of seeing his mother hurt, the anger bubbling in his chest against his father, the terrible feeling that he’ll die, strangled like a dog, by a man who was supposed to care for him, to guide him through life and to love him unconditionally.

And then he also remembers Levi – and this is the moment he opens his eyes, just to see the silhouette of the pianist on a chair nears his bed. So Levi coming back for him was not just the way his mind dealt with his final moments, but something real.

The other one studies him for a few seconds – his stormy eyes are wary, purple circles under them. Then, he gives Eren the saddest smile ever, but a smile anyway, and murmurs:

“Hey..”

Eren knows it’ll be worse if he cries, but he can’t help himself. Tears are falling down his cheeks as Levi pulls the chair closer to his bed and reaches for his hand:

“Hey, it’s ok, love. You’ll be ok.”

Eren lets Levi’s touch comfort him, his fingers cold over Eren’s, as they usually were. He notices the bandages around his knuckles and wonders what happened, but he’s pretty sure right now he can’t hear another horrible story. The tears stop after a few minutes and Levi reaches again, with a tissue, to wipe Eren’s eyes. He gives him another smile, this time warmer, full of care.

“Good, now will you speak to me? Tell me how you feel?” Levi murmurs again, pushing gently Eren greasy strands of hair out of his forehead as he used to, like Eren never broke his heart, like Eren never walked away from his life just because he was afraid.

“Hug me” Eren says, squeezing Levi’s wrist as much as he has force in that moment and Levi snorts and leans in. His body is warm and strong and makes Eren feels safe and protected again. The minty scent of Levi’s perfume invades his nostrils and Eren closes his eyes and wonders if they still have a chance. But then, he suddenly feels stupid, because of course there is no chance for them anymore!

Levi pulls back and sits in his chair, his hands not leaving Eren’s. He frowns, falling deep in thought, then fixes Eren with his silver gaze and says:

“I’m sorry, Eren. For letting you down, for not fighting more for you, for not making you trust me enough to tell me why you are insecure about us.”

But how could Levi think that he is at fault, when obviously Eren is the one who failed him?

“I failed you” the boy says and Levi tilts his head and sighs.

“You didn’t. You were scared and Erwin was a crazy bastard….We need to stop to apologize, what do you think? What if we’d start again from that night at Petra? Forget about the rest?”

Eren frowns:

“You can’t. Your career…” Eren rasps and swallows again when the pain in his neck pulsates.

Levi gives him a sharp look and declares:

“Eren, my career is my problem. What goes public because I want or not. Me being gay, me being with you, it’s not something that will affect my future. And if it does, then I don’t give a fuck about what people say. I just want to be with you” Levi adds after a while “be with you and love you and smile and cry with you. For as long as we’re good for each other. And you are good for me. You were, you are and I’m pretty sure you’ll be.”

The tears that Eren tried to stop are back now and Levi is also back with the task of wiping them off, then he says, as a plea, whispered softly:

“Tell me Eren, will you be with me again? Will you let me love you again?”

And now Eren is sobbing, because Levi confessed two times already that he loves Eren and he can’t believe that, because Eren loves him back.

“But I’m broken” he says anyway and Levi frowns.

“You’re not broken. You’re just bent and you’ll overcome this. We’ll overcome this.”

Eren draws circles over Levi bandaged knuckles, trying to make his heart beat slower and to numb the pain from his body so he can damn think. So he can decide, because another mistake, another break up with Levi will break him too.

“You’re hurt” he observes and Levi eyes darken, the silver turning into something sharp, wild, like an uncontrolled rain storm.

“It was worth it.”

“You – you fought with dad?” Eren stutters, bottom lip trembling.

“That sorry excuse of a human being cannot be called a father, Eren. And you shouldn’t think about him. You should think about yourself and how you’ll get better.”

Eren closes his eyes and tries to inhale. The pain in his throat is still there, but it’s bearable. He owns Levi an answer and he owns his heart a choice.

“I love you too” he says simply, because he doesn’t have the power to say more, at least not now when everything is chaotic and because at this moment what matters is his love for Levi. When he opens his eyes the pianist has tears in his eyes too and he leans in and kisses Eren on his temple, lips lingering over the skin, caressing it like the most fragile glass in the world.

“Good” he whispers “because my heart was waiting for yours.”

He gives a kiss on Eren’s forehead too and adds:

“I’ll go call doctor Kruger. She needs to know you woke up.”

In the next two weeks Eren feels overwhelmed. He was asleep for two days, but the number of things he had to catch up after was enough for two years.

Firstly, Levi beat the crap out of Grisha, breaking his jaw, nose and two ribs. The bandages around Levi knuckles were there because he lost it a bit, as Armin told Eren the same day he woke up. The police considered that it was self-defense and Levi was not punished in any way.

Secondly, the Police Department of Marley got involved in this, because Armin called the police after the assault and then, later, Levi and his uncle Kenny tried to do everything they could to get Grisha into prison, for first degree attempted murder, assault and domestic violence. This would mean in total 20 years of prison – the only thing that the prosecutor needed was Eren to testify against his father. Which Eren knows it’ll be the most difficult things he has to do.

Thirdly, media found out about the attack and because Levi was involved, 20 articles were already on the Internet the day he woke up, and more were to come. Levi made a public statement in the morning Eren woke up and then another one, two days after.

And finally, Levi found a therapist for Eren, to help him with his PTSD after the attack and his depression. Although at first he didn’t like the idea, Eren began going to his session the fourth day after he woke up. His mother also received support for her PTSD and depression and things were slowly, but surely, beginning to settle.

Today is the day Eren will be discharged and the day his father’s trial was scheduled. Eren sits on a chair in the hospital hallway while Levi takes care of the formalities for his leaving. He has three or four papers he needs to fill in and a concentrated look in his stormy eyes. He wears a grey shirt and black slacks because they need to go to the Court after and Eren stares at Levi’s toned thighs, thinking that he definitely went crazy if he has the state of mind to do that in such a day.

Also, the idea of standing up against his father, officially, in a freaking Court Room makes his heart begin a crazy race in his chest, but he knows there is no other way. He talked to the therapist already about this day, about his fears and his need to do this. It’ll be a fight at the end of a war, a fight that will decide the future, but somehow he’ll need to go through it. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but it’s the right one – for his mother and for himself. And maybe for Levi too, because no one else was brave enough to step into the darkness of Eren’s life and clean the shit. Yes, Armin and Mikasa were there for him, but between being there and actually doing something, with the risk of being tactless, is a difference. He is not upset or disappointed by Armin or Mikasa, nor he wanted them to change his life because he knows they were kids just like him. Maybe they were as scared as him to do something – to go to the police or to pressure Eren to go.

But Levi, well, Levi as Levi, Eren thinks. Levi was living his life by the rule of not giving a fuck about what people think or say. Yes, he was cynic, yes he was sarcastic and crude and mean sometimes, but he was also righteous. If something was not right, Levi would point that out, no matter the consequences. And Eren knows now not many people do that. Not many people think like that.

He finishes filling in the papers and comes back to Eren, eyes both gentle and serious:

“Hey, brat! Ready to go?”

And Eren wants to say that he is _in no way_ ready to go because he’s on the verge of a panic attack and he doesn’t know if he can stand against his father in a fucking courtroom. He doesn’t even know if he can tell the story of their dysfunctional family, to let all those moments of pain out in the open so everyone can see and form an opinion on that. But then, Levi bores his silver eyes into his and the world suddenly seems better, wiser. He takes Eren’s hand into his and squeezes in assurance:

“You know I’m going to be there for you. Every step of the way” Levi adds with his sharp voice, that doesn’t seem sharp to Eren anymore.

They get up and go to “Marley Law Court” where Levi’s attorney is waiting for them. Eren already talked to Floch the other day about his statement, but now he feels like he doesn’t remember any of it. He inhales and decides it’s better if he takes the things step by step, instead of thinking what is waiting for him in that room or how he’ll going to confront his father.

When they get in the room, Eren notices that the first rows are filled with familiar faces: Armin, Mikasa and Carla are there, along with Levi’s uncle, Hanji, Petra, Oluo, Isabel, Farlan, Ymir and Krista. In the second row he sees Reiner’s almost white blonde hair and Bert’s slouchy figure. He’s surprised to see fucking _Jean_ on the third row, with Marco by his side. He gives Levi a side glance and the pianist leans in to whisper softly in his ear:

“After all of this is over, I’m going to explain everything to you.”

Eren sits on the bench, with Levi on his left side and Floch on his right. The judge comes in, they all get up to greet, then after the introductions his father is brought in, hands at the back and cuffed and his lawyer having a half grim, half bored expression on his long (_too long) _face.

The prosecutor presents the accusations, then each witness comes to testify: Carla is the first, then is Levi, Armin, Mikasa and finally Eren. When he gets up and looks for the first time at his father, he realizes he feels nothing, except regret. It pulsates in his chest and makes his heart heavy, but otherwise, the fear he felt this morning, the terror and the sadness and the insecurity, they all are gone. It’s just regret there, because he wishes he didn’t have to do this, to stand and _fucking testify_ against a man who was supposed to be a guide for him, a life line. And as the grim faced lawyer and Floch ask him questions, Eren suddenly realizes that he doesn’t need Grisha to be his life line. Because he is, ultimately, just a stranger. His life line should be Armin or Mikasa or _Levi. _

As unfair as it sounds, his mother was never truly _there_. She gave up fighting and Eren can’t see her as a life line. She’s just his mother, the only person he ever wanted to save, the person who stood in his life as a _parent, _but never as a guide. Never as a _hero._

When he finishes his testimony and looks at Grisha, he sees nothing but a frustrated man, with really big problems and a wasted life. Because he had the chance to live beautifully, with a smart and talented son and a loving wife by his side, and instead he chose to be miserable and destroy their family He doesn’t deserve forgiveness, nor mercy, only the lifeless look that Eren throws him. When he sits back on the bench, Levi’s hand is already there to caress his, and Eren realizes the only _hero_ that he needs, _his only hero_ will forever be Levi, just like he said in that letter, that seems written so far away in the past.

The judge gives a half an hour break until the sentence is decided and they all gather in the hallway. Levi keeps Eren’s hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly every other minute, like a constant caress that reminds Eren he is not alone. Levi doesn’t ask question as if he’d already know how Eren feels and he doesn’t need answers anymore. His mother comes to him and pulls him in a tight hug, whispering “I’m so sorry, son” and wetting his shirt with tears. Eren hugs her back, breaking contact with Levi and starting to feel like he suddenly doesn’t want to be there anymore. But then, Levi pushes his bangs out of his eyes and tells him:

“Just a bit more, ok? I’ll go buy you something sweet to eat” he adds with a wink, leaving Eren with his mother, Armin and Mikasa.

His friends give him different degrees of sad smiles, but encouraging anyway, otherwise they keep it silent, like what they said in the courtroom drained them of energy. Kenny approaches them as Carla releases from Eren’s embrace and wipes her tears off. Kenny brings in the smell of tobacco, coming straight to Eren and putting a heavy hand on his shoulder:

“Good to see you’re better, lad” he says and Eren nods shyly – it’s the first time he directly talks to Levi’s uncle and he really doesn’t know what the hell he is supposed to say.

“Where’s the snarky little shit?” Kenny asks and Mikasa flinches, while Eren blinks repeatedly, because he doesn’t know if the “little shit” is Levi or not. Mikasa saves him just in time:

“He’s outside, uncle… and stop talking like that. You’ll freak the hell out of Eren”.

Someone puts his arms around Eren’s neck from behind and Hanji’s voice booms in Eren’s ears:

“Oh, come on, Mikasa, Eren is stronger than that. Isn’t it?” she adds with a pat on Eren’s shoulders. Farlan and Isabel come too and talk a bit with Mikasa and Armin and Eren realizes they already know each other and he probably missed a lot of things.

When Levi comes back with a blueberry ice cream for Eren, the younger one is surrendered by their friends, plus Carla, Kenny and Floch. Levi introduces himself between Eren and Kenny and gives his uncle a look when the older man doesn’t want to make room for him:

“Will you let me stay near my boyfriend, old man?” he sneers and Kenny frowns and then addresses the entire group:

“Back off, lads, the midget got possessive”.

Hanji snorts at that and starts laughing hysterically, while Isabel and Farlan make no effort to hide their amusement. Eren’s friends seem a bit taken aback by the exchange, pondering between laughing too or acting like the discussion never took place.

Levi shoves Kenny aside and addresses Eren’s friends too, as he hands the boy his ice cream with a gentle smile:

“Oh, don’t look like you’d be shitting in your pants. This crazy bastard is my fucking uncle.”

Kenny clicks his tongue and arranges his hat – Eren wonders how the hell he didn’t die of heat with that thing on his head in that hot day:

“Ackermans are rabid bitches, in case you were wondering” he sneers and winks at the group.

Armin blushes and Mikasa wants to say something snarkier, but then Jean and Marco approach with careful eyes, as if they’d be coming closer to a fucking lion and Eren frowns and searches Levi’s eyes. Levi notices the shift in mood immediately and takes Eren aside, followed prudently by Jean and Marco.

“_Horseface_ was in the hospital the night you were brought” Levi begins without introduction and Jean doesn´t even budge at the nickname.

“I still don’t understand” Eren murmurs, trying to finish his ice cream that now is melting.

“I wanted to apologize” Jean intervenes “for…what I did to you….”.

Eren looks him in the face for the first time – Jean has that calm look that he used to have at the beginning, when they were dating: the look of a child who wanted to follow his dreams and make the world his.

“Everything…” Jean adds, lowering his head and staring at the floor “I..I don’t know why I did what I did. In the past and then at the coffee shop. And then…” he stops and looks at Marco who nods at him to keep going.

Eren watches Levi – his grey eyes pin Jean into place with a severe look that says “one bad move and you’re dead”. Jean inhales, raises his eyes, sees Levi’s burning stare and then looks at Eren:

“One week before you got into hospital, I was with Marco in the center of the city. I leaned in and kiss him, nothing more – it was just a peck and we did things like this in the public before, without problems, expect maybe a few stares here and there. This time I got a punch in the face and some…disgusting insults that are probably enough for the rest of my life” he finishes with a tight line on his lips “It was your dad” Jean whispers at the end.

Suddenly, things are clear for Eren – karma is a bitch and _does _exists. Because now, after all this time, Jean lived on his skin, for a minute or less, what Eren lived his entire life. And even if it’s not moral to be happy for someone’s misfortune, Eren is. The universe makes you pay for your mistakes.

He fixes Jean too and observes with a cold voice:

“It doesn’t erase what you did, though”.

Jean looks like he’s in pain and somehow this encourages Eren more to tell what he feels:

“It doesn’t erase what you said to me back then – do you even remember, Jean? You told me no one will ever care, no one will ever have me if I don’t suck a dick and get fucked like a whore.”

Jean shuts his eyes, frowning even more, while Marco clenches his jaw. Eren doesn’t know if Marco knows how they broke up, what Jean said, how painful it was to hear all those things and then to go home and be thrown in the street by your own father.

“You told me I deserve to be alone…” he keeps going, throwing the cone of the ice cream in the nearest trash bin “but you know what, Jean? I was already alone. Even with you, I was alone because you didn’t care. I was in pain and the only thing you saw back then was sex. One question, Jean” he inquires, making the other one open his eyes and look back:

“If dad haven’t had beaten you on the street, would you have come and apologize to me?”

Jean clenches his jaw. Levi looks at Eren as if he would see him for the first time in his life. Eren keeps going – these things that he says now have been said in his mind for years. Truths for Jean, truths for his father, truths for his mother. They kept stacking up in his mind, weighting on his shoulders and he realizes now they need to go away – because now someone is there for him, _will be there for him_ more than everyone else.

“You wouldn’t have, Jean” Eren adds “and this is why I can only thank you for being here today and _I can accept _your apology, but I _can’t forgive you_. At least not now.”

Eren then turns to Levi tugs at his sleeve:

“Are we going back? I want to go _home_.”

Levi nods, takes his hand again leads him back into the court room.

The sentence, read with a severe tone by the Judge, a short woman with grey hair and round glasses, echoes between the heavy walls and in Eren’s ears:

_“Grisha Yeager, I, Rico Brzenska, Judge of the State of Marley, find you guilty for first degree attempted murder, assault and domestic violence. Taking into consideration the proofs that have been presented to the Court and the fact that I consider you a public danger, I sentence you to life prison in the Liberio State Prison, without possibility of parole.”_

And in that moment Eren looks at his father again and sees nothing, all is hollow. But for some reason, Eren expected that, so, even if his father doesn’t show any regret, Eren is at least satisfied that justice was served.

***

Levi pours the hot coffee in his mug and goes back to his bedroom. Eren sleeps on his back, spread all over the bed, with his unruly hair free, like a chocolate halo on the pillow. He sits near him on the bed and Eren mumbles something in his sleep, sign that he’ll soon wake up. Levi smiles and caresses Eren’s cheek and the boy opens his eyes, giving Levi the cutest sleepy smile ever. Levi leans in and kisses a warm temple:

“Hey, sleepy head”.

“Mhm” Eren mumbles and Levi snorts.

It’s been two weeks since the trial and Eren slowly, but surely seems better. At first he didn’t even talked to Levi about what happened. He just ate and slept and asked Levi to play the piano for him. He went to therapy, then came back and snuggled in Levi all evening, inhaling his scent and then falling in a deep sleep, often shaken by horrible nightmares.

Fortunately in the last two days the nightmares were gone, leaving Eren rest the entire night undisturbed.

“What do you want to eat?” Levi asks him as the boy raises in the middle of the bed and scratches his nape:

“Uh..pancakes?” he asks Levi with a grin and Levi snorts because Eren asks for pancakes only when he feels good.

“Pancakes will be” Levi says and takes Eren in his arms, walking to the living room and disposing Eren on the sofa with an “uffff”. He giggles and pokes Levi’s cheek:

“That was very gracious, mister Ackerman” he teases and Levi retorts, without thinking:

“Glad you’re better” and then he immediately regrets his words because he promised himself he won’t bring the subject into the light if Eren doesn’t.

Eren’s smile fades a bit, but then he brings Levi into a tight hug and murmurs:

“Thank you”.

Levi hugs back and murmurs too:

“Any time, Eren.”

“I love you” Eren says shyly, hiding his nose in Levi’s neck. Levi feels like he’ll combust, but then reminds himself he has a breakfast to make and he tells Eren:

“I love you too, Eren. I’ll tell you my story, ok? I know you’re waiting for this, but not now. Maybe next week?”

Eren seems to ponder his answer and then nods in the crook of Levi’s neck:

“Ok.”

“Ok” Levi says back. He wants to release himself, but then Eren calls him in that voice of his, that Levi thinks sounds like a plea, like someone who wants to scream for help, but instead just lets the words out, hoping for a miracle:

“Levi?”

“Yes?”

“Can we go somewhere? Away from home?”

And Levi’s heart aches because this kid, that’s been through so much, wants _away_, but he already sees Levi’s apartment as _home._

“Where do you want to go?” Levi asks.

“I want to see the ocean” Eren says, boring his eyes into Levi’s, those eyes that are already like the ocean.

Levi kisses him gently on the lips, tasting Eren’s warmth in the morning, happy that Eren doesn’t avoid him as he did last week, as if he’d be ashamed again to let Levi kiss him.

“I’ll see what I can do” Levi says, lips still over Eren’s.

Eren grins and the snaps his fingers, teasing Levi:

“Now, where are my pancakes?”

Levi answers, bemused:

“Cocky brat”.

“Yes, yes, now give me pancakes, Elliott. Chop, chop!”

Levi starts laughing at Eren’s serious face and pouted lips and heads to the kitchen to make the damn pancakes. Because Eren asks for them and he joked about that and he seems better and, uhhh, this is everything that Levi wants.


	17. You have happiness in your hair, my love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
I know it's really early for the chapter to be dropped, but this weekend I'm out of town so I thought it's better safe than sorry :D  
I don't know if you read my previous fics or not, but there is always a scene by the sea shore or the ocean, in summer or winter or whatever. I know it's kinda repetitive but I love the immensity of water and the sea so much I can't help myself. :D So in this chapter there is the ocean too and a looooot of happiness cuz our boys need that :D  
It's one of my fav chapters of this story.  
Enjoy :D  
Also can't believe there are just a few more until the end :((((((  
Have a nice week and don't forget to like/comment/bookmark :D

Three days after their conversation about going away, Eren wakes up at 7 AM, with an excited Levi by his side. He grumbles something, because it’s an ungodly hour in August and Levi does not usually do things like this. But then Levi pours him some coffee and says:

“You said you want to see the ocean, so I pulled some strings, called some friends and made you a surprise”.

Eren frowns, munching his croissant:

“Where are we going?”

Levi smirks:

“I’ll tell you in the plane.”

“P-plane?!” Eren stutters “but I..I”

Levi waves his hand in dismissal:

“Everything is prepared, brat, you just have to dress up.”

Eren blinks, completely dumbfounded – trust Levi to make your wishes come true in completely mindfucking ways. However, he finds himself getting excited soon and preparing for a trip, God knows where..actually Levi knows. But the prospect of some days away with Levi, ocean involved, makes Eren stomach dance and puts his mind at ease, forget all the grime of the last weeks, forget what he’s been through.

For the first time in the last year,_ hope_ shines in Eren’s chest, in his heart, making it beat faster, not with fear or regret or sadness, but with excitement and happiness.

They get to “Eldia International Airport” and then in the plane and Eren feels like he’s going to die of curiosity if Levi doesn’t tell him where they’re going.

So, once they get to their seat and the planes leaves Marley, making Eren feel pressure at the back of his head, he asks Levi again:

“Will you tell me where we’re going now?”

Levi seems to contemplate whether he should answer the question or not, but then with a smirk he leans in and whispers in Eren’s ear:

“Newquay, Cornwall”.

Eren eyes widen:

“We-we’re going to UK?!”

Silver eyes bemused, Levi answers:

“Glad to know you know where Cornwall is.”

Eren clamps his mouth shut and pokes Levi:

“Brute” he declares with a fake british accent.

Levi snorts:

“The brute will take you to see the ocean. Now sleep. You made quite a scene this morning when I woke you up” he teases Eren.

“I didn’t!! Not my fault you make the damn surprises like this.”

Levi snorts again and kisses Eren’s temple gingerly and Eren thinks that yes, this is what happiness looks like.

Hours later they are cramped in the back of a Mini Cooper that takes them from Newquay Airport to somewhere Eren doesn’t know because Levi stubbornly refuses to tell him what the hell is going on.

The driver is a ginger that tells them the whole damn history of the region on the way while Levi ignores him completely and throws wicked glances at Eren, looking absolutely pleased with the fact that Eren is dying to know where the fuck they are going.

After 20 minutes they arrive in front of a cottage somewhere close to Newquay Beach, as the driver declares gingerly and Eren is mesmerized. The house is small, walls in red brick. It has one floor and small pink and red roses in the front garden and somewhere in the distance Eren hears the murmur of the waves.

The driver leaves after it arranges all their bags on the ground and Levi takes his hand in his and kisses it:

“Welcome to <<Kutchel’s Rest>>” he says, leading Eren to the door. He fishes a small key from his back pocket and opens it. Inside it smells like green tea and lemon. They leave the too many bags at the entrance, near the door. The narrow hallway leads to a small living room, with a wine-red sofa, a tiny coffee table before the fire place and a small piano behind the sofa. The room is connected to a small kitchen, the pale blue furniture in contrast with the dark brown wooden floor and walls. It has a fridge, a stove, two cupboards and a small table.

In the left corner there is a wooden stairway that leads to the first floor, Eren presumes. He’s a bit overwhelmed by everything – the coziness of the place, the sweet relaxing scent that lingers between the walls, a mix of tea, wooden floor, lemon and ocean breeze and Levi’s grey eyes that fix him, waiting for a reaction.

“Do you like it?” he asks shyly and Eren nods. Levi takes his hand again and leads him to the stairway, that creaks slightly when they step on it. Up there they get into another hallway - to the left a bedroom and the right, judging by the pale seafoam green tiles – the bathroom.

The bedroom is small, the walls in buttermilk cream, the pale blue duvet over the bed and numerous pillows making Eren feel again like this place is the epitome of coziness.

Opposite to the bed there is a big wooden wardrobe and a small desk with an old chair and an old lamp. There are books stacked on the desk and under it and the entire room is filled with the grey-ish light of the sky that comes through the balcony.

In the distance Eren can see the ocean. The ocean that he never saw up until now – Levi doesn’t know that – the ocean of his fears. A light pat on his shoulder makes him jolt a bit and he turns to Levi that whispers:

“Let’s see the ocean. We’ll settle in after.”

They get out of the house through a small door in the kitchen, Eren’s teal Converses sinking in sand. It’s moody outside, grey sky with grumpy clouds and an ocean breeze that ruffles their hair.

Levi’s silhouette, lean and delicate, leads him on a sandy path, flanked by bushes that Eren identifies as reed, most probably. The blue immensity of the ocean gets closer and closer, until they are on the beach, wind a bit more powerful than before, seagulls floating above the waves.

It’s a constant come and go, like the monotone beat of the heart, the constant thump of the pulse. Eren gets closer to the foamy waves, letting his eyes roam over the immensity of blue, salty scent deep in his nostrils and invading his lungs. He sits there in silence for a few minutes, not numb, but completely overwhelmed, like this is a far too sweet dream.

Cold gentle fingers interlace with his and just then he realizes there are tears on his cheeks. Levi’s gentle touch wipes them off while Eren whispers:

“I’ve never seen the ocean, up until now.”

A fragment of sadness crosses Levi’s face, then he answers, fingers on Eren’s chin, pulling him closer for a kiss:

“I’m glad that I changed that, then”.

Levi’s lips on his are warm and salty, and mingle with his, caressing and sucking lightly. When they part Levi’s eyes have the shade of stormy clouds above, his voice fragile as he says:

“You see, I think right now we crossed the ocean of our fears. Mine and yours.”

Eren’s eyes widen and Levi nods, confirming Eren’s suspicions:

“Armin gave it to me, the letter. He found it in your room that night” Levi explains, sitting down, directly on the sand, knees pulled under his chin. Eren follows:

“I know I shouldn’t have read it, but I did.”

He doesn’t say anything after and Eren doesn’t know how to fill the silence or if this silence between them needs to be filled. Besides, he doesn’t know at this very moment what looks more ethereal – the wildness of the deep blue ocean waves or Levi’s profile in the ocean breeze, inky strands of hair ruffled, ruining his usually pristine hair style. If Eren concentrates a bit, he can swear the humidity and salt curled Levi’s hair a bit.

The pianist inhales – it seems he needed the silence to put order in his thoughts and he turns to Eren, gaze determined and aflame:

“I love you, I want you to know that. And it’s not just a whim to me. It never was. I am committed to this, to _us_ as long as you’ll have me. And I know it might not be easy – because of me or because of you - it doesn’t matter. But I am willing to cross whatever boundaries we need to cross to make this work, brat.”

He pauses for a second and stares at the waves, elegant fingers tangling in strands of now completely mussed hair:

“You said in that letter you think you don’t deserve me, that you are not enough. But who are you to decide?” he says, narrowing his slate eyes at Eren, look softening as he keeps going “I think I am the one who has to decide that. If you are what I want or not” he shrugs “and you are.”

He turns completely to Eren now, taking his hand in his and leading them to his chest, where his heart is beating under his light T-shirt. Eren can feel the constant thump under his fingertips:

“And I want you to steal everything from me. Not just a fleeting moment at the end of my life, when I’ll probably be senile. I want you to steal my entire life, every second and breathe, every cell, every beating of my heart, everything that is good in me and you want. This is what I feel for you – that you are probably the only one that could take everything that I am and I’d still want to give you more.”

Eren is shaking now under Levi’s touch, but not from fear or sadness, but because for the first time someone tells him he can have everything. Not just a fragment or a small piece, but _everything._ He leans in, Levi’s arms wrapping around him – one around his nape and the other around his waist, pulling him in and kissing him, touches gentle and heated, careful and full with want, until they both separate for a breathe, lips tasting like ocean and Levi and Eren and what they mean together.

When the wind gets even more intense and Eren starts to shiver, Levi takes his hand again, pulling him up and then letting Eren settle on his back, for a piggy back ride to the cottage.

Eren’s too long legs dangle in the air, chest pressed under Levi strong back, fingers grasping his shoulders. They end up giggling stupidly all the way and falling into a fit of bigger laughter in the house, as they unpack.

***

The first week in their small cottage – Levi thinks – is for healing. The span of their existence there stretches between the first sip of strong coffee, made by Eren, the smell of croissants or pancakes or british breakfast, cooked by Levi and the silent moments of the night, when Eren’s body is pressed near his, breathe slowing down until he falls in a deep relaxed sleep.

During the day, they either wander around the beach, swimming in the ocean when it’s warmer or simply read books on a blanket, letting the back and forth of the waves fill their silences.

On Friday they visit Newquay Zoo and the Aquarium and linger around the city, visiting coffee shops and taking tone of pictures. When they get back in their small cottage they are exhausted and Eren falls asleep on the sofa.

Levi takes him in his arms, a bundle of limbs and warmth as always, and carries him into the bedroom. He lets Eren in his boxers and covers him with the sheet.

As night falls and sleep wraps around Levi slowly after the long day, he replays in his mind the events of the last week. Eren got definitely better, talking more about what happened, remembering painful moments from the past, that made his voice weaver, but he kept on going anyway.

As for the touches and kisses, they manage to get comfortable with each other again, bodies pressed naked together and lips kissing everything they can reach. It didn’t go past that, but Levi is not upset. He doesn’t need more, he is happy as it is, having Eren near him being the kid he needs to be, being the kid he never had the chance to be. He’s smiling and giggling all the time now and he has, to Levi surprise, two senses of humor: one that is dry and sarcastic and matching Levi’s, and another one that is purely innocent and goofy. Levi never saw him like that, like finally these days the _real_ Eren is coming into light, with all his flaws and antics and good, brilliant sides.

And when he wakes up in the morning Levi thinks it’s time for Eren to see the _real_ him too, even if it might be painful.

As they relax in the bathroom, tub filled with foam that smells like strawberries, credit to Eren’s shopping need for toiletries in the previous day, Levi inhales and gets ready for a walk down the memory lane. Eren’s back rests on his chest, the boy playing with the foam gathered on Levi’s bony knees. After a while he asks:

“What does <<kutchel>> means?”

“It’s my mother’s name” Levi answers as Eren tilts his head backwards and kisses his chin with a smack.

“And..uhm..your mother..?” Eren hesitates.

“She’s in Paris. She lives there.”

Eren moves, making the foam and water splash a bit on the floor as he turns to face Levi completely:

“You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to” he says after a second or two of attentive scan over Levi’s features.

“I know, but I want to. It’s fair only like this” he observes, pushing Eren’s wet hair back “it’s just it’s not nice….what you’ll hear.”

Eren grimaces and turns back to his previous position, resting his head on Levi’s shoulder as he speaks:

“What I’ve been through it’s not nice either…”

He then closes his eyes, as if he waits for Levi to speak when he’ll be ready, fingers tracing patterns on his knees again, making the foam move from a bone to another. Outside the rain _pats-pats-pats_ on the roof – August is moody.

“I am the son of a prostitute” Levi blurts and sees how Eren’s eyes open suddenly in surprise, but he keeps still, waiting.

“My mum had a rough childhood. My grandfather left his wife when mum was 5, leaving her with a child to take care of and no money. They were very poor and mum didn’t have the chance to go to school. When she was 16 grandma died and she had to find a way to make money. So..you know, she picked up the oldest job ever.”

Eren fixes a point on a tile of the wall and frowns. Levi can almost hear the clogs in his head as he thinks. He keeps going:

“When she was 18 at her brothel came a French Politician…a man that normally would never walk into such a place. Still, for some reason my mum never figured out, he came in, saw her and asked for a night. Paid mum’s boss with more than she usually got for sex and took her to his hotel room. The next morning mum came back to the brothel, lying to his boss that she slept with the man….they didn’t. He didn’t touch her that night, only let her take a bath in a normal bathroom and gave her food.”

Eren’s frown is now gone, replaced by curiosity. He splashes water again, moving on the opposite end of the tub and fixing Levi, their legs laced together.

“He kept doing that for two months, until mum asked him if he’s..you know…impotent. He laughed his ass off and told her it was not about that. She told him that if it was not that she hopes he’s not looking for a wife, because she’s the worst choice ever. He retorted it was not about that either, although if the future wife was her, he’d give 0 fucks about the consequences.”

Eren purses his lips:

“Was he in love with her?”

Levi clicks his tongue:

“She thinks so. He saw her more than once in a _boulangerie_ where she worked during the day. It was close to the center of Paris. And she saw him. At that time he was 28 and at the beginning of his political career. He was a nobody – hence the courage to come to a common brothel. Or maybe he suddenly was hit by a hero complex. Who knows?” Levi says bitterly.

“What happened after?” Eren inquires and Levi takes a breath in again.

“Well, she slept with her in the end…more than once. He was gentle and careful and mum was starting to fall in love with him too. She found out she was pregnant with me three months after they started…well, dating or whatever that was. However, he freaked out when he found out. And mum was scared of her boss – kids were not allowed in a brothel. He left her to deal with everything and disappeared for a while, until I turned one year old and mum had to take me to an orphanage. She couldn’t afford raising me. He came back in her life at that time and gave her the money she needed to live, so she could stop being a prostitute. But he didn’t want to hear about me or to recognize me as his son…

Mum accepted. I was sent to an orphanage in the suburbs of Paris. Mum would come and visit me once a week for half an hour. The rest of the days I was trying not to get beaten by the nurses.”

Eren flinches in anger, jaw clenching:

“They were beating you?”

Levi nods in disgust:

“You didn’t want to eat or to sleep or to keep quiet, you got beaten. I survived in there until I was 6. By that time I was a brat and got into trouble with other brats. Food from the orphanage was not enough, so we were going on raids and stealing things from supermarkets or corner stores. One day my stupid brain decided it was the time to steal from a _boulangerie_… it was a month after I tried the same thing and got beaten to blood by a police officer. This time I picked up a fancier looking shop…”

The nostalgic smile that appears on his face makes Eren confused, but Levi clears the air:

“It was Kenny’s shop. Coincidence or not the nephew decided to steal from his uncle shop. Mum haven’t seen Kenny in years and I didn’t even know he had a brother. When mum was 5, Kenny was 10. Grandfather took him when he left. He remarried and had Louise, Mikasa’s mum.”

Levi scratches his nape:

“I warn you, Kenny is not a saint. And it wasn’t at that time. He was a smuggler and a thief. A very good one, with friends all over the black French market and French mafia. The shop was opened just to cover other things. The moment he saw me he knew who I was. Someone told him my father asked for my mum. Kenny was at that time the eyes and ears of Paris’ night life and dirty secrets and I was looking too much as my mother and father. As I told you, he was a thief, but he was not a common one. He had connections in the police, covering dirty secrets or revealing them. So, he decided that if he couldn’t have helped his sister, maybe he could help me.

He had no fucking idea what a brat I was, but he took me out of the orphanage and into his house. Brought me teachers to learn at home and a piano teacher when I demanded one.

It was difficult at first – I hated him and I hated the world and I hated my mum for leaving me to deal with life alone. I broke a few things in his house and ran away a few times, but for some reason I was always coming back. One day my tantrum shattered Kenny’s patience. I remember how he inhaled, exhaled and suddenly showed how tired he was of life. He asked me what I wanted to calm the fuck down. I told him he could never give me what I wanted and he said he could try and love me. I hated him even more for saying that, but instead I got cocky and asked him to save my friends from the orphanage too.

Isabel and Farlan” Levi concludes.

“By the time I turned 14 I understood the only father figure I’ll ever meet is Kenny. He decided to move to America to take me out of France and his unorthodox life. He was afraid for me and my future and my passion for music made him think I might actually become someone…but if I was becoming someone, what about father? In the years I grew up his career grew up too. He was close to influential people in the French politics and Kenny was afraid a scandal might put my life in danger. He knew what power is and what you do with it. We left for US when I turned 14. Isabel and Farlan found adoptive families in US too. One year later Nicolas Sarkozy was becoming the president of France, supported by many people, including my father…..”

Eren gasps as a child that listens to a story with pirates and adventures.

Levi bits the inside of his jaw:

“So Kenny was right, it was better if father didn’t know who I was and if I was still alive. Or who Kenny was…we came here and you know the story…”

“What about you mum?” Eren asks timidly.

“She let Kenny take care of me and left the brothel as I said. When Kenny left Paris the _boulangerie _became hers, covered by the idea of a family business and stuff. She still has it there and well, she is a business woman now….”.

“And this house?” Eren asks again, looking around.

“Present from my father to my mum for her 30th birthday.”

Eren looks dumbfounded:

“Uhm…are they still…?”

“I don’t know and I don’t want to know. I visit her rarely and we don’t talk about him. Or them as whatever they are….” After a break Levi adds morose “he has a wife, you know..and a daughter who is a well known model…and I have a step sister. What a beautiful family, isn’t it?”

Eren snorts at his sarcasm and then frowns in thoughts. Levi knows what he’s thinking of, what he’ll ask. It takes only two minutes to do as he expects:

“Levi, who is your father?”

Levi smiles at him and teases:

“You don’t know any French politicians with model daughters, brat?”

Eren takes a bit of foam and throws it to Levi:

“Don’t tease me, Elliott” he folds his arms and mumbles “ and no, of course I don’t.”

“Oh, Gabriel” Levi teases back with the names thing and Eren grins, then:

“So, will you tell me?”

Levi fixes him, smile gone and stomach clenching at the idea of saying that name out loud. But Eren deserves the truth:

“Demetrius Yaxley Morriseau.”

Eren gasps, then voice an octave higher echoes in the bathroom:

“Your father is the Minister of Culture in France?!”

Levi smirks and mocks Eren:

“So you do know some French politicians.”

Eren’s mouth hangs open for a while as he stares at Levi.

“I know him because of professor Shadis. He went to France recently.”

“You’re shocked about my father’s actual position, but not about prostitutes and orphanages?”

Eren frowns:

“You weren’t shocked about abuse and alcoholics and depressive mothers. Why would I be about your story?”

Levi swallows:

“So you’re not, disgusted or ashamed?”

“What for?” Eren asks and then he comes closer to Levi, now cold hands cupping his face:

“Levi, you _saved me_. Helped me and listened to me and fought for me. And you worked so much for what you have now. You taught me that parents don’t make us who we are. That we are not our parents’ mistakes.”

Levi suddenly pulls him in and kisses the hell out of this boy that is everything to him and that _still wants him_ with his dark past and stupid absent father and crazy uncle. By the time they have finished, Eren lays on his back on the bed, chest moving up and down by hurried breaths as Levi emerges from between his legs with a wicked smile, licking his lips.

Outside August rain has stopped.

***

When the last few days of their getaway emerge Eren realizes how many things have changed between them, how free he feels now, how easy is to live with Levi. In two days they’ll have to go back to Marley and make more important decisions and Eren gets a bit anxious. Only a bit.

Levi sits on his belly on the blanket near him, hair slightly curled and all over the place. He seems completely immersed in his book, ignoring a little crab that tries to climb the slipper Levi put on the corner of the blanket, not to be taken away by the wind. Eren smiles to himself and watches the ocean knowing how much he’ll miss this view this time next week. The sun slips slowly to the other side of the sky – sunset will be close. Eren rests his chin on his knees and thinks at all the moments they shared here: kisses, touches, stupid jokes, meals, baths in the tub and swims in the ocean, tears and laughs, long walks, sunsets and sunrises. Somehow this trip will forever be carved in his mind, along with the salty smell of the ocean and the rhythmic back and forth of the waves.

Two weeks came to feel like two years. They shared so many things, except…_one. _One that, Eren came to _want_. He wants Levi and for some reason is surprising even for him, because he wanted Levi from the beginning, but never like _that. _And he is quite sure even if Levi wants that too, he’ll never ask Eren. What he said, months ago, that Eren will decide when that happens, it´s true. Eren knows Levi would rather die than ask him if he is ready to go all the way.

_Screw his self-control_ Eren thinks mockingly. Just last night Levi’s eyes were so full with desire that Eren was ready to _beg_ him to go all the way, but the bastard regained his composure in two seconds and proceeded to take Eren’s member in his mouth, making him finish with a sob far too soon.

The boy side glances at Levi, who is still mesmerized by his book, although the sun is almost gone and he won’t be able to read anymore. Eren runs a finger over the soft skin of Levi’s spine and the pianist shivers and closes the book:

“Hmmm, that feels good, brat” he says getting then to his knees and kissing Eren with salty lips.

“So, what’s in for dinner?” Eren asks gingerly and Levi gives him a “spoiled brat” look that softens as he answers:

“Creamy shrimp pasta and wine”.

Eren grins:

“Perfect”.

They head to the house and eat and then take turns to the shower, Eren insisting to go after Levi, because by this time he already made up his mind.

He washes himself carefully, letting the warm water in the tub relax his muscles and his mind. He’s nervous. Not scared, not anxious, just nervous.

When he gets out of the tub and dries himself, he ponders if he should put on some clothes, but then decides not to. Instead, he takes a silk robe that Levi bought for him in Newquay and gets out of the bathroom.

Levi is on the bed, head resting against the bedpost as he scrolls on his phone. When Eren comes out his slate grey eyes scan him from head to toe and something like hunger settles in them. Eren tries to calm his racing heart and goes straight to the bed, straddling Levi and taking the phone from his hand. The pianist rises one inquisitive eyebrow, hands around Eren’s waist. He leans in and starts kissing Eren’s neck, fingers finding the cord that keeps the robe closed and pulling it. When it goes loose and the garment reveals Eren naked chest Levi stops in his tracks and gapes at Eren:

“Are you naked under this?”

Eren licks his lips and leans in to whisper in Levi’s ear – how the hell he has the fucking balls to do that, he doesn’t know:

“Yes.”

“Oh” Levi observes and then his eyes narrow and he stutters, confused, “w-why?”.

Eren licks a patch of skin below his ear and whispers, this time voice shaking a bit:

“Because I want to become yours tonight. Will you make me yours, Levi?” he asks, teal eyes boring into silver.

Levi scans his face carefully, searching for hesitance or thinking maybe he reads the situation all wrong. But then Eren lets the silky robe fall off his shoulders and Levi lets out a shaky breath:

“Are you sure? We can wait” he says gently.

“I don’t want to wait anymore” Eren retorts, taking Levi’s hand and putting it on his naked chest. He knows Levi can feel the frenzy his heart is in, but he just hopes he’ll take that as it is, nervousness, not fear.

Levi stares for a while at his hand on Eren’s chest, looking as nervous as Eren is and then he smiles, a smile full of love and adoration and kisses Eren’s temple as he whispers:

“Ok, but we’ll take it slow. And promise me if there is anything you don’t like you’ll tell me and we stop”.

“I promise” Eren smiles back and then, Levi’s lips are on his, burning and languid, touches falling sensually from his chest, around his hips, grasping the silk robe and throwing it on the floor. Then he flips them over in bed, breaking the kiss with Eren only to take his T-shirt and boxers off. When his body is over Eren’s, soft skin on soft skin, the boy thinks the anticipation of what is to come makes this new and different, even if they’ve been naked and together all week.

But somehow this time Levi is less guarded, moans of pleasure and soft gasps escaping his lips as they kiss and touch, as lips cover lips and hands roam on chests and shoulders and lean back muscles and hips.

He gets between Eren’s legs at a certain point and Eren doesn’t know for how long they’ve been kissing and touching because he was lost in a haze of pleasure and he was just _burning and burning_ under Levi’s ministrations. After he is prepared enough and his entrance is loose Levi maps his stomach with kisses, then his chest, then his lips are back on his and they kiss more, until Levi stops to scan his face, searching for any kind of hesitation.

“I’m ready” Eren answers to Levi’s questioning eyes and Levi nods and puts his condom on with shaky hands. And then there is this moment that Eren could only label as electric and gentle and full of meaning. Levi bores his eyes on him as he enters him with steady moves, stopping to allow Eren to adjust, then pushing a little more until he is all the way in.

He then stands there, kissing Eren temple and waiting patiently until the pain subsides and the boy tells him he is ready to move. After, Levi starts to go in and out, in and out, settling a rhythm that it’s just perfect, Eren realizes this is so different and new and intense and it makes him let out this little sounds and whimpers, that Levi mimics. And it goes like that for a while, a mix of touches and gasps and moans and Levi moving in him and then Eren feels as something builds in his stomach, pushing him to an edge he is afraid of.

As always Levi senses his hesitation and whispers in his ear, moves still keeping the rhythm, hitting _that spot right there:_

“Don’t hold back, love, I’m right here. Let go, I’ll be here.”

And Eren does just like that, letting the orgasm make him tremble and moan and dig his nails in Levi’s back and not long after, Levi lets out a long groan and Eren feels him pulsing and letting go too.

After the haze dissipates, they just let their connection linger a bit more, until Levi slips out of Eren as gently as he can and he rushes to the bathroom to bring something and clean them both. When they settle in for sleep, Levi’s arm is around Eren and they whisper to each other, in the same time “you are beautiful” and “I love you”.


	18. Mikrocosmos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend guys! :D  
Chapter 18 is heeereeee with more and more fluff between our dear boys. The song tagged are by BTS btw, it's one of the kpop bands I like and I just thought the words and melody suit Eren and Levi well :D  
Hope you like it.  
And because Christmas is near, I wish you "Merry Christmas!!". May you receive lots of gifts and thank you for the feedback ;) Write more if you'd like :D  
Have a nice week! ^_^

Morning comes to pull Levi out of his sleep and he simply smiles. The feeling inside his chest is so new that makes his insides fizz and his lips curve into a grin. He opens his eyes to find Eren curled on his side, arm thrown over Levi’s chest and legs tangled together in such a mess of limbs that he doesn’t know which belong to whom.

Eren sleeps with his nose buried in the crook of Levi’s neck, his slow breathes tickling Levi’s skin. He runs his fingers through his lover’s messy hair and the boy lets out a sigh of pleasure, followed by an intelligible mix between Levi’s name and “morning”. He opens his eyes, fingers flexing over Levi’s chest and the pianist remembers the first time he saw that aquamarine look, how unnatural it seemed to him, how mesmerized he was by Eren.

And now, when it feels like ages after their first encounter, Eren is in his arms, body with that soft warmth after sleep, muscles pliant and lips pink and plump.

Eren tangles his long limbs more around Levi’s body, like a cat claiming her space and starts peppering Levi’s neck with kisses. Levi manages to stretch his hand enough to reach one of Eren’s ass cheeks and pats it gingerly, the same way you pat a little kid when he did something right.

Eren giggles and moves from Levi’s side, throwing himself over Levi completely, arms folded over his chest to rest his chin and pin the older with his oceanic gaze.

“Hi” he says.

Levi finds the bumps of Eren’s spine and starts caressing them with his fingers as if he’d be playing the piano:

“Hi, love. Slept well?”

Eren nods with a smile:

“Yeah”.

Levi lets his fingers travel until he reaches the small of Eren’s back and massages it a bit, making Eren sigh and let out a moan of pleasure.

“Does it hurt much?” Levi asks, because he knows it might hurt a bit. He wonders if it felt for Eren as it felt for him: overwhelming and electric and intense, like it was not just about their bodies coming together, but their souls too.

Eren shakes his head:

“No, not much. Just a slight burn, but I’m fine.” Then he stops, side glancing as if he’s thinking if he should ask what he wants to ask or not. Levi waits, as always, because Eren needs to be more brave and trust him. After another minute the boy asks:

“Levi?”

“Mhm?”

“Last night….uhm…was it….good?”

Levi scans his face, pushes his hair from his forehead and answers:

“Last night was not just good, Eren. Last night was the best, ok?”

The hesitance on Eren’s face disappears, replaced by an affectionate smile, mixed with a bit of shyness.

“I had sex” he declares, grinning at Levi and Levi laughs and jokes:

“Yes, you had.”

“Can we have more?” Eren grins again and Levi pinches his ass and with a flicker of tease in his voice he asks:

“Yes, we can. Do you want now?”

Eren bits his lip and observes:

“Actually, I’m hungry now.”

Levi smiles at his innocence and squeezes his ass:

“Let’s have breakfast, then.”

He wants to move, but Eren tilts his head and gives him a serious look:

“How come you… I mean you don’t push me into anything?”

Levi frowns and remembers Eren’s face when they had that long discussion after the incident with Jean. How surprised Eren looked back then, as if what Levi said about sex and decision and patience was something new and strange for him.

“I don’t push you because to me sex it’s something that it’s done with consent. It’s the only thing that I learned from my mother’s life. And from my youth. You can’t push your partner to do things he doesn’t want. Sex it’s a two way thing, not one way. I feel good when you feel good and when you want to be with me in that way, when you _want_ me, when you _desire _ me. If you don’t, then what kind of partner am I if I force you to want me?” Levi says, eyes on Eren’s face.

“I don’t think many people see things like you” Eren observes.

Levi shrugs:

“I don’t fucking care about what kind of shit people with zero respect for others think. And don’t think I don’t have the drive or the need to have sex. I have it, I had it with you, maybe earlier than I was supposed to have.”

Eren’s eyebrows rise in wonder:

“Really?”

Levi frowns:

“What the hell, Eren?! You’re beautiful and I was salivating over you. I still am” and Eren smiles at that as Levi keeps going:

“But wanting you and you wanting me back it’s not the same thing. It has to be consensual to make sense to me” he explains “ and you need to trust me as I need to trust you. It’s not something I’m playing with. And if you want to try things you need to talk to me, ok? Remember when I said I want to be your best friend, not just your lover?”

Eren nods and hugs Levi:

“You are my best friend, Levi. You are my hero” he adds at the end, voice shaking with emotion and Levi hugs him back.

Then, they untangle from each other, put robes on and move to the kitchen, where Levi makes pancakes and Eren the tea. Their last full day in Cornwall is grey, with a bit of wind, but fortunately no rain.

Levi likes it. He takes the breakfast to the living room and puts it on the small coffee table, moving then towards the piano under Eren’s inquisitive eyes. When he figures that Levi wants to play for him again, a blinding smile curves his lips and shows his pearly teeth and he sits gingerly near Levi, waiting.

Before starting, Levi runs to the bedroom to bring his phone, realizing that the urge he feels is one of his frenzies and it’s because these days with Eren were surreal and full of happiness. The boy watches him with curiosity when he starts recording but the look he gives Levi shows he figured out what’s going on.

***

Eren watches as Levi closes his eyes, keeps them like that for a moment, and then when his fingers touch the keys is like a force of nature has been let loose the same way the wind starts to roar before a storm. But despite the torment, the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-h2CViLrAI) that Levi plays is sweet and full of happiness and joy. His fingers jump on the keys and then he looks at Eren and smiles, a wide smile that, Eren realizes, makes Levi look like a happy kid in the Christmas day.

They start to swing together on the rhythm that Levi creates and Eren thinks the song is like an infusion of every moment they spent together in Cornwall. It’s full of meaning and the words they exchanged, it’s full of _them_ as they are together.

When the song slowly dies and Levi’s fingers stop, Eren hears his voice crystal clear in the silence of the cottage:

“Mikrocosmos”.

“Mikrocosmos?” Eren repeats, confused.

Levi turns to him, silver eyes so powerful that Eren thinks he’s going to shatter under their gaze:

“Your eyes” Levi explains “are like a mikrocosmos to me. Like I can’t fully comprehend them. It was like that from the first time I saw you. I couldn’t get used to the idea that someone can have eyes like yours.”

“Chromium” Eren retorts, suppressing a laugh when Levi throws him a weird look. He smiles and clarifies “the shade of your eyes. When I painted you I struggled to find it. Sometimes the mix would be too silver or bordering on blue too much. And then, when I finally found it a teacher at school that finds names for colors told me the shade is called <<Chromium>>.”

Levi nods and fixes Eren with a look that the boy saw in this last week in his eyes, a look that makes him feel shy:

“Don’t look at me like that” he scolds Levi.

“Like what?” Levi inquires, although he seems to know how he looks at Eren.

“Like..like you love me, but a hundred times stronger. Like if this would be the last second of your existence you’d spend it looking at me.”

There is something in his words, Eren thinks, that twists something in Levi as if he felt what Eren said, but didn’t know how to call it, because he jumps on Eren, attacking his lips with heated kisses that soon turn into scorching hot touches, until Eren straddles Levi, long legs wrapped around his firm waist. He feels how Levi gets up and carries him to the sofa, sitting down, with the boy still in his lap.

The robes are opened and discarded on the floor and Eren starts rolling his hips to make their erections touch while Levi’s hands push him more into his body. It’s a frenzy at first, Eren lost again like last night, but then Levi stops kissing his lips, moving to lick his neck and collarbone and the burning lowers to a simmer that allows him to go slow, to touch and feel Levi. And it turns up to be a pretty interesting experience, because Eren now notices that Levi lets out this gasps and little moans, every time he moves his hips or when he nips that certain spot on Levi’s neck.

When Eren feels like he can’t take it anymore and wants to wrap his hand around their members Levi stops him with a strained “no”.

“No?” Eren asks and raises his eyebrows when Levi removes him from his lap and gives him a heated look as he says:

“Take me. I want to be yours too”.

In a second Eren feels his cheeks burning, but then the lust in Levi’s now black eyes – the silver is just a thin, fragile line – gives him a sort of confidence he never felt before.

“Turn around” he tells his lover and can’t believe he is the one who said that. Levi complies and turns, knees spread apart and fingers grasping the back of the couch:

“There are condoms and lube under the couch” he whispers to Eren making him think that definitely this isn’t the most erotic view and thing to hear, but it is for him. He fishes the items from under the sofa and turns back to Levi, getting behind him and kissing his nape, as his fingers travel down his spine and between his cheeks only to explore, to touch around his hole. He opens then the lube, covers his fingers in a thin layer and goes back to touch Levi, nipping his shoulder and letting his thumb circle Levi’s entrance. He lets out a strangled moan and pushes into Eren’s finger and he has no chance then to let it slip in, then out, eyes pinned on what he is doing, on the way his finger disappears inside Levi, then come back out.

It’s scorching hot again and he feels beads of sweat gather on his temple, sees them going down Levi’s spine. He licks the skin between Levi’s neck and shoulder and tastes salt as another finger breaches Levi and he hisses a hazed “Yessss”, moving faster against Eren fingers, knuckles white and clasped on the back of the couch.

Eren feels his erection hard as a stone and he suddenly wonders if he’ll be able to stop himself from coming. He slips his fingers out of Levi, the other hand grasping his hip:

“Do you need another one?” he asks Levi and he turns his head a bit, grabbing Eren’s nape and kissing him sloppily. He looks debouched, like Eren never saw him before and he answers with a shaky voice:

“No, I’m fine.”

Eren’s hands are shaking by now, but he doesn’t want to hurt Levi and Levi sees his hesitance. He slightly bits his lower lip, sucks it and then moans seductively:

“Fuck me, Eren.”

And Eren groans:

“_God, _Levi.”

He takes the condom with trembling hands and barely puts it on, then he is behind Levi, one hand on his hip, the other guiding his member to his entrance. Levi is breathing heavily now in anticipation, head on his folded arms on the back of the couch. When Eren breaches him his head falls back on Eren’s shoulder, eyes shut and lips parted. Eren stops, goes back and then pushes in, letting Levi adjust to him, just like he did for Eren the previous night.

The moment he is all the way in he stops in his tracks and thinks how the _fucking hell_ Levi could keep his self-control when inside is hot and slick and all Eren wants is to push back and in and back again. But he does want this to be good for Levi, so he just waits there, muscles tense and fingers clasping Levi’s hips on both sides.

Levi is the one who moves first, grasping the back of the couch and moving away from Eren, then against him, making him groan and moan and watch as his member goes in Levi, then out, tip swollen by pleasure.

Eren takes the hint and follows the pace settled by Levi and soon the room is filled only with moans and whispered “yeses” and sometimes by the clash of heated lips over lips.

At a certain point Eren reaches for Levi’s member and strokes him in the rhythm of their moves and it takes a few more touches to have the older over the edge, head falling on Eren’s shoulder and eyes shut, mouth opened and letting out curses and then a long, sexy moan.

Levi’s muscles pulse around Eren’s member and he feels again like last night, like he’s ready to fall over a cliff and afraid to. He lets the sensation takes over him and empties inside Levi, supporting his weight against him.

They breathe heavily for a while, then Eren slips out, kisses Levi temple and walks to the bathroom to bring back a towel for cleaning. Levi waits for him spread on the sofa, eyes hazy and full of a languid after-sex look as he watches how Eren approaches and cleans him.

“You’re going to be the death for me, brat” he concludes and Eren laughs, because he just had the same thought about Levi.

***

An hour later they are on the beach on their favorite spot, enjoy the sound of waves and the wind that ruffles their hair.

Levi looks at Eren’s profile: he has his knees pulled up to his chest, chin resting on them, lips pink in the light of the day and eyes holding in them all the shades than could never be called blue or green, but in between.

He looks pensive, fixing the back and forth of the waves and the seagulls that fly around and he _is beautiful_, so beautiful, Levi thinks.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks as Eren turns his orbs on him, frowning.

“About Marley…I don’t know if I want to go back” the boy answers, the frown turning into a concerned look.

“You’re anxious about something?” Levi inquires, caressing Eren’s cheek with his cold fingers.

Eren’s shoulders slump and he hides his gaze from Levi, turning back to fix the ocean.

“I…I don’t want to go back to Shiganshina” he confesses in a fragile voice, almost covered by the wind and the hum of waves.

Levi frowns:

“Eren, of course you’re not going back to Shiganshina. I…I thought you want to move in with me…” Levi adds, not sure if he read the situation well after Eren came back from the hospital and after the trial.

Eren looks dumbfounded:

“You want me to move in with you?”

Levi stares at him, then lets out a laugh:

“Of course I want you to move in with me, Eren.”

Eren scans Levi’s face and says:

“I don’t want to invade you’re life, Levi. You did already so much for me and-“

“And I want to do even more for you, Eren” Levi cuts him.

Eren clasps his lips shut and scans Levi a bit more and then, as if he’d found his resolve he leans in and kisses Levi, asking then sheepishly:

“Levi Elliott Ackerman, will you let me move in with you?”

Levi chuckles and tangles his fingers in Eren’s hair, pulling him closer and kissing him back:

“Yes, Eren Gabriel Jaeger. You’re allowed to move in with me and take all the colors you have with you.”

Eren smiles, his lips still touching Levi’s:

“My colors? Like my painting supplies?”

“Yeah, those, and the colors of your eyes and the colors of your heart and everything else you want to share with me” Levi says, swallowing the lump in his chest and capturing Eren’s lips again. He feels Eren shuddering and then sees tears falling down his cheeks. He wipes them with his thumbs and gives Eren concerned looks, but Eren inhales and then smiles:

“I think we crossed the sea of our fears”.

Levi pulls him in a hug, Eren’s hands immediately wrapping around his waist:

“Yes, brat, I think we have.”

They spend the rest of the day on the beach, going inside only for lunch, them coming out again, walking on the beach from one end to another and even taking a bath in the cold water. When the sun is gone they enter the cottage, skin salty and full of sand due to the ocean breeze. They pack, have dinner and take a late bath in the tub filled with sweet scented foam.

Back in the bed, they make love again, slow and languid, Levi buried deep inside Eren, his long legs wrapped around Levi’s waist, pulling him _closer, _searching for _more, _until Levi thinks that that story with soul mates and people being one must be true, because he feels Eren’s heartbeat as if it’d be his.

Leaving the cottage it’s kinda sad for both of them – their little universe remains behind, along with all the smell of the ocean, the salty scent that lingered on their skin and the nights wrapped one around the other. But then, just when Levi was ready to frown and feel miserable, Eren took his hand in the plane and squeezed it, adding with a soft smile:

“Cornwall will be our mikrocosmos from now on. We can go there anytime, isn’t it?”

_Trust Eren to make any dark cloud in your life go away_ Levi thought, kissing his wrist.

“Yes, we can go back anytime you want, love.”

“For Christmas?” Eren asked hopeful.

Levi nodded and nuzzled Eren’s cheek with his nose:

“Christmas will be, love.”

Hanji waits for them at the airport with a pink placard that has “Croquant”’s logo in a corner and says “_WAITING FOR GRUMPY MIDGET AND HIS PERSONAL PRIVATE BARISTA_”.

Eren bursts into laugh seeing that, while Levi narrows his eyes and hisses at Hanji:

“Fucking Shitty Glasses, I swear I’ll shove that thing in your ass!”

“Oh, Levi, I missed you too” Hanji retorts, winking at Eren and then pulling him in a bear hug that makes the air in his lungs go out in a second.

Levi gives her a middle finger, but then with a smirk squeezes Hanji’s forearm, saying:

“Glad to see you”.

“Aww, don’t mention it, Peanut. So, how was it?” Hanji asks as they head to Levi’s car and out of the buzz of the airport.

“It was great” Eren says with that blinding smile of his and Levi takes his hand and turn it around to kiss his wrist, Hanji’s attentive eyes following the gesture behind her glasses.

Eren smiles at Levi and kisses his cheek briefly, while Hanji still looks like she sees them for the first time touching like that.

“Are you ok, Hanji?” Eren asks her with inquisitive eyes.

Hanji clears her throat:

“Yeah, it’s just you two – I’m glad you look happy, Eren. I know it was not our business, but we were worried about you. I’m glad you’re fine.”

As they get into the car, Levi exchanges a look with Eren and Eren smiles, answering Hanji after she sits in the back:

“Well, I feel better. It’s the Levi effect” he adds with a chuckle and Hanji snorts.

Levi drives Hanji home, then they go back to his apartment. The moment they enter Eren throws his Converses away, then starts disposing his clothes in a trail that goes from the entrance to the bathroom.

“I neeeed a shower” he sing-songs, taking off his boxers, then turning to give Levi a sexy-half-demanding look:

“Are you joining me?” he asks, dark eyelashes a flutter.

“I’ve created a monster” Levi observes, starting to unbuckle his belt, as the sound of Eren’s laughter echoes between the tiles of the bathroom. When he enters Eren already turned the shower on and settled the temperature. He’s under the stream of water, naked torso wet and tanned in a honey shade, hair pushed back and eyes lingering over Levi’s body as he joins him.

He wraps his hands around Levi’s waist, pulling him until their bodies touch and proceeds to kiss the hell out of Levi, making his mind go blank. The shower takes longer than it’s supposed to – they wash each other’s hair and bodies, letting the touches linger a bit longer, the lips to caresses patches of wet, warm skin. It’s just that, nothing more and it’s enough, Levi thinks.

When he falls asleep that night, with Eren in his arms, his skin smelling sweet and inviting, he thinks that when you cross the sea of your fears, on the other side of the shore you find happiness – _pure, raw, unfiltered happiness._


	19. May the bridges I burn light the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
Hope you had a great Christmas! :D I can't believe by this time next week it'll be 2020. Jesus...  
Anyways, uhm thank you for your support, mutual (as in kudos and bookmarks) or not (comments). We have another warm and happy chapter this week. It's also a heart to heart discussion between Eren and Kenny.  
Enjoy and have a great and Happy New Year!  
We have one more chapter and we say goodbye to these guys :(((

Eren looks around the room – what used to be Levi’s guest bedroom is now _his space_, like Levi said – basically a room filled with his painting supplies, canvases and, on a wall – rows and rows of shelves for his books.

He just finishes painting the other wall, the final result an almost 100% accurate representation of the grey sky of Cornwall and the deep blue of the ocean.

Eren tilts his head and inhales, the poignant smell of chemicals invading his lungs. Levi enters with two lemonade glasses in his hands, giving one to Eren and turning his attention to his boyfriend’s work:

“Brilliant” he observes, leaning in and kissing Eren’s temple.

Eren smiles back and puts the lemonade glass on the floor:

“Now this only needs to dry and we’re done.”

“Can’t believe you finished this in one week” Levi says, tilting his head as his silver eyes scan the painting, mesmerized.

“Can’t believe you changed your life for me” Eren retorts pensively, making Levi turn completely to him with a scolding look:

“Eren” he growls warningly and Eren gives him a sheepish smile – since they came back from UK it’s been three weeks. September left August behind, but not his heat – Marley it’s still too warm, people are still wearing shorts and tank tops and the smell of sun screens lingers in the air.

The next day after they came back from Cornwall, Levi took Eren to Shiganshina and made him pack all his stuff. In three days Eren left forever the small studio with his smudged glitter and tiny bathroom and the smell of old and stood on the right seat near Levi, as the pianist drove both of them to a new life.

For a second Eren got scared and thought maybe it was too soon to move in with Levi without a plan B, without an escape route in case Levi would change his mind one day. But then, Levi’s long fingers wrapped around his as he was still keeping his eyes on the road, warmth spreading from his hand in his heart and for some reason, it was enough to make Eren realize everything is going to be fine. This was Levi, _his Levi_, that was near him any time he needed with a comforting look or a kiss on the temple or a gentle squeeze of hand. But, other times Levi was there as a soldier ready to kill, more fearful, just like he had been against Jean or against Grisha and Eren thought how safe and protected he felt. Levi was a concoction of two opposite sides – a soft and gentle one that would spoil Eren and make love to him slow and languid until his brain would stop functioning and another one, that would break jaws and make people think before act.

And that was perfect, really, because Eren always thought no one will stand up for him, ever and then this man came in and proved him otherwise.

“Hey, where have you gone?” Levi murmurs in his ear and Eren blinks, realizing how lost in thought he was.

“Just..uhm..away.”

“Well” Levi says, wrapping his arms around Eren’s waist and kissing his neck “come back to me. I’m lonely” he adds, kisses turning into kitten licks on Eren’s collarbone.

“Noooo, I’m sweaty, Levi” Eren whines and Levi gives him a long lick on the collarbone, grinning:

“That’s even better”.

“Kinky” Eren snorts and they start grinning even more.

“We’re idiots together” Levi declares and Eren nods enthusiastically.

He scratches his nape and realizes how dirty his hair is there. Levi observes his concerned look and makes him turn, groaning.

“Brat, half of the paint container is in your hair”.

“Shit” Eren curses “tomorrow is the exhibition opening.”

Levi takes between his fingers a strand of hair and tugs a bit:

“At least, you’ll be authentic” he jokes and Eren turns and shoves him on a side.

Real or not, Shadis kept his word and all the paintings that Eren made with Levi became part of a special gallery at “Millennials 2.19 Exhibition” in no other place than “Marley’s Museum of Modern Art”. Tomorrow, with a month delay, Eren will stand at the opening of his own gallery. Which is obviously _fucking unbelievable_. And then, as if this wouldn’t be enough, in two weeks he’ll have the chance to see Levi in a concert, in fucking Seoul.

_Trust life to laugh at you and it will_ Eren thinks.

***

Eren is beyond agitated, scanning his reflection in the mirror, checking the way the white button up short sleeves shirt falls on his shoulder. He’s turning for the tenth time and checks his back, the way the deep teal slacks curve on his bum. He smooths the material again and again and jumps when he sees Levi near the door, arms folded and giving him a questioning look:

“I’m exaggerating, isn’t it?” Eren asks, voice small and quivering.

Levi gets closer to him:

“You know it’s going to be fine – this is something that only you can do, brat. It’s your work, your dream. It’s going to be perfect.”

Eren nods, but Levi knows he’s not fully convinced yet.

The door of the office opens and Keith Shadis comes in, bringing in the smell of coffee:

“Jaeger, are you ready?” he barks and Levi can’t help but stare at his round, shiny baldness.

“No?” Eren answers and Shadis throws one of those “teacher” looks, grabs Eren by the elbow and spits as he pushes him through the door:

“Jaeger, I always knew you are not the bravest man ever, but I hoped you’re not stupid. Move your ass, people are waiting.”

Levi follows them quietly, not surprised at all that the Art teacher ignored him completely _again_, even if he is the fucking _muse_ of Eren’s gallery. When they first met Shadis threw him a look and pointed:

“So, you’re the man the kid is infatuated with.”

Levi narrowed his eyes and argued:

“I am pretty sure infatuation wouldn’t have made him paint like that.”

Shadis stared at him for a while, poker faced, not showing that he was surprised by Levi’s words or the fact that he basically told him indirectly to _kindly fuck off because he knows 0 shits about what Eren feels for him._

“Just make sure he stays focused” Shadis concluded and that was that. He politely ignored Levi since then.

The foyer is full of people, some of them known faces, some not. Shadis says a few words and calls Eren in front of the crowd and the boy gets there with hesitant steps. Behind him stands the largest of the paintings, the one with the sea.

Eren looks around, smiles at his mother that is at the front along with Kenny, Hanji, Isabel, Farlan, Armin, Annie, Mikasa, Ymir and Krista, Reiner, Bert, mister Pixis, Marco and _fucking Jean, _ then turns and looks at Levi. He hides his hands in the pockets of his slacks, almost like a defensive gesture, inhales and speaks:

“On the other side of the sea of our fears there is hope and a future. We just have to cross that sea – these are the words I found to describe this series of works. I don’t know if these are the right words, but it is what I felt when I painted them” Eren adds with a shrug.

“The person who inspired me is here today, which makes things pretty personal. These works are pretty personal for me, but I don’t want you to think that if you see them you’ll stare at something intimate. Beside all, I want you to look at these paintings and see them as an allocution about fear and insecurity. Because, ultimately, this is what they are.”

He stops and despite his previous emotions, looks every person from the public in the eye and keeps going:

“I struggled my entire life with fears. Different kind of fears. Some of them, I created myself, sabotaging my own path in life. Some of them were created by others. In the end, there were so many, that I ceased to fight with them so I just let them overcome me. You can pretty much say I drowned in the water…”

Eren turns again and looks at Levi, teal eyes so full of so many emotions that Levi’s breath hitches in his lungs as Eren starts to speak again:

“But then, one day, someone stood up for me. Straight powerful lines of resistance – if I’d have to describe this person graphically, this is what I’d think of. Lines of resistance against my fears. When I lost this person who stood up for me and I was left alone again, the absence of this person was more painful than my fears and that was the moment when I realized something.”

Eren frowns and scratches his nape – there are still blue strands there, Levi knows.

“I know you want me to come here and tell you something completely, fully, optimistic, but I don’t want to do that. I want you to understand that, even if these paintings are the result of me standing against my fears, the fight is not easy.

And what I want to tell you is that fears _are _a part of us. They don’t define who we are, but they are strong enough to limit or influence our choices. They make us hurt and cry and lose. They bend us to the ground.”

Levi looks around the room – Eren fascinated the crowd with his words – they have their eyes glued on him, like he erases all their thoughts making them focus only on him.

“I was on the ground and I’ll tell you – the floor is cold and you think you’ve reached the edge of your misery. And sometimes you want to die, but…but” Eren whispers closing his eyes and swallowing in an attempt to gather his thoughts:

“But if you still feel the acrid taste of your own misery, if there is still a second in which you have the time to think you’ve reached the full volume of misery in your life, then, my friend, this mean you are not _broken yet._ And if you are not there yet, then, somehow, in a twisted, mad way, I’ve come to believe that’s the first sign you’ve been able to _float_ on the waves of the sea of your fears and…one day, _you’ll be able to fully cross it_.

Thank you.”

He finishes, tears falling on his cheeks and the crowd stands there in silence, until Kenny’s voice booms in the gallery:

“Great job, kid” and he starts applauding and the rest of the people follow, the previous silence erased now by the echo of people’s enthusiasm for Eren.

Levi lets him hug their friends and talk to the galley curator and the museum manager and goes to Eren only when the crowd has dissipated a bit.

Eren stares at wall where the biggest painting is, the one he named “_the Resistance” _and shivers when Levi wraps his arm around his waist and whispers quietly, so just the two of them can hear:

“I’m so proud of you, Eren.”

***

Eren scrolls through his phone looking at the numerous pictures he took today, waves of giddiness settling in his stomach, as the faces of the precious people in his life smile at him from the screen. It was a long day, but he loved it completely and irrevocably, just as he loves Levi. It was a day that, poetically or not, proved him that dreams can become reality and that sometimes chances come to you when you expect less.

He notices a silhouette coming in the foyer, but it the corner of his eye it looks just like Levi. When he turns he realizes it’s not Levi, but someone who is taller, has the same piercing eyes, just bluer than Levi’s and the same jet black hair, but with white strands gathered at the temples. Before he even has the time to fully comprehend the situation, the name he heard just a few weeks ago escapes his lips:

“Demetrius”.

And indeed, Demetrius Yaxley Morriseau, Levi’s _fucking father, _stands in the middle of an empty foyer in Marley as Eren waits for Levi to come back from Shiganshina, where he went to take Pixis and his mother.

“You know who I am” Demetrius says, his voice deeper than Levi’s, but hiding the same sharp undertone.

Eren frowns and answers:

“Yeah, I know who you are, but what are you doing here?” he asks, wondering how or better said from where the sudden anger at his stranger’s presence comes from. _Or_ how the hell he has the courage to be rather impolite to the _fucking French Minister of Culture_.

“I was simply curious” he answers and Eren notices for the first time the strong French accent.

“Curiosity brought you all the way from France?” Eren attacks and Demetrius’ eyes flare.

“Kutchel told me Levi is the bitter one between you two”.

Eren folds his arms: suddenly he wants to stand up for Levi for whatever reason. This man _shouldn’t be here_, but somehow he is, like he claimed some sort of right that did not belong to him.

“_If _Levi is bitter, he has all the reasons to be.”

Levi’s father stares at Eren, measuring him from head to toe. He wears an expensive black suit and the edge of his jaw makes him look even more dignified. Wrinkles around his eyes and mouth are the only proof that he is old, otherwise the lean body and the muscles of his biceps show he definitely lives a life of luxe.

“I didn’t come here to argue.”

Eren tilts his head:

“Then again, why are you here? After all this time? And you came to me? Clearly you know who I am, but _why?_”

Demetrius stays in silence, scanning the room his eyes fix the wall where Levi is turned with his back at the sea. _Does he recognize his son_? Eren wonders.

“I came to talk to you because I can’t talk to him.”

“Wrong choice” Eren spits bitterly.

“The least difficult choice I would say.”

“Because you are a coward?” Eren pushes, blood already boiling. It’s the first time he feels like this, like he has something to defend and he wants to. If this man came here to ruin a beautiful day, Eren won’t let him.

Demetrius lets out a half amused, half bitter laugh and retorts:

“_Mon Dieu_, you won’t make this easy, do you?”

Eren narrows his eyes:

“Not when you barge into his life like this. No, I won’t. I know you have the power to find out who he is, who I am and most probably what we’ve been through up until now. And frankly? I don’t care what you know and what you don’t, but I am interested in the _reason. _ Why now?”

Demetrius looks like he’s pondering the answer:

“He’ll soon start a new life, I know that. A new life _with you_ if I got my information well. There is no place for me in that life. So I just wanted to tell you to take care of him.”

“Suddenly after 27 years you’re interested in his well being?” Eren inquires mockingly.

“In the last 27 years I’ve always been interested in his well being” Demetrius points bitterly and Eren snarls:

“Oh, come on. Who the hell do you think you’re fooling? _You cared?_ How the hell did you care? Like my father _cared_ when he was beating the crap out of me??”

Demetrius jaw clenches in a tense angle as Eren keeps going:

“You guys _failed_ as fathers and you come now with this pained face and sculpted fatherly speech and you tell me _we_ got the things all wrong? We didn’t understand? But when _are you_ going to understand that once you fucked up from the beginning, it’ll stayed fucked up until the end??

You didn’t care about him, you wasn’t there for him. He made a life of his own and now, _years_ after, you come to his boyfriend to tell what? To do what? Mend a mistake by making me feel bad for you? Poor father who didn’t give a shit about his son wants to pay the years of indifference in empty words” Eren snarls again, voice heavy and poisonous.

Demetrius flinches at the end as if he has been punched in the gut and this only encourages Eren to add more painful truths:

“Where were you when he was in the orphanage? Where were you when he had his first concert? Where were you when that fucking maniac tried to rape him?? You had power, come on! You could’ve done something, but you didn’t. Because if you did, people would’ve found out that you have a _bastard son. _ You cared more about your image in 27 years. The care for Levi was the _least_ important problem in your life” Eren concludes in a cold tone and glares at Demetrius.

He stands there, all dignified, posture flawless showing the years in the constant spotlight, but somehow Eren sees through that. This man is _a failure_, just like Grisha. A man who prioritized the things in his life all wrong.

“You can’t mend this” Eren says “you’ll never be able to make Levi forgive you. As for me, I am honoured that the French Minister of Culture came to see my paintings, but I am disgusted that a man who gave 0 fucks about Levi talked to me.”

Suddenly Demetrius pales and Eren hears Levi footsteps behind them. He turns and surprisingly, Levi doesn’t look livid, as if he has been standing there for some time now. But Demetrius does, because as far as Eren knows, this is the first time he sees Levi in person. Levi comes near Eren, silver eyes sharp on his father. The similarities are striking if you look from one to another – same hair, same silhouette. The only difference is in the height and the eyes – Levi’s are expressive and powerful while Demetrius’ are just _blue._

When Levi speaks his voice is deathly cold:

“Mum called and tried to talk me through this, presenting reasons why I should accept whatever this shit you’re doing is” he pauses and Eren thinks he might jump and strangle Demetrius, but he stands near him and keeps going:

“You have exactly five minutes to get out of my life on the same door you came in. I have nothing to say to you.”

“Mais, j’ai des choses que je veux te dire”[1] Demetrius retorts and Eren curses his inability to understand French.

Levi’s jaw clenches and Eren expects him to answer in French, but he speaks in English:

“You lost your right to speak to me a long fucking time ago. Do you fucking understand?! Get the hell away from me and from my boyfriend!”

Demetrius frowns as his mask crumbles to pieces – he looks pained and Eren tries to make the pity go away. This man deserves nothing, not the slightest flinch of emotion.

“Be happy, Levi” Demetrius says dejected and moves his eyes from Levi to Eren:

“Thank you, Eren. And _felicitations_ for the e-gz-hibition.”

Eren grimaces and follows Demetrius’ silhouette as he exits the foyer. He takes Levi’s face in his hands and lock their eyes as he asks:

“Are you ok?”

“Are you?”

“Yes, I am.”

After a comforting kiss Levi observes:

“You were badass back there.”

Eren snorts:

“For how long have you been listening?”

“Long enough to fall in love with you all over again” Levi says as he kisses Eren deeper.

“Sap” Eren jokes as he hugs Levi tighter.

The road to their apartment is silent and Eren is afraid he might have upset Levi back there with what he said, with the way he argued about certain facts. Trying to clear the things he asks Levi:

“Did I say too much back there?”

Levi throws him a puzzled look as he drives back to their apartment in the crowded traffic of Friday night:

“Meaning?”

“What I said…about you and him and…well, basically everything…”

“ Eren, again, meaning? Do you think I’d scold you for standing up for me?”

Eren shrugs:

“If I’d stood up the wrong way…yeah?”

“Jesus, Eren” Levi observes.

They get to their apartment complex and Levi turns the engine off and locks eyes with the boy:

“What you said back there – I would never be able to say it better. Really, you were really badass, but I’m upset he was there. I don’t know what mother is doing, but I’ll talk to her.”

Eren nods, seeing the slightest disappointment in Levi’s eyes:

“Are you alright, though?” he asks.

Levi runs his pale fingers through his hair and sighs:

“I know I can talk to you, because between us two you’re probably the only one who can understand how it feels to have questionable feelings about your father. I…..I don’t know. It’s the first time I see the asshole….”

Eren nods again, catches Levi’s pale fingers and kisses them. Levi follows the movement with his piercing eyes:

“I…I look like him, isn’t it? He’s truly my father…”

Eren inhales and smiles:

“You’re more handsome than he is” then after shaking his head as if he wants to spread the stupid irrelevant thoughts “Levi, listen to me. You resemble your father as much as I resemble mine. We both know the answer to this. Why do we talk about this people? We don’t need them, we’ve come to this day without them. So, they’re not important.”

Levi stares at him and then he leans over the gear and kisses Eren with a desperation that is later found in bed, when Levi lets Eren take him with abandon, as if Eren making love to him could erase the disappointment Demetrius is as a father..or Kutchel as a mother if you think long enough.

The next morning when Eren wakes up he’s alone in bed. The apartment is quiet and a small note from Levi, written in elegant thin letters, tells him “I went to buy coffee and croissants. Be back in 20”.

Eren stretches his muscles with a grunt and rises in the middle of the bed and remembers, unwillingly, of Demetrius’ face when Levi basically told him to fuck off. It was the face of a man finally defeated by life.

_Well, it’s not like he doesn’t deserve it_ Eren thinks, when someone knocks at the door.

He dresses up in some shorts and a T-shirt and opens the door for no one other than Kenny Ackerman. Levi’s uncle stands in the threshold, signature hat on head and a wide grin on his thin lips:

“Hey, kid, where’s Levi?”

“Went to buy breakfast” Eren answers, letting Kenny in the apartment. He goes straight to the kitchen counter in his favorite spot and lights up a cigarette. Eren opens the window – the chill wind of September’s morning rushes in. However, Eren knows later it’s going to be freaking hot again.

Kenny observes him with inquisitive eyes and Eren asks:

“Something is wrong?”

Kenny smirks and takes his hat off, inhaling deeply from the cigarette:

“Levi told me about last night. Good job, kid. I thought for a long time you don’t have the balls to do something like that. Seems I was wrong about ya’.”

Eren frowns – this is probably the first time Kenny challenges him to talk openly about stuff he talked only with Levi up until now. Well, if he could tell Demetrius to fuck off, he can survive a serious discussion with Levi’s crazy uncle.

“I didn’t have the balls, but then Levi taught me to have.”

Kenny narrows his eyes:

“I don’t think it’s about Levi anymore, kid. I think it’s about you loving Levi.”

Eren fights the blush that threatens to come:

“Yeah….”

Kenny scrutinizes him again with his slate eyes and clears his throat:

“Let me tell you something” he begins, making sure he has Eren’s full attention “months ago I came into this very apartment after one of Levi’s creative breakdowns. He didn’t look well and I knew he spent the night playing that fucking piano. The song he wrote, that thing that now it’s called “Spring Day/King Reiss something” – I don’t know if you know, but that song was inspired by you.”

Eren knows, but when Levi told him he was shaken a bit.

“He was head over hills for you since that very moment and the only thing I thought was that you were a _problem_.”

Eren’s eyebrows rise in surprise and Kenny clarifies:

“You were, because Levi never lost focus, always diligent, always disciplined. Letting nothing slip since he was 20. And then, suddenly, he looked like he was a drug addict and just discovered a new shit to smoke.

And I was getting curious, you know? And I could see he was falling in love with you and I was happy for him, but suspicious about you.”

“Hope you’re not anymore” Eren observes and Kenny gives him a smirk.

“Not anymore, but I was for a long time. And then he lost his shit when your fucking father attacked you. I’ll tell you something, kid – Levi has darkness in him. It’s hidden somewhere in the depth of his soul, but it’s there nevertheless. Because Levi is a kid that suffered, a lot, maybe ten times more than others and I knew it from the moment I took him with me. Music helped him dilute that anger and darkness. I wouldn’t have spent money on his piano classes if it haven’t been effective.

But then, in that night when he was standing on the hallways waiting for a sign from the doctors about your state, knuckles bruised and eyes hollow, I saw in him that darkness again. It resurfaced from where it was hidden and I knew Levi probably beat the crap out of the guy. I was just hoping he didn’t kill him, because that would have been a lot of shit to deal with.”

Eren grimaces at Kenny’s morbid joke, but the man lets out a puff of smoke and grins wickedly:

“I’m not going to lie, I was scared a bit. Not because of him, _but for him._ He was again that brat that annoyed the shit out of me and ran away and broke all my vases and windows and glasses, back into my house in Paris. Just now, it was worse, because he was not a little boy anymore, he was a man in love with another one and he was ready to kill for you. And I’m pretty sure that, if something disastrous like you dying have happened, Levi would have gone straight to that motherfucker and eviscerate him.”

Eren swallows and fixes Kenny bony fingers, as he takes the cigarette out of his mouth.

“But, God be blessed if he’s there, you woke up. A bit crumpled, but you woke up and I thought we had just avoided a catastrophe. But then, again, it seemed like it wouldn’t end because you were not well. You look well now, kid” Kenny confesses “and I feel like I can talk to you because you are _here_, not lost in some sort of universe where you father keeps strangling you.”

Eren winces at that and then nods to Kenny.

“But back then, I was worried because if it was for you to remain in that state, Levi would’ve had to stand up for you and fight in your place and I was thinking that’s not fucking fair. If you loved him as you were sayin’, in my mind you should have gotten your shit together.”

Eren sighs, he never knew Kenny was so observant. Like he saw what kind of relationship was between him and Levi, but never noticed how much Levi’s uncle analysed him.

“And then you changed your mind? Last night?” Eren asks and Kenny shakes his head.

“Changed my mind since you were back from Cornwall – you moved around each other like two satellites. Your eyes would never leave his and his would never leave yours – it finally made sense to me _why_ from the entire planet he chose _you.”_

Kenny’s eyes, cold silver with wrinkles around, lock on Eren’s. It the first time Kenny looks at him like that and it dawns on Eren how much Levi resembles his uncle, maybe even more than his father.

“This morning he called me – I knew you was alone and I knew Demetrius came in town, but just hoped my sister wasn’t stupid enough to let him go to Levi. But she was, be damned.

Levi was angry a bit, but not as before, not to lose his head. He was annoyed, pissed off. I asked him what he talked to that motherfucker and you know what he told me?” Kenny asks with a half affectionate-half proud grin:

“He said <<I just told him to fuck off. The rest was already done by Eren.>>

<<Eren?>> I say and he confirms <<Yes, Kenny, Eren, _my Eren_.>>

Not gonna shit on you kid, I was taken aback more than I wanted, so I ask:

<<And?>>

Levi is silent for a bit, as he always is when his thoughts are a mess, as if he’s in one of those states when he composes songs. When I’m ready to lose my patience he says:

<<Kenny, remember how I was ready to kill for Eren?>>

<<Yeah, hope that shit never happens>> I say, warning him. He keeps going:

<<I think you should just change your mind – you shouldn’t be worried for me, you should be worried for Eren, because last night he was ready to kill the fucking French Minister of Culture>> and then his voice gets excited <<actually, uncle, he just killed him, with fucking _words_. And he was deathly calm and I was angry with my fucking father, but then I was just proud of this boy. He stood there with dignity and looked this man in the eye and told him what a _failure_ he is and how disgusted he is by what he’s trying to do. And then, he says that he’s honoured the French Minister of Culture is in his gallery, but he’s _disgusted_ that a person like him was there. And I just stand there and Kenny, honestly, I swear to you I fell in love with him all over again>>.”

Kenny finishes with a wide smile on his face and Eren blushes:

“So,” Kenny concludes “what I wanted to tell you with all this shit kid, it’s <<Welcome to our family.>>You can sit with us only when you fight assholes like Demetrius and _win.”_

Eren snorts at that and squeezes the calloused hand that Kenny stretched over the table to shake. Just then Levi enters the apartment with coffee and warm _pain au chocolat_ in his hands and gives them a weird look:

“Kenny, what the hell are you doing here?”

And Kenny gives him an equally weird look, says nothing, so Eren just goes to Levi and kisses his cheek warmly, thinking that he just got Kenny’s blessing to be forever with this beautiful human being.

[1] “But I have things I want to tell you”


	20. The sum of all good things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
Sorry for being late with the last chapter. Got caught up in some things yesterday and completely forgot :D  
So, here we are, at the end. Honestly, I can't believe I finished posting another fanfic of mine and people actually read it... Thank you for everything guys, for each comment, kudos or bookmark. It means a lot to me.  
As I said at the beginning, this story was a bit personal for me. I wrote it in a time when I needed to believe that people save other people for free, that things can get better and that, in the end, everything it's going to be alright. It was sad at times and uplifting in others... It helped me so I hope it was interesting for you too.  
Hope everything will be great for you this new year and in your life. ^_^  
Enjoy reading and have a great week! ^_^  
Thank you <3  
PS: the songs on Levi's album are piano versions of BTS songs. I just thought they suit Levi's style and the story.

One year passes.

September turns into October and Petra gives birth to a little boy, with copper hair and blue eyes and Eren and Levi start to spoil him rotten, ending up as Godfathers. They settle for Alphonse Edward as name. Petra beams.

In October the university starts again and Eren goes back to classes and to “Croquant”, retaking his place behind the counter and rejoining the group from the coffee shop.

Levi schedules his concerts in Japan and Korea for short amounts of time, sometimes taking Eren with him, sometimes going alone, but coming back in a few days.

Jean starts visiting “Croquant” with Marco almost every weekend, until somehow, one day, the friendship they once had resurfaces. It starts to feel natural and easy and Eren doesn’t know if he should forgive Jean or not, until Levi simply asks him if he’s happy with Horse Face as a friend and Eren says “yes”. And he gets his answer, although he knows Levi’s silver gaze still scrutinizes Jean every time he’s around, waiting for a mistake. Fortunately, Jean makes none.

November arrives with storms and the traffic in Marley gets shitty. The city smells like pollution, rain and wet dogs. Eren gets a little golden loop in his right nostril and Levi keeps saying that thing makes him permanently horny.

The phone calls one day – Demetrius is on the other side. Levi wants to break the phone, but instead Eren takes it and tells Demetrius he can shove his fucking guilt in his ass. Demetrius insists, Kenny takes the lead and threatens him. Levi fights his mother and it’s the worst state Eren has ever seen Levi in. The French words ripple in their apartment like gun blasts as Levi argues his mother. Through the phone Eren can hear the high pitch of her voice as she retorts, trying to make Levi change his mind and have a talk to Demetrius or whatever. Levi’s eyes are on fire, the silver in his orbs a molten metal that Eren imagines dripping down his cheeks and leaving holes in the floor like acid. After half an hour in which Eren figures Kutchel is irreconcilable, Levi shuts the damn phone as she was screaming something and stares at Eren. He comes near him and Eren takes him in his arms and Levi is crying his ass off for the first time.

The worst happened, then silence.

A blizzard announces one morning the arrival of December. Eren wraps himself in several layers to go to school and prays not to slip on ice. Levi looks cute with beanies and pale blue scarfs, but the cuteness disappears when he starts cursing as a barbarian in the traffic.

At work Isabel announces she’s pregnant in three months with twins. Eren and Levi hope to be Godfathers again and to spoil another “little monster” as Levi jokes.

Levi’s album, called simply “Eren” comes out at the middle of the month. It has 5 tracks on it: “[Spring Day/Reiss Central Park](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26I1hs1bg3o)”, “[Mikrocosmos](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-h2CViLrAI)”, “[Heartbeat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=au2HMk_u2PQ)”, “[Euphoria](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxgXDXw0g3o)” and “[Let Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72WR-1Wx7yc)” and Eren listens to them on his earphones when he doesn’t make Levi play for him.

On Christmas Eve they arrive at “Kutchel’s Rest” and spend the Christmas Day wrapped around each other in bed. Eren gets Levi an album with all the pictures he took on their first trip there. Levi gets him a T-shirt that says in big capital letters “May the bridges I burn light the way” adding Eren is badass.

It’s a quiet and simple Christmas. Actually, it’s also Levi’s birthday.

New Year is spent with friends, gathered in Isabel’s apartment. Eren drinks too much, gets drunk and ends up flirting with Levi, then spilling pink painting on the floor of their apartment in an attempt to draw “Levi’s beautiful pink-pink heart”. Eren wakes up with the worst hangover ever and Levi makes love to him on the kitchen counter in the first day of the new year. They can’t keep a straight face around the kitchen counter since then.

Before Valentine’s Day Eren gets pink hair and Levi gapes at him for an entire half an hour, then announces with a grin they are taking a little trip to Tokyo. The “little trip” takes two weeks – professor Shadis kills Eren when he gets back and calls Levi to tell him “that’s not how you keep the brat focused”.

Levi gives two shits about that.

Spring comes and goes, drowning Marley in unexpected showers, but Eren secretly loves the weather because the gunmetal clouds remind him of Levi’s eyes when Levi’s not there with him. In March Levi takes him to Okinawa for his birthday – Eren paints the ocean again.

By the time April comes, Eren knows Levi won’t be away until autumn because he received another class at “Sina”.

In the first day of May a man from “Liberio State Prison” tells Eren his father asked specifically for the right to receive a visit from his son. Eren refuses and Levi fumes, but somehow, two weeks later Eren finds himself in a dull visiting room, waiting to see the man who destroyed his life. Levi, although angry and reluctant, said maybe he needs a closure.

He does.

When the door opens and Grisha enters the room, he’s a walking skeleton with no hair and trembling hands. The only thing that reminds Eren of his father are the eyes and the round wire rimmed glasses. For a while the silence between them is heavy and thick like tar.

“Thank you” Grisha says then, hands cuffed and folded in his lap. The orange prison uniform makes him look diseased.

“I didn’t come for you” Eren retorts in a steady voice “I came for myself.”

Grisha’s look is the clearest Eren has seen in years when he stares at him. The guardian told him he’s been introduced to rehab – he was causing too much trouble with his addiction. Now Grisha is scanning him and Eren knows he’s probably “flashy” in his father’s eyes – pink hair that in some places came out violet, the golden loop in his nose, the glasses, the contrast between his unusual eyes and the hair. Or maybe “flashy” is not the right word, maybe “fag” or “poof” are the right ones. Eren grimaces as he remembers how his father used to throw those words in his face, along with some punches. But then, he opens his eyes and sees how his father still looks at him as if he’d be a stranger he meets for the first time.

“What?” Eren challenges him “No <<you look like a fag>> or <<you’re a disappointment>>?”

Grisha flinches as if he’d been punched in the gut and closes his eyes. He doesn’t look hollow anymore, Eren thinks – now he looks like all the emptiness has been filled with guilt and regret.

“You know, I came here because I needed to show you that even if you wanted to destroy me, you failed. I’m still here and I live a beautiful life. And yes, you can say I came here just to throw this in your face – you deserve it” Eren says, running a hand through his pink hair. The strands are a bit rough at touch. Grisha follows the movement then fixes the letters written on Eren’s T-shirt: _“May the bridges I burn light the way”_, looking like he’s trying to grasp the meaning.

“Yes, I deserve it” his father adds after a long silence, locking eyes with Eren “I deserve everything.”

Eren clenches his jaw, he needs to keep the tumult of feelings away, he’s not that boy terrorized by his father anymore. He’s a young adult with a family he made on his own and a future. He’s happy now, this, _this man_ it’s just a ghost from the past. And it seems it helps to think like that, because Eren finds the power to tell his father something he always wanted to let out, to scream even:

“I’ve always wanted to tell you something..every time you’d tell me I was a disappointment I wanted to tell you, but somehow I’ve never find the power. I was scared, too scared” he bores his eyes into Grisha’s “I’m not anymore now. You know, yes, I am gay. I like men, I love one, I sleep with him and if he wants I might live the rest of my life with him. But that is not the worst thing I could do, it’s not the biggest mistake of my life. And it shouldn’t make you feel like I failed you. If I was a drug addict, or a thief, or an alcoholic like _you_, those are the things that should have disappointed you. That was the worst case scenario, _dad, _not the fact that I liked boys_”_ Eren finishes and Grisha’s eyes grow bigger. Eren didn’t say “dad” in disgust, it sounded more like a word you let out, clear in the air, because you know you’ll never say it again.

And to Eren’s surprise Grisha starts crying, silently, tears leaving wet traces on his sucked cheeks. He inhales and asks with a trembling voice:

“Your boyfriend is the one from high school?”

Eren rises an eyebrow:

“No. It’s the one that punched you in the face.”

Grisha blinks a few times in confusion:

“The pianist??” he repeats then.

Eren folds his arms:

“Yes, the pianist.”

Grisha’s lips form a neutral line, then it seems like he’s trying to hide a grin. Eren feels like his emotions are a mess of anger and regret and sadness. He stands up:

“This is the last time you’ll ever see me. Don’t ask for me ever again. I came just to show you that you failed to kill the failure.”

He rushes out of the room, slamming the door and not looking back.

Levi waits for him at the exit of the prison with a big cup of coffee.

Life is still good.

In the second week of June the news are filled with pictures and videos with a wrecked car on one of the biggest highways in France – Demetrius’ daughter dies in the car crash, along with his wife and a group of friends. She was at the wheel, drunk. He was not in the car because he was in Germany to a conference. Levi frowns at the TV after the news come in. Kenny is at that moment in their apartment and moves his eyes from Eren to Levi, through the thick layer of smoke he let out.

“Well, now God is truly cruel” he observes in a cold tone. Levi swallows and growls:

“Don’t be happy for someone else’s misfortune, uncle.”

Kenny pouts his lips:

“I wasn’t, lad. I was truly saying the motherfucker deserved many things, but not _this._”

Eren puts a hand on Levi’s pale knee:

“Are you ok?”

Levi’s eyes look wrecked, like he notices his feelings and that scares the crap out of him.

“I don’t know” he says in a small voice.

“You can be upset and sad, you know” Eren whispers gently, squeezing his knee. Levi puts his hand over Eren’s and hides his face in the crook of his neck, sobbing:

“I should feel nothing for this _idiot, _Jesus” he growls at the end.

While Levi angry-cries in Eren’s neck, Kenny throws the cigarette away and sits on the floor in front of them, putting his big calloused hand over Levi’s other knee:

“Levi, you feel because you’re not some sort of machine that sees people dying and just observes, ok? _Et finalement, il est ton père_”[1] he adds, making Levi jolt. Eren knows what Kenny means.

The man pats Eren’s shoulder and tells them:

“I’ll let you with your boy” then to Eren “take care of him, kid.”

Eren nods, of course he’ll take care of Levi.

A week after the funerals Levi calls Demetrius.

“I hate July” Isabel mutters in the second day of the previously mentioned month, baby girl drooling on her shoulder, while her twin brother drools on Eren.

Levi snorts at the view, turning over the burgers on the grill. They are in Levi’s apartment building backyard for a party and it’s too hot outside, the outdoor fan doing nothing to move the air.

Eren arranges the baby on his shoulders and grimaces when he feels the wet patch on his T-shirt. Isabel notices and declares:

“Oh, dear. Eren, I’m so sorry. I’ll tell Farlan take Lucas.”

Eren shakes his head gently, not to disturb the little bundle in his arms:

“Don’t worry, Isabel. I like him. What kind of Godfather I’d be if I wouldn’t let him drool on me?”

Isabel grins and Farlan puts mushrooms in the grill, observing:

“You look good like that” he elbows Levi and says “do something about that, mon ami.”

Levi mocks him:

“In case you forgot I can’t get him pregnant, you idiot”.

Eren goes tomato red and Farlan barks a laugh:

“Find a surrogate mother, you wanker.”

“I’ll fucking kill you, Farlan” Levi growls and Eren is still red, because Levi didn’t deny he’d have kids with Eren if they could.

Just then Demetrius enters the backyard, looking so weird without a suit, in white bermudas and a simple indigo T-shirt. He has a present bag in his hand and approaches them with wary eyes.

“Bonjour” he greets and Isabel responds with a big smile:

“Bonjour, monsieur Morriseau”.

Demetrius awkwardly hands her the present bag, muttering that it’s for the kids, his distress dissipating a bit when he notices Eren.

“Hi, Eren” he says and Eren nods and hands Farlan the baby. Levi puts the burgers on a plate, still ignoring his father.

At the table shadowed by a big umbrella Kenny, Armin, Annie, Mikasa and Hanji are playing some sort of card game and Kenny is losing, thing that makes him spit obscenities. Until he notices Demetrius and his eyes turn sharp. He gets up and Eren gets ready for a storm.

“Demetrius” Kenny greets coldly. Demetrius scans him head to toe and answers in the same manner:

“Kenny”.

Not sure if the storm was avoided or not, Eren elbows Levi as he pretends to help him with the barbecue plate and whispers:

“You invited him, talk to him, Levi”.

Levi narrows his eyes:

“I don’t know why I invited him” he growls.

“_Levi_” Eren warns and the pianist gathers his lips in a thin line. Eren leans in and kisses Levi on the forehead, trying to break the resistance he shows:

“You don’t have to forgive him, but… he’s here now and he looks quite uncomfortable. And you’re not cruel” Eren adds at the end, disposing another kiss on Levi’s forehead.

Levi immediately relaxes and Eren smiles – the second storm was avoided.

“You know I can be cruel” Levi whispers back. Eren snorts:

“Yes, when you want. But you don’t want that now.”

Levi sighs and turns to Demetrius, who suddenly fumbles like a kid with the hem of his T-shirt. He looks lonely in the middle of their backyard, with no one talking to him - Kenny turned back to the table. In the background their friends laugh at something he says. Eren’s stomach clenches with pity again, but in the last year he has come to terms with that. Pity for his father is not ok, but maybe pity for Demetrius _is._ He was ignorant, but _not a monster_ and maybe this is what makes him different than Grisha. Maybe this is why he should receive half of a chance.

“Don’t stay there like an alien” Levi addresses his father and Demetrius jolts and grimaces.

“Est-ce que tu veux que je parte?”[2] he asks Levi, boring his blue eyes in his. Eren thinks he might have understood what Demetrius asked – does he wants to leave?

Levi clears the air – he stares at Demetrius and answers:

“If I wanted you to leave I wouldn’t have invited you”. He nods towards the table:

“Hope you like barbecue.”

Demetrius stares at Levi and then at Eren. Eren shrugs and heads towards the table.

Maybe July heat is not that bad.

In October, when autumn is mellow and the wind ruffles the dry, wine-red leaves, Levi takes Eren back to Cornwall. They get there in a rainy Sunday, with gunmetal sky and murmuring waves.

The cottage smells familiar and they just stay indoors in that first day. Eren will miss the beginning of his last year of university, but it’s kinda worth it. He missed this place. At night, when he settles between Levi’s secure arms and the man runs his fingers through his now blue hair, he says:

“Can’t believe another year will soon be over.”

Levi kisses his temple, body warm against his:

“Best year ever, just because you were here. Otherwise it sucked.”

Eren giggles:

“Come on, Elliott, it was not that bad.”

Levi rises on his elbow and pokes Eren in the stomach with his long finger:

“It was shitty, brat. Very shitty.”

Levi’s warm smile tells Eren he’s just joking. He leans in and kisses Eren deeply, then whispers against his lips, hands mapping Eren’s chest and going down:

“I have a surprise for you tomorrow.”

Eren moans instead of answering because Levi’s hands got between his legs and he forgets for the rest of the night that he should be curious.

The next morning the rain has stopped and the sky is grey, no wind, no seagulls, only the constant buzz of waves. Time looks frozen.

Eren is alone in the bed, sheets crumpled around his body. He stretches his limbs and ruffles his already messy hair, noticing a letter that waits for him on Levi’s pillow. He picks it up and starts reading:

_“Dear Eren,_

_I know you’re probably confused by the way you’ll start this Monday morning, but don’t worry, I’ll explain myself._

_You see, a year ago, date exact more or less, I was reading a letter from you. It was something that was not supposed to get to me, but it got anyway and even if I invaded your private thoughts at that time, I’m glad I did._

_Back then you wrote to me that I was your hero and today I hope I still am. I’ve come to understand in the last year what you meant back then. But what you don’t know and probably never thought is that you are also a hero to me._

_You see, Eren, before I met you I was afraid to love. Love was such a strange concept to me that sometimes I was thinking it could come and punch me in the face and I’d still not recognize it. I was permanently in a chase, a constant race through life. Don’t get me wrong, I was content with my career and my friends and Kenny, but in the back of my mind I knew I was running towards an undefined target._

_And then, you happened. _

_Love was rare in my life up until that very moment, but then I saw you and..well, everything changed. Because I was curious about love, I was wondering how it feels to have someone to love and to love you back. And thanks to you I know that now, I’ve learned how it feels._

_Love is an Americano with two shots of espresso._

_Love is a day in the park in the company of the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen._

_Love is shoving a motherfucker’s face on the floor (still not sorry, Horse Face)._

_Love is punching a father in the face, if that means to keep you safe._

_Love is you, Eren. To me love is you, it has your eyes and your hair, but most important, it has your heart._

_Thank you for loving me, brat. _

_PS: I wait for you on the beach. There is something I have to ask you._

_Levi”_

Eren is so overwhelmed by Levi’s words that he barely finds his clothes. Heart pounding in his chest he heads to the beach, the already iconic teal Converses sinking in the wet sand. He needs a new pair.

The breeze is gentle and not too cold, but the sky looks indeed frozen. Levi stands with his face towards the ocean, lean body wrapped in a long black autumn coat that makes him look like a sin.

Or a fallen angel, Eren can’t decide.

The air is salty and the waves fill the silence with a thrum – the heartbeat of the world.

Eren gets near Levi and wraps his arms around his waist:

“Hey, beautiful” Eren says and Levi turns to him:

“Hey” he answers. He looks nervous and skittish and Eren doesn’t know it is because of the letter or because something bad happened.

“Are you ok?” he asks and Levi shakes his head, hesitant smile on his face:

“Yeah, just…” and his eyes, _those damn beautiful eyes_ scan his face.

“Just?” Eren breathes, now getting equally skittish.

Levi shoves one of his hands in the pocket of his coat, while the other holds Eren’s. And then he gets in one knee and Eren’s breath hitches in his lungs.

_Now time truly stops._

“Eren Gabriel Jaeger” Levi says, voice with that sharp undertone, weaving just a bit “will you marry me?”

And he takes out of his pocket a small black velvet box that it’s already opened, holding in his confines two delicate wedding bands, in white gold. Levi’s eyes are locked on Eren’s, equally frightened and curious and Eren falls in his knees near Levi and before sobbing like a wreck he says “yes, yes” and throws himself in Levi’s arms, making him fall on his back. They start laughing and crying in the same time and they kiss and hug, and Levi has sand in his hair and back and it doesn’t matter.

They get up and Levi puts the ring on Eren’s left ring finger. The wedding band is cold and looks perfect in contrast with Eren’s skin. He takes the other ring and puts it on Levi’s finger.

They get back in the cottage and make love like it’s the first time they taste each other, Eren riding Levi with slow, deliberate movements, hands on his chest and wedding ring shining in the rays of the lazy sun that just came out of the clouds.

Love is hope.

** _The End_ **

[1] “And ultimately, he’s your father.”

[2] “Do you want me to leave?”


End file.
